


After The Fall

by JulianGreystoke



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: After the Fall, Battle, Destroy Ending, Earth, JulianGreystoke, ME3, Normandy - Freeform, OCs - Freeform, Other, War, continues, new characters - Freeform, original - Freeform, victory fleet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 10:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 75,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2544035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulianGreystoke/pseuds/JulianGreystoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war is over. The galaxy saved. Or is it? What became of Commander Shepard, last seen taking a breath in the rubble? Why are the Keepers gathering the bodies of the fallen? Why is everyone on the Sol system cut of from the rest of the galaxy?  What if the fight hasn’t ended?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rubble

Part 1  
Rubble

She was aware of being dragged. When she could force her eyes to open she saw dim lights flashing across her vision. The smell of blood and smoke drowned her. She might have believed she was in hell, if she put any stock in those sorts of places. She was numb. Hadn't there been a lot of pain before? When was before? Numb...that wasn't good. Her mind was going foggy again, fading to blackness. The dragging stopped and someone was shouting. “Hey! Get away from her!”

Blackness.

When she woke again, she did feel pain. Until then she hadn't been aware that your fingernails and the ends of your hair could hurt, but she swore that hers did. She also swore aloud, in a faint, breathy voice. “Fuck.”

She heard scuffling, then a face swam into her bleary vision. Large eyes, very deep brown, were all she could latch onto for a long moment before she realized that a salarian was hovering over her. His skin was green, a bit like Kirrahe's, but with more compact features. “You're awake?” he asked.

“What the hell?” she managed. She didn't dare move anything but her lips. She wished she could find a way to stop breathing, because even that hurt like hell.

“You're okay,” the salarian said, though he didn't sound sure. “A keeper was trying to drag you away, but I saw that you weren't dead. They're still piling the bodies.”

“Keeper? The citadel?” her memory was starting to come back. Hadn't there been a child? Wait, not a child. A VI. Why was it always the VI?

“Indeed,” the salarian smiled slightly. She noticed he had a few darker green bruises on his face and one eye was slightly swollen.

“Did we win?” she slurred. Her own lips felt like she had taken a mean right hook from James Vega.

The salarian smiled fully this time. “We sure did! The citadel took one hell of a beating. I don't know how many survivors there are in here. I'm sure there are rescue teams on their way, we just have to hold out.”

“I...” she winced. “I told that little shit to go to hell.”

“Little shit?” the salarian asked.

“Never mind. Do you know what happened to the Normandy?”

“The flagship?” the salarian's eyes widened. “Did you serve on her?”

The salarian didn't know who she was. Well, in his defense, all her armor had been burned off, along with much of her skin. “Yeah,” she exhaled the word with effort.

“Wow! Did you charge the beam? A few made it up here, I think. I heard a transmission about it before the comms went dead. Very exciting!”

She decided to try moving her arm. The right one. She recalled her left was pretty beaten up. She began with her fingers, then moved the arm. Miracle of miracles, she lifted it slightly. “Damn. I don't think I've ever been this beat up,” well, not since I died. She decided to sit on that information for the moment. She didn't know this salarian. With her luck he'd turn out to be a criminal and if she said that she was commander Shepard she might just get held for ransom.

“I sewed up your arm,” the salarian said, pride in his voice. Gently he lifted her left arm into her sight. Long, ugly gouges had been neatly stitched and cleaned. “I'm a tailor,” the salarian admitted. “It was all I could think to do. Not so sure about the rest of you. I used up all the medigel I could scrounge together.”

“Where are we?” she asked, after a moment of rallying herself. Every word took more effort than it should.

“The wards. We're near my apartment, but it got, well, destroyed. Technically we're squatters in someone's home, but I don't think they made it because I haven't seen anyone but us for a while.”

“The Reapers?” she still couldn't wrap her mind around it.

“The crucible didn't fire.” explained the salarian. He stood up, moving across the room. She noticed at once that his leg was clumsily splinted and he moved with great difficulty. Shortly he returned with a glass of water for her. When he passed it to her his hand was shaking, probably from the pain of his trek across the room. When he spoke again his voice was tight, “We thought we were done-for. Finally it did fire. All the Reapers died. Just, fell out of the sky, or hung there, like empty puppets.”

“Good,” she gritted between her teeth. “That fucking kid can go to hell.” She winced again and he looked concerned.

She attempted to drink the water he'd gotten her, lifting it clumsily with her good arm. He helped, propping her up. This motion made it almost too painful to drink, but she forced herself to take a few sips. “I hope they come soon,” said the salarian. She must have looked pretty bad because his eyes were even larger as he watched her face.

“Me too,” she mumbled.

“I'm Tek, by the way,” he said.

“I'm...” she was fading again. She didn't want to, but the pain was pushing her under. “Commander Shep...” she passed out.

She didn't wake again for a long time.

“Here! We're over here! Injured inside! Help!”

“It's alright. We've got you! Easy now!”

“Here, in here! She's messed up pretty badly.”

“Shepard?! Lorelei?! Oh god!”

Voices swam in and out of her mind. She wasn't certain they weren't part of her dark, confusing dreams. Then she was being lifted. Carried. The experience was acutely painful, and he felt annoyed. Why couldn’t she just go on sleeping? She forced her eyelid open to have a word or two with whoever was jarring her along so rudely. “Kaiden?”

Sure enough, she was in his arms. He was carrying her, like a child, across the rubble two where stretchers were waiting. Her hand groped and she clasped his armor to make sure he was real. She knew his smell too well to believe this was a dream. Tears ran down her face. Lorelei Shepard had not cried more than a handful of times in her life. Most of her tears had fallen when she was still a child on the streets of earth. Still too young to understand how to be strong. Now all her strength leaked away. She was in someone's arms and she was being carried to safety, and it was about damn time!

He set her on the waiting stretcher. She heard the chatter and buzz of every rescue worker in the area radioing that they had found her. Against all odds they had found commander Shepard. She wished they would be quiet. She didn't realize she was still gripping Kaiden's armor until she felt him gently pull her fingers free. He lay her hand on her stomach. “We've been so worried. Oh, god, Joker! I have to tell him. Poor kid has been out of his head.”

“Garrus?” she managed to choke out the words.

“He was hit bad, but he'll pull through.” Kaiden said. He looked a little sad, but only for a moment.

“Where...are we going?”

“Earth. We've set up emergency hospitals there. Most of your crew is there, except Tali.” Kaiden explained as they began to move.

Shepard managed to turn her head, and saw with relief that her salarian rescuer was also riding a stretcher, being fussed over by someone in first responder armor. She vaguely realized that she was receiving similar treatment, but took little notice. “What happened to Tali?” she asked, still too numb to feel really alarmed.

“She's fine,” Kaiden reassured her. Somewhere along the way he had taken her hand. She was usually the hand-holder. The strong one when others were down and out. It was nice to have someone do that for her. She remembered when doctor Eva had almost killed Kaiden back on Mars. She supposed he was returning the favor. “Tali's taken charge,” he went on, “Right now she's got everyone listening to her. It's like they elected her your proxy, what with Garrus down for the count. She's coordinating fleets, managing rescue efforts, working on the mass relays...”

Go, Tali Shepard thought with a wan smile. Even smiling hurt. “The relays?”

“I'll explain later, when you're up for it.” he smiled at her and she saw a tear run down his cheek. He hadn't expected to find her. He'd thought she was dead.

“Look,” the salarian, Tek, spoke up. She tilted her head in his direction. “The keepers. They're still piling bodies. Why are they doing that? The Reapers are dead.”

“We don't know,” Kaiden said, watching a nearby keeper lug what was left of a human torso towards a heap it had made. “We've been leaving them alone except when they try to put a live person in their pile. We'll have to try to figure it out eventually, but for now I don't think it matters.”

Shepard was feeling distant again. The voices were beginning to echo around her. “Kaiden...”

He leaned close, concern in his eyes, “What is it?”

“My ship?”

“The Normandy is great,” he said. “She weathered the storm with the best of them.”

Shepard smiled, then passed out again.


	2. Earth

Part 2  
Earth

Shepard did not dream. No unearthly child stalked the dark forests of her mind. Perhaps it was the drugs. Maybe it was just her injuries which allowed her to sink into blissful blackness. Whatever the reason, when she woke she felt more rested than she had in a long time. Well, her mind felt rested. Her entire body ached. She might have been able to find a few parts of her (a pinky toe perhaps) that didn't hurt, but she didn't care to. She let the soreness wash over her like a familiar wave. This wasn't the pain of before. This was recovery pain, dulled by drugs. Her body was mending. Protesting, but mending.

Somewhere a machine beeped rhythmically as she allowed herself to slip from her dreamless slumber. She let herself wake gradually. Relished it, strangely enough, as she became aware of one thing at a time. First the ache, then the beeping. She was laying under soft blankets, and on a soft mattress. The lights were dim, but she could see ceiling tiles, some of which were charred. The place smelled of smoke, debris and antiseptic. A field hospital. A pretty plush one, she thought as she twitched her fingers over the sheets. Then she became aware of a weight at the end of her bed. Garrus? Her mind asked eagerly.

She could make out the figure in the dimness. It wasn't Garrus who's torso lay against the end of her bed, one arm extending to bridge her legs. Protective, she thought as she studied the figure. Human. Probably male. He was seated in a chair beside her, sleeping with his upper half draped against her bed. She reached down carefully and touched his hair. The man stirred, his other hand sliding from beneath his chest to reveal a crumpled hat clenched in his fingers. “Joker?” Shepard whispered.

He stirred again, then groggily raised his head, blinking at her as though he was not fully aware of what he was seeing. Then his eyes met hers. “Shepard,” he exhaled her name as though it was his first breath in a long time. He scooted his chair towards the head of the bed and grabbed her hand. Not in a comforting gesture, as Kaiden had done, but with desperation. He needed to know she was real. Was it really so hopeless? She wondered. Had her chances of survival been so slim? And Joker was crying.

“Hey,” Shepard soothed, moving her other arm with difficulty to touch his face. Her arm was bandaged from shoulder to fingers in clean white. “Hey now, what's with the waterworks?”

Tears were running down her pilot's cheeks like rain, and he didn't seem to notice or care, “I...I am so sorry, Shepard,” he croaked.

“What? Why? I heard you took great care of my ship,” she said, taking his hat from his other hand and straightening it back into form.

“Yea,” he scoffed, tears dripped from his stubble onto her sheets. “I took great care of the Normandy, but I left you. I left you, Shepard!” his voice was tight. Furious and full of self loathing. “Why the hell did I pick that moment to start following other people's orders? I never should have left you! I should have come after you!”

“Joker, hey...Jeff. You did the right thing. You protected my people. You knew that was what I wanted.”

Joker took his hat as she offered it to him and tugged it on with a practiced motion. He pulled the brim down low to hide his eyes. “I could have done both. I'm the best damn pilot in the galaxy. I could have done both.”

“Modest as ever,” she chuckled lightly.

A slight smile flashed on his thin lips. His tears had slowed. “I just...after all this. The war. My sister. EDI. All of it, and then I left you. You! You fucking came back for me when the Normandy was getting blown apart. You DIED to save my life, and how do I pay you back?”

“By not letting anyone put a scratch on our baby this time.” Shepard said, firmly. “You did good, Joker.” She felt a needle stab in her heart. Not the pain of her injuries, but of memory. “You did good, child. You did good.” She pushed him from her mind as best she could. She could mourn once she knew the score. Get the full casualty list, then mourn the dead. “Your sister and EDI?” she asked.

“Hill...Hillary never made it off Tiptree. My dad either.”

“I'm so sorry, Joker.” This time she found his hand and squeezed it. Back in her role as the comforter. The strong shoulder.

He shook his head. “I think I knew. I got through a few stages of grieving before I was even sure they were gone. I guess it didn't hit me as hard as it could have.”

“And EDI? Is she alright?”

Joker pushed the brim of his hat up with his free hand. He preferred to look her in the eye, she knew. She was one of the few people Joker honored with eye contact. “When the beam finally fired from the crucible, EDI just sort of...collapsed. So did the Reapers, actually. At about the same time. I figured they were connected, but-”

“They are,” Shepard assured him. “Damn that kid!” she snarled. Her lip curled in a grimace of anger and she felt a cut slip open again, sending a little rivulet of warm blood trickling. She brushed it away with her free had. She'd forgotten that she was still holding Joker's. It felt natural. He was her brother, without question. Strangely enough, she even felt that he was her older brother. The way he would take her to task when he felt she was on the wrong track; wasn't that what big brothers did?

“Damn what kid?” Joker asked, watching her eyes for clues.

She briefly explained her citadel experience, knowing she would be repeating it many times in the future. She felt glad that Joker had been the only one here when she woke. Though seeing her mate, Garrus, would have been nice. Still, it was good to talk to only one person for the moment. She didn't feel she could handle a crowd.

Joker listened, his face registering confusion and concern. “That's what happened? A glowing child appeared and told you that you had three choices. That sounds like bullshit, commander. Doesn't that sound like bullshit?”

“Hell yes it sounds like bullshit, but I didn't have much to go on at the time. I took the choice that seemed most likely to kill the Reapers. I'm sorry about EDI.”

“The geth too,” Joker said in a mumble, as though he wasn't sure he should have spoken.

“I was worried about that,” Shepard said slowly, looking down at her bandaged body. “What about me, I've got tech in me too. And you. And Garrus?” she ticked off the list of people Cerberus had helped by putting technology in them.

“Garrus and me came out fine,” he explained. “You...you took more of a beating. If that salarian guy hadn't found you-”

“Tek? How's he doing?”

“Badly broken leg. They say he'll probably always limp, but otherwise he's good. Anyway, when the Reapers went down, the parts of you Cerberus put in that were modified from Reaper tech, those went down too. Lucky for you, the Illusive man kept that stuff out of your brain.”

Shepard thought back to the vids she had seen on the Cerberus station before she and her team hit earth. The Illusive man had wanted her mind to be her own. She wondered if Kia Leng would have fared as well. “Lucky me,” she agreed.

“You lost some bone grafts,” Joker went on. “They also rebuilt a lot of your muscle tissue, but your own muscles have since grown in to replace those. At least that is what doctors are telling me. Good thing too, or your heart would have stopped when the Reapers did.”

“So am I going to be the gimp in the family now?” Shepard asked jokingly.

“They can replace your lost bone grafts, but they wanted you to get stronger first,” Joker said, smiling slightly. The tears had dried on his face now.

“How do I look?” Shepard asked, cautiously.

Joker gave her a crooked grin. “You know that scar through your left eyebrow?”

“Yes...” she'd had that scar for a long time. She had gotten it on when she told the leader of 'The Reds' (the local gang she ran with) that she was joining the military. He'd punched her right in the eye. She'd come back with a solid uppercut to his law and laid him out. He never gave her any trouble after that. She'd had a few other scars from when Cerberus had revived her, but those had healed.

“Well...that scar has a few friends.” Joker went on, his eyes sparkling, “And your nose might be a little crooked now. In fact, I don't think your eyes are even any more.”

She smacked him with a motion that hurt her about a million times more than it did him. He played it up all the same, yelping and pretending to cower. Unfortunately his racket attracted the attention of a nearby nurse. The pretty asari insisted that Joker leave at once. Shepard needed her rest. He protested, but Shepard gave his hand a squeeze, then let it go, “Jeff. I'm fine.”

For a moment she saw it in his eyes. More than plain unwillingness to leave her side. He still thought he had abandoned her on the Citadel. She knew that wound would be slow to heal for her trusted friend. “You need anything, you call me.” he said, his voice firm.

“I will. I promise,” Shepard assured him.

He limped unwillingly out of the room. At the last moment he turned back. “Tali thinks she might be able to fix the geth. If she can, there's hope for EDI as well.”

“Out!” ordered the asari nurse.

Shepard let the nurse fluff pillows and straighten blankets. The commander's mind was alive, even if her body was down for the count. The crucible's killing beam had only knocked out Reaper tech, or so it seemed. The geth with their Reaper enhancements and EDI, having been reworked heavily by the Illusive Man. Perhaps there was a hope that they could return after all.

Then the nurse injected her with something and Shepard slid back into blackness, but this time she was less pleased to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Announcement**I have been reading my fanfic aloud to put up on youtube. I go the extra mile and use pictures of the background to set the scene. Are you a Mass Effect artist? Want to get your work noticed? Draw/create a picture of one of the scenes from my fanfic, and I'll use it in the video (with you name on it so people can see who made it!) It's a win win! I get cool art for my fanfic and you get free advertising! Please check out youtube to ensure that the scene you are drawing has not already been read, however. If you draw a scene that has already been read I will still link to your art in the description of the chapter.


	3. Vakarian

Part 3  
Vakarian

“Shepard!”

It took seconds for Garrus to reach her, even though he was making his way on crutches. He flung them aside and threw his arms around her. They were a tangle of blankets and limbs as they clung to each other like two bodies floating in space, terrified to lose one another in the icy blackness. He buried his face in her neck and she felt his warm, familiar breath. Pain lanced through every part of her, but she didn't care. She was crying again, but these tears were different than the ones she had shed when Kaiden has carried her to safety. These were tears of pure joy.

“I almost thought the galaxy had gotten a lot emptier,” Garrus said, his voice muffled by her neck. His lips tickled.

“I didn't want to get to the bar too early,” she answered, finally pushing him back to look him over. He looked a little worse for wear, but nothing compared to when he had had half his face shot off on Omega. Obviously there were the crutches, but she saw no grave injuries. He seemed to take her in as well, with a deep love in his eyes. It was clear he never intended to let her out of his sight again. Nearby the nurse made tutting sounds, but it was obvious she had tried and failed to keep the turian from his mate's side. She would have no hope from removing him from his spot on the bed, arms wrapped around Shepard.

Their lips met. Garrus had gotten a lot better at kissing in their time together. It wasn't something turians did. They were more for nuzzling and the odd forehead to forehead moment. His lips felt so warm and welcome. She didn't even notice the cuts on her own lips when they protested. When the two came up for air, Garrus put his forehead against hers and moved to stroke her hair, as he had always done. Then he sat back in surprise.

“What?” she asked, giggling at the expression on his face. “Is my nose really that bad? Joker told me it was crooked now-”

“No, it's not that. They...” he seemed nervous about telling her.

“What?” she snapped.

He knew that tone of voice and didn't dare keep mum. “Looks like they had to cut off your hair.”

“Huh?” she raised her good arm, but even then he shoulder was so stiff she almost couldn't touch the back of her head. Sure enough, her black hair was cut close to the scalp. She had had glorious hair, that fell straight as an arrow to her butt. She always kept it up in a bun when on duty, but Garrus had been enthralled with it when she let it fall free. She felt a little sad. She had always liked her hair.

“I'm sorry,” said the asari nurse, and he did look apologetic. “We had to stitch some wounds on your head, and it was best to just cut your hair.”

“I understand,” Shepard let her hands fall to her lap, where Garrus scooped them up at once.

He took several moments to kiss each of her fingers in turn before giving her a playful smile. “I guess I'll have to leave you. Your hair was the only reason I was hanging around.”

She chuckled. It made her ribs ache and he must have seen her wince because he made a sympathetic sound. Then he scooted all the way onto the bed and gathered her into his arms. Her body protested, but she mentally told it to fuck off. “Never again,” she whispered, nestling her cheek against his chest.

“Hmmm?” he asked, snuggling into a more comfortable position.

Her mind went back to that moment on earth. A mako had been thrown by the Reaper beam weapon. She and her team had managed to dodge, but the mako had sprayed boiling fuel onto Liara and Garrus. Liara was burned, but Garrus took the worst of it. Joker had risked it all to bring the Normady in for evac, as well as drop off fresh troops. Shepard had instructed Liara to take Garrus up the gangway to safety. He had refused to go until Shepard had told him she loved him. Love. She'd never felt anything quite like what she felt for Garrus. A longing, binding, wild, tame, freeing, all encompassing feeling. “I'm never leaving you like that again.” she said.

“Good.” he replied, kissing the top of her head.

“You're marrying me, Garrus Vakarian.”

“Am I?” she could tell he was smiling without having to look at his face. “That's a human tradition right? To publicly celebrate the joining of two people? Turians don't have anything like that. When you chose your life-mate you just tell all your friends and family and they congratulate you, and that's all. Do you want a big party?”

“No. Once I get back on my feet, and then back on my ship, we'll get married there. I always knew I'd be wed on a ship. I'll see if Hackett can do the ceremony, though I expect Tali would do just as well.”

“Sounds exciting,” Garrus said, gently arranging her IV tube so he wouldn't bump it.

“I'll keep my last name, of course,” she chuckled. 'Shepard'. It wasn't even her real last name. She didn't know what her true name was. She'd been a small child on the streets of earth, scraping by and trying to survive. One night she'd fallen asleep in a crate that had once held apples. She liked the smell. The next morning a teenage boy wearing a red neckerchief had fished her out. She didn't know it then, but she was being recruited into 'The Reds'. They'd noticed her. How tough she was, surviving on her own the way she did. Fighting off dogs to get scraps of food. The boy had asked her for her name, and she had told him that she didn't have one. He'd shrugged, then looked at the box she's been sleeping in. “Shepard Valley Apples” was stamped on he side.

Later she chose her first name. Lorelei; after a movie star she liked. That Lorelei had been tall, slim, glamorous, and most of all, dangerous. She always played the roll of the bad-ass. The woman in charge. Even then young Lorelei Shepard had had a leader's mind and a warrior's soul. Of course, then she could never have guessed she would go on to save the galaxy. Or at least try to save it. Even nestled in Garrus' arms she couldn't quite shake something. A strange notion that it wasn't over. At first she had assumed it was the PTSD talking, but there were drugs for that. Could it be some kind of instinct?

“Should I change my name to yours?” Garrus asked, startling her from her revery. “What does human tradition dictate?”

“No. I don't think you should,” she said, smiling. She tilted her head and kissed him on the lips again. “After all, there's no Shepard without Vakarian.”


	4. Report

Part 4  
Report

Shepard was allowed a few more days of quiet. One visitor at a time (mostly Garrus), and the stern, watchful eye of the nurse. Just when Shepard thought she might try getting out of bed (testing exactly how bad her injuries were) in an attempt to find out what was going on with the galaxy, her crew stormed her room.

Tali was in the lead, followed (in wedge formation, Shepard noted appreciatively) by Liara, Kaiden, Joker, Garrus, Grunt, and Wrex. 

Shepard was greeted and hugged by all. Grunt had rushed to her, exclaiming: “Mother!” and hugged her so tightly she made a little yelp and Wrex had to pry the young krogan away. Wrex himself settled for trapping her good hand in a grip that might have broken the fingers of a lesser woman.

Greetings finished, the group arranged themselves about the room. Garrus and Joker sitting on her bed, Liara and Tali up and pacing, and everyone else locating chairs. Shepard gazed at her people, lovingly taking in all their faces. Her throat tightened as she thought of those who were not with them. Mordin, Thane; their memories were still fresh in her mind. It seemed there was an empty space in the room where they might have stood.

“Alright, everyone,” Shepard said, sensing they were all awaiting her to begin the conversation. “Report, please! I am going crazy in here!”

Tali was holding a data pad and handed it to Shepard, speaking as her commander read. “The Destiny Ascension, with the council aboard, went down in the battle. A brief power vacuum occurred and Admiral Hackett and I did our best to fill it. Everyone was clamoring for you, Shepard. I'm glad we found you.” Tali's words carried more than just pleasure at no longer having to bear as much of the leadership role, but also a clear joy at having found her dear friend.

“Who else did we lose?” Shepard asked, flicking her thumb across the data-pad screen to scroll down.

“Samara and Jack did not make it, I am afraid,” said Liara, gently. “They both died bravely. Samara was killed when she managed to create a barrier powerful enough to deflect a Reaper shot. She saved an entire group of turians, allowing them to retreat.”

“And Jack?”

“She and her students were on the front line. They took out hundreds of the Reaper creatures before they went down, fighting to the last man.”

“A memorial is planned,” Tali intoned solemnly, “but everyone agreed we'd like you to attend, Shepard. Once you're on your feet again-”

“That won't be long,” Shepard said, fiercely, propping herself more upright against her pillows. It hurt, but she never showed it. Her mind was already in full gear. She was a fine military commander, but she wasn't sure she could pull the residents of earth, and what remained of the Victory Fleet, back together. Her face remained set, never hinting to her people how uneasy she felt. “Javik?” she asked, tentatively.

“Alive,” Tali assured her, and Shepard felt welcome relief. “He's been out helping with rescue and rebuilding efforts. He's been tireless.”

“Joker told me that the Mass Relays are down?” Shepard pressed on. She needed all the information before she started to worry about too many small pieces.

“It seems so,” Tali said, idly wringing her hands.

Shepard watched Tali's body language. She knew quarian culture relied heavily on physical communication to replace facial expression. “What's up Tali?”

“Well, it's just...we can't seem to communicate with anyone outside of the Sol system, and with the relay down...”

“What, what about-” Shepard began, but Liara cut her off.

“I know what you want to ask. The quantum entanglement communication admiral Hackett had been using to keep us up to date on the Crucible. Remember, Commander, that the system is strictly point to point. Hackett's ship came to Sol with the Crucible.”

“So we could communicate with it, but why, because we can already call up Hackett's ship on normal comm channels?” Kaiden chimed in.

“Correct,” Liara nodded sadly.

“Wait. Wasn't that how we used to communicate with the Illusive Man?” Garrus sat up, jostling Shepard's leg. She winced. “Sorry, love,” he patted her knee, gently.

Liara stopped pacing, snapping her fingers. “We had another connection! I have no idea if it is still active, or if we can restore it, but I can give it a try.”

“Wasn't Hackett firing on that base right before the Citadel appeared over earth?” Garrus questioned. “He might have destroyed it.”

“He might not have,” Tali pointed out, catching a little bit of the excitement.

“Comms are down outside of Sol, but there's hope if the Illusive Man's base is still in one piece?” Shepard smiled, her old sarcastic side showing itself again. “So basically, we're screwed right?”

“Right,” Liara smiled, but brought the topic back to task before Joker joined in and the whole thing devolved. “The bad thing about discovering the Mass Relays was that no one felt the need to develop long distance FTL travel. It would take us years just to get to the nearest inhabited system.”

“So what are we looking at? How long have we got before we're out of resources?” Shepard scanned their faces. She was ignoring the datapad, preferring to get the information straight from her people.

“We're not as bad off as could have been expected,” Tali explained, “The resources of earth might not stretch far, but we're not going to starve to death tomorrow. The Reapers focused on large populations and cities, leaving the agricultural areas alone. I know the humans also have several hydroponic farms on the moon and Mars. I'm glad you encouraged us to bring the Live Ships into battle, Shepard. They are able to provide dextro food for the quarirans and turians.”

“Though I have to say, I'm hoping the dextro rations last a bit longer,” Garrus said, wryly. “I've seen what quarians eat, and while I might be able to digest it, I don't know if my taste buds will let me swallow it.”

Tali shot Garrus a glare, which Shepard knew was more playful than angry. “Garrus does bring up a good point. While the Victory Fleet might not have been overburdened with provisions, we do have quite a few military rations to see us through.”

“We'll try not to eat you out of house and home,” said Wrex, showing his teeth a a grin that would have looked like a snarl if they didn't know him.

“We'd appreciate that,” Shepard chuckled. “At least we didn't bring many krogan to earth.”

“Right,” Agreed Wrex, “while we were taking on the Reapers here in the Sol system, my people have been retaking planets,” he nodded to Garrus. “We've almost certainly gotten your planet back. You're welcome.”

“No arguing here,” Garrus raised both hands, “I'll be the first to personally thank every krogan soldier that helped reclaim Palaven.”

“I'll hold you to that,” Wrex laughed.

Liara cleared her throat. “I'm concerned about communications, Shepard. I don't like it that we can't reach anyone outside the system.”

Shepard knew what Liara was getting at. Some of the crew knew that the young asari was the famous Shadow Broker, but not all. For the Shadow Broker to suddenly drop off the radar? That seriously narrowed down where he/she could be, not to mentioned opened up the position for someone else to fill it. Shepard knew that if Liara wanted to have any hope of continuing as the mysterious information trader, they would have to get communications working, and soon. Still, there were more pressing matters at hand. She knew the score as far the dead went, and no one was going to starve for the moment, so another question needed asking. “The Reaper corpses?”

“We have evacuated people from all cities where the corpses are laying. This limits our shelter, but we don't need anyone getting indoctrinated,” Tali explained.

“I know Reaper corpses could indoctrinate before, but can they still?” Shepard asked, eyebrows knitting together.

“We're not 100% sure,” Tali said, clasping her hands together in a gesture which Shepard knew conveyed unease. “We have had soldiers that were evacuated from Reaper areas reporting symptoms that sound like early indoctrination. We're not taking any chances.”

“Why would the Reapers keep indoctrinating after they're dead? I thought that shock wave you sent out destroyed their Reaper brains or something,” Joker tugged the brim of his hat, nervously.

“We don't know,” Liara paced the room a few times. “At this point we don't know much at all. We're just keeping everyone away.”

“It's not easy,” Tali said, “Scientists of every species are eager to study the Reapers.”

“Not us,” Wrex growled. “We're the ones doing most of the security duty. Making sure nobody sneaks in to have a peek at the dead monsters. At least until we figure out how to burn the corpses, or whatever needs to be done.”

“And the ones in space?” Shepard asked.

“We're keeping away from those too,” Tali assured her. “Until we can figure out a surefire way to destroy them. It takes a lot of effort to blow one up. Even dead, they still have armor. Then you have the pieces flying everywhere, hitting ships, falling into orbit and onto earth.”

“Sounds like a hassle,” Shepard shook her head. Her mind was buzzing with questions, ideas, possible plans. She shot each plan down as she thought it. She didn't know what to do. That wasn't a normal feeling for her.

“I'm a little worried about something else, Shepard,” Kaiden spoke, sitting forward in his chair and lacing his fingers together. “This alliance we've formed. It's very new. We came together against something huge. Something galaxy-ending. Now we're all trapped in one place, have limited supply chains, and only became friends because something terrible was facing us all. I've already heard rumbling from some of earth's anti-alien groups...”

Shepard winced. She'd been a member of one of those in her youth. The Reds. In reality she had only joined because she wasn't given a choice. They promised her food and shelter. Back then the Reds were a juvenile group. They perpetrated petty crimes. Defacing diplomatic buildings. Intercepting shipments of food intended for alien shelters or gathering places. They busted up a few dextro soup kitchens as well. In recent years she had only heard from the Reds once, and she had told them to fuck off. Could other groups like them, or even the Reds themselves, be plotting against the new alliance? “The other races?” Shepard asked, her muscles tensing. She needed to get out there, and soon.

“The salarian STG is a bit vocal in their distrust of the krogan guarding the Reapers, but no actual fights have broken out.” Kaiden glanced at Wrex and Grunt.

“That's because they know we'd take them apart if they tried.”

“Wrex,” Shepard warned.

“I'm keeping my people in check, Shepard. I keep reminding they that they have mates and babies waiting at home because of a salarian.”

“I'm counting on you, Wrex,” Shepard's voice was commanding and military. The krogan responded best to a firm tone.

Wrex nodded. “The pup is a big help as well,” he slapped Grunt on the back. The gesture would have broken the ribs of a turian, but Grunt was barely moved.

The young krogan smiled a little crookedly. “They can't argue with superior genes.”

“I am doing my best to keep an eye on the asari,” Liara strode to the door and looked down the hall to make sure no one was listening in. “Sadly, I am not well respected amongst my people. To them I am still a child, and still the daughter of a pure blooded traitor.”

Shepard nodded sadly, but understandingly. “And the quarians?”

“Eager to help,” Tali said proudly.

“The turians as well,” Garrus pointed out, his mandibles flaring.

Shepard sensed the friendly rivalry between her two friends showing itself again. She smiled slightly. If the two of them could bicker, it meant that things were not going too badly out there. Not yet anyway. By the look they were giving each other she almost expected them to start comparing their kill count from the battle, and she let herself relax.

Kaiden didn't let her to relax for long. He looked a little sorry as we went on with his report. “The ones we predict having the most trouble with are Aria's people. You may have helped them retake their home, but they're far from it now, and lacking their leader.”

“And they're criminals, is that what your trying to say?” Joker asked, blunt as ever.

“Well, yes it is,” Kaiden took Joker's comment in his stride. “We'll have to keep our eyes on them.”

“So what now?” Shepard asked, knowing the answer full well.

“You need to get out there, Shepard,” Wrex answered, flatly.

“Agreed,” Shepard said. “As soon as possible I need to get out of this bed and address these people. We need leadership. A new council, perhaps,” she liked the idea more and more as she spoke it. “Garrus, I'd like you representing turians. Tali, you'll speak for your people. Wrex, you will be the new, krogan councilor.”

“About time,” Wrex smiled, toothily. “Too bad it took the galaxy almost ending to get a krogan on the council.”

“This council may not last,” Shepard warned, “but we've got to have something, and we need everyone represented. Did Kirrihe make it through?”

Kaiden pulled a datapad from a pack he wore at his waist. After a few moment he looked up from the pad, orange light washing over his stubbled chin. “Kirrhe is still MIA, commander.”

“Damn,” Shepard clenched her good hand into a fist. The others might have thought she was upset over the loss of a potential council member. In reality she was worried for her friend. She and Kirrahe thought very much alike. He was a truly stalwart solider, and would be sorely missed if he was found to be dead. For the moment she allowed herself to hope that he was alive out there somewhere. If possible, she would search for him herself. Her body may have protested, but Shepard's mind was too strong for it. She could overcome any pain to fulfill whatever mission she set her teeth into. Though her tongue did prod a spot where one of her teeth had been knocked out.

“His second in command was found,” said Kaiden, squinting at the data pad, then looking pleased with himself.

“Rentola, wasn't it?” asked Liara.

“Yes,” Kaiden confirmed with the flick of his thumb.

“Get him, for the moment at least,” Shepard instructed and Kaiden nodded, adding the new name to the list he had been creating.

“The asari representative?” asked Liara, hesitantly.

“You,” Shepard spoke offhandedly, as though Liara was silly to have asked.

“But Shepard-”

“They may not respect you now, but if you stand up beside the other leaders and prove you have their interests at heart, you'll win them over. I have complete faith in your skills,” Shepard shot Liara a wink. If the Shadow Broker couldn't figure this out, then who could?

“Humanity?” Kaiden's fingers hovered over the small letter keys on the datapad.

“Admiral Hackett, of course,” Shepard lay back against her pillows.

Her friends all glanced at one another. “We were actually thinking of you, Shepard.”

“Me? But I'm a soldier. I'd make a lousy politician.”

“Hackett is a soldier too. You, yourself said that this new council is likely temporary,” Garrus pointed out, taking one of her hands.

“I...but...well...” for once in her life commander Lorelei Shepard didn't know what to say. She looked into the eyes of her crew, and they gave her a firm order. Finally she just smiled, “fine. But it has to be temporary,”

“I had better be,” said Garrus, smiling by spreading his mandibles. “I don't want to go into politics any more than you do.”

“I'll make sure someone finds Javik. If people see that we still have a Prothean on our side, it will go a long way,” Kaiden put the datapad back into its pouch.

The group hashed out a few more details, then dispersed. All but Garrus, who had insisted on staying with Shepard. He sat on a chair beside her bed while she pretended to dose. In reality her thoughts were as active as ever. In her mind's eye she walked the halls of her beloved Normandy. She gave orders, as naturally as she breathed. It had seemed obvious for her to appoint a new 'council', and for her people to listen when she told them they should be on it. Slowly it dawned on her what she had truly done. Everyone. Not only all the humans, but every race trapped in the Sol system, was looking to her for leadership. That was a new feeling. A frightening feeling. She would have to try harder than she ever had, and succeed more readily than before. She couldn't let these people down. Even as her mind filled and spun with these weighty thoughts, she still pictured herself, standing before the galaxy map, choosing a destination for her ship. “Garrus,” she mumbled.

“Yes,” he leaned towards her, setting his reading to one side.

“You know how we talking about retiring someplace warm?”

“And living off the royalties from the vids?”

“I don't think I can do that.”

“Hmmm?”

“I think I'll still be running and gunning on alien planets, putting down VI attackers and discovering new relics until I am old and grey.”

Garrus' hand closed firmly around hers. “I only said those things about retiring because I thought we were going to die. I'd go insane inside of two minutes.”


	5. Strength

Part 5  
Strength

“Let me know if I make it too tight.” Joker gently pulled the straps of the leg braces into place around Shepard's calves.

“I think that's good,” she said, feeling the unwelcome metal, cold even through the under-armor she wore between the braces and her flesh. She had insisted that Joker be the one to help her with her new leg wear. He worn similar ones much of his life, until Cerberus had come along. As much as she hated The Illusive Man, she was grateful for what he had done for Joker.

“There we go,” Joker handed her the twin canes she would also need. Shepard's bone grafts had gone well, but she had lost muscle and a lot of mobility. Pain medication was a godsend, she thought as she took the canes, nesting her elbows into the cups and tightening her hands around the grips. “Easy now,” Joker urged her, putting a hand against the small of her back to help her stand. She smiled crookedly. Would have guessed that it would come to this? Joker helping her to walk. The strangest thing was, it wasn't unpleasant. Feeling his supportive hand and hearing his encouraging voice.

Shepard achieved her feet. For a moment she thought she was going to fall back onto her bed. “Not so upright!” Joker instructed, “lean forward. Trust the canes.”

She followed his directions, carefully putting more of her weight onto her arms. It was strange leaning forward so much. All her life she had been fiercely upright. She could take a punch to the gut and still rise back up to stand tall. Would people even recognize her? Bent over, scarred up, short hair. She certainly didn't feel like the hero she knew they were waiting to see. She bit her bottom lip, holding it in her teeth as she moved forward. Joker continued to instruct, teaching her how to alternate feet and hands to take steps.

“Can I come in yet?” Garrus called. Shepard had made him leave the room. Strangely, the only one she wanted to help her with her struggle was Joker.

Now that she was on her feet she called to her mate, “Yes.”

The turian, still limping himself, came around the doorway and greeted her with a glorious smile. “Are you ready?”

She paused to admire Garrus. He was wearing a very flattering turian uniform. No bulky armor to obscure his shape. She wondered that turian armor was so massive, when their civilian clothing trended more towards the tight fit. She certainly didn't argue as she looked him up and down. Blue and silver? Had be commissioned that uniform specially? She looked down at her own attire. Dress blues, pressed and squared. Not a crease out of place. Her N7 patch was still worn proudly on her arm, and her chest was adorned with more than a few medals. It felt a bit unnatural, but she knew she had to look her best. She wished she still had her hair. She knew she'd look even better with that neat, military bun in place.

Even Joker was dressed up, though he would only be in the audience. She smiled at her companions and they made their way out of the hospital room. Shepard rejoiced. She had been growing to tired of that place. Her smile faded as soon as she was out the door. Where her room had been practically lavish (for a field hospital), the rest of the building was not. She could tell that this building had once been a medical facility, but it must have been sucker-punched by the war, because it was in shambles. They were on the ground floor, and Shepard suspected that upper floors were no longer viable. Likely many no longer in existence. Plastic was put up to hastily patch gaping holes in the walls. Stretchers were strewn about. I was obvious the workers had done their best to make things sterile, but everything still had the feel of dust that had not settled.

Shepard peeked into a few rooms as they went. Hers had been the most intact. “I didn't know it was this bad,” she said. She felt annoyed. Why had she been given the best room? Some of the people she was seeing now were certainly in just as bad of shape as she had been. Some of them were children. She shuddered. By the look of this hospital, things were worse than she had been led to believe.

Nurses rushed by, wheeling a stretcher. “This one was just pulled from the rubble today. Dangerously dehydrated! May lose the leg!”

Shepard did her best move out of the way as the staff wheeled the stretcher past. The human on it could not have been over 18. His eyes were glassy, but open. When she saw her they seemed to focus for a moment. “Wait!” Shepard called.

“We have no time. He needs immediate surgery!” said a salarian doctor, holding up a datapad up to the thin light streaming through a hole in the ceiling.

Shepard made her awkward way to the patient. His eyes flicked up to meet hers. His cracked lips moved fractionally. She shook her head. She let go of one of her canes and took the boy's hand. “It's alright,” she said, firmly in the tone she would use in the field on a wounded soldier. His eyes shone slightly. He knew her. Just by being Command Shepard, she'd given this kid a boost that drugs couldn't have. She let her hand slip out of his as he was wheeled away. For a moment she stood, balanced on her leg braces, clasping one hand in the other. He'd trusted her. He'd...loved her. Did she deserve that kind of adoration? A shudder rocker her body and she felt Garrus wrap a hand gently around her upper arm. He silently ushered her onward.

Outside the hospital the streets were being cleared. Mechs moved rubble in the still dawn. Birds were singing somewhere and Shepard felt her heart lift. Not so hopeless in the sunshine. Not so hopeless with the birds singing. She felt her smile return.

A shuttle was waiting. Shepard and her friends climbed carefully on board. Garrus had offered to carry Shepard, but she insisted on doing it herself. Inside the shuttle the rest of her crew waited, and she noticed at once that Steve was piloting. She would have rushed forward and hugged him, if she were able. She smiled when she even saw Javik sitting near the front of the shuttle. He caught her eye and gave her a nod of respect. She returned his nod, but felt a little concern. He looked slumped, maybe a bit listless. She remembered the plans he had told her of if he survived the Reaper attack. Was he still contemplating his own death? She did have time to think about it as the shuttle soon filled with chatter.

Shepard was soon beaming. Her crew didn't talk of somber things. They didn't discuss the damage, or the people still unaccounted for in the rubble. There had been, and would be time for such talks. For the moment they spoke animatedly and excitedly about anything that came to mind. Joker cracked wise. Liara theorized about how quickly the earth trees would regrow. Tali blissfully compared earth to her own home world. Garrus and Shepard told everyone of their plans to get married.

The shuttle ride ended all too quickly. Steve deposited them behind a large, impromptu stage that had been erected for her address that day. Crowds sat in front of the stage. Shepard felt intimidated seeing all those faces, but she also felt pleased to notice that salarian sat with krogan. Human with turian. No one segregated themselves. These people had faced war together. It was hard to go back to distrusting your battle buddy after that. The only ones who stood to one side were the rachni, but Shepard understood. They had no need for chairs, but squatted on their insect-like haunches, watching her. The queen was not with them, but Shepard knew she would hear what they heard, relayed back through their minds. A strange as they looked, she was glad they had come.

Those of Shepard's crew that were not members of the 'new council' went to sit in designated spots near the front. They received hearty slaps on the back and applause. When the crowd spotted Shepard, a roar went up. People sprang to their feet to give a standing ovation. Shepard felt her cheeks go hot. Did she really deserve all this adoration? She knew she was a natural leader. She'd been second in command of 'The Reds' at the tender age of 13, but were these applause really in order? She had killed the geth, after all. Trapped them here in the Sol system. She swayed back a bit, as though the noise of the crowd was physically pushing her. Camera drones buzzed excitedly towards her head. Her address was being broadcast to the entire planet, and the Victory Fleet. Her heart began beating a little too fast. Could she do this?

Slowly, she began to move toward the microphones that had been set up. There was one for each member of the new council. But she knew that she was the one everyone had come to hear speak. As she limped up she was painfully aware of how weak she must look. How defeated. She wished she could show them a stronger face. She watched as the crowd sat down again, and she could feel their eagerness.

She swallowed dryly. She'd thought about what to say, of course. She'd had a few options planned out. None of them seemed right as she stared at all the upturned faces. Felt the anticipation. She began to sweat. She wished she could shoot the camera droid that had moved in for a closeup of her face. Too long. She'd been standing there too long. People were starting to look at one another. What was wrong? Had Shepard's mind been damaged in the fight? Was their hero gone after all?

“Commander Shepard!” a voice shouted from somewhere in the crowd.

She looked up, her eyes scanning for the speaker. The camera drones spun around to search as well. Moments later an alliance soldier, still wearing grit covered armor and clasping his rifle, rushed the stage. He was intercepted by Wrex and looked shakily up at the krogan as though considering wetting his pants. The man turned uneasy eyes towards Shepard.

“Report, soldier!” Shepard responded.

He snapped to attention with a relieved look on his face. “Ma'am, I was ordered to get you! We found someone in the rubble. He says he's Cerberus! He's a biotic and he's erected a field around himself. He says he won't come out until we bring you, Ma'am!”

Shepards eyebrows shot skyward. “Cerberus?”

“We have collected a handful of Cerberus operatives,” Liara said, “mostly because they have stepped forward and turned themselves in.”

“Let's go,” Shepard said, grabbing her her canes.

“Ma'am, he may be dangerous,” warned the soldier.

Before Garrus or Kaiden, who were nearest to her, could move to assure her they would keep her covered, Shepard reached out a hand towards the soldier. “I'll need a weapon, then.”

“Ma'am?”

Everyone stood for a moment in confusion. Could she do that? Could she even hold a gun? “Your rifle-” she tilted her head to read the rank on his arm, “LT.”

“Yes ma'am,” the soldier turned his weapon and handed her the butt, still wearing that same terrified expression. Like a kid meeting a super hero he'd only read about in comics.

Shepard took the proffered rifle, swung in expertly into the crook of her arm, cracked the heat clip, checked the sights, and smiled. “This is a well treated of weapon, LT. Now, where is this Cerberus operative?”

The crowd exploded with wild cheering. At first Shepard was startled and looked around, confused. Then she glanced down at at herself. She had dropped her canes, one to each side, unnoticed. She was standing tall. Soldierly. The weapon she'd been given nested familiarly in her hands. She looked like herself, and that was all they needed. No big speeches. No fanfare and to-do. They wanted to see that she was still their leader, and they could go on through their struggles.

Walking was painful. It felt as though her bones had been replaced with swords, sawing away at her muscle with each step. She was setting her physical therapy back by weeks. No one tried to stop her. No one picked up her canes or offered her their arm. Instead, her crew fell in behind her as she followed the young soldier. The crowd kept roaring.


	6. Biotics

Part 6  
Biotics

The young soldier led the way to a waiting Mako, where other members of his unit proceeded to stare in awe at the woman he had brought with him. Shepard did her best to keep up a commanding, stern expression, but it was difficult not to bust out laughing at all the eager, thrilled faces. Like they were all meeting their favorite rock star. Their eyes just got bigger and bigger as they took in her companions. The famous Normandy crew.

Shepard looked the Mako over with a slight air of distrust, but her team seemed even less thrilled by the idea of climbing inside. Wrex walked up beside her, small eyes peering into the Mako's open personnel/storage area. “You won't be driving, right Shepard?”

“No, Wrex, I will not,” she said.

“Good.” The krogan climbed easily into the vehicle. Shepard watched as the humans inside scuttled to accommodate his bulk. Alarm and excitement mingled on their dirty, battle worn faces.

Shepard studied the step up she would need to take to board the vehicle, trying to chose the most dignified way to achieve the height without undermining her strong, leaderly stature. Garrus solved her problem by not caring. One sweep off his arms and she was off her feet and being lifted into the Mako. She would have protested but he took her completely by surprise. She was just grateful, as he set her in the fold-out bucket seat, that she hadn't yelped aloud. At least some of her dignity was intact. Luckily neither the soldiers, nor the watching crowd outside, seemed to take notice or care.

Soon they were rattling along over rubble and debris. Shepard, even though she was well strapped down, winced at the worst jostles. There was no such thing as a comfortable Mako ride, she thought wryly. She tried to focus on what the young LT was telling her. “The Cerberus biotic just walked right out of the rubble where we were searching for survivors. He put up a barrier and demanded to talk to you.”

“Don't you have any biotics on your team?” Kaiden questioned

“I am,” a female solider spoke up, looking slightly insulted. “I tried to bring his barrier down. It's very powerful. I've never seen anything like it.”

Shepard glanced at Kaiden and knew the look of concern in his dark eyes. Cerberus was always on the lookout for ways to create a better human. The person they were going to meet could easily have been genetically modified. Unstable and dangerous, but most of all, tortured. Cerberus was not famous for its care and concern for your personal well being. If it served his ends, TIM didn't give two shits what kind of terrible agony he put people through. Shepard tried to give Kaiden a reassuring half-nod, when the Mako pitched over a particularly large hurdle and she had to spend several moments chomping down on her bottom lip and squeezing Garrus' hand to keep her cool.

“We've reached the sight,” called the driver, as the crew eagerly unbuckled their safety harnesses and fled the vehicle.

Shepard allowed Garrus to help her down, but when he offered her her canes, she waved them off. Joker gave her a stern look, and she countered it with a snarky winkling of her crooked nose. He rolled his eyes and fell in with the group. Though Joker was never allowed to come planet-side on any of their missions, because of his disease and the need for him to stay with the ship, he looked right at home in the midst of the hardened soldiers he walked with. Smaller, certainly. A head shorter than almost everyone there, and certainly not as built, but he didn't falter in taking his place amongst them. Shepard smiled, adjusting the rifle she still carried. By the thrilled look on the young LT's face she suspected he was going to ask her to autograph the weapon when she was finished with it.

They rounded a mound of rubble which might have been a skyscraper at one time, and sure enough, the glowing blue dome of a bioltic field rose up before them like a bubble on choppy waters. Shepard herself was not biotically gifted at all. She self-identified as a meat-head soldier, though in reality she was more technically minded than most, and tended to prefer the sniper position. She looked towards Kaiden and Liara, who moved forward, arms raised, their own biotics reaching out to investigate the semi-sphere.

The Alliance soldiers who had remained to monitor the situation, took their turn to gape at Shepard and her famed crew. Shepard also noticed a few salarians standing around. Some waved omitools over the rubble, but they too stopped and stared at the famous personage in their midst.

Shepard approached the bubble, painfully aware that she was wearing dress blues, not her armor. For a moment her mind cast back to an image of herself, laying on her back in a puddle, armor seared off by the Reaper beam-weapon that had glanced past her. If it had struck her head on she would have been dead. She had struggled to her feet, fumbling in her own blood and the brackish muck. Her hand had found its way to her neck, touching the thin, silvery chain there. Her N7 tags. They were still attached. Good, she had thought hazily as she headed towards the beam of light guiding the way to the Citadel. Without her tags, how would they identify her body? She's expected death. She'd been fully prepared. Perhaps she should have died, but by god she was glad she hadn't.

The soldiers cleared a path for Shepard, nodding and saying “Ma'am” so many times she almost laughed again. She squinted into the biotic bubble towards the figure inside. He was small, compared to the barrier he had created. Shepard had seen Samara make one this big, but she was the only one. She didn't Kaiden to reaffirm that this was a very powerful field.

The man was crouched, arms wrapped around his knees, head down. She could tell he was wearing the sciences uniform that Cerberus favored. What was hell was he doing on earth? “I'm Commander Shepard,” she addressed the man, loudly and authoritatively.

At first the man didn't raise his head. Shepard was about to say something more, when she saw him move. He stood, though he staggered to the side and looked ready to collapse. Having steadied himself he finally raised his head. He was older, with greying dark-brown hair that fell a little beyond his shoulders, and a trim bearded, also streaked with grey. He squinted, then his eyes got very wide. “You...you are Commander Shepard!” his voice was husky and dry.

“You told these fine soldiers that you wanted to talk to me?” she asked, shifting her weight from leg to leg as gently as she could, trying to relieve her pain.

“I let myself hope. I kept hearing that you had lived and...well, I suppose I believe it now. My name is Cadel Johnson. It is an honor to finally meet you, Shepard.”

“Do you have a point you plan to reach, Mr. Johnson?” Shepard asked.

“Cadel, please,” the man smiled thinly. “I have an offer for you. I fully admit to being a scientist working for Cerberus and the Illusive Man, right up until the end. However, I can see which way the wind blows now,” he paused and gave Wrex a disgusted glance. “I have valuable information for you, Shepard. About you. I offer it, in return for my own safety, and the ability to continue my research.”

“Your research?” Shepard raised an eyebrow.

“I assure you, it is quite vital.”

“I'll bet,” scoffed Garrus.

“Do we have an arrangement?” Cadel asked.

“What is your research?” Shepard demanded, the stock of the rifle settling against her shoulder. She didn't even realize she had raised it until she was looking at the scientist through the sights.

“If you want to know, you'll have to agree to my deal,” the corner of the man's mouth curled into a challenging smile.

“Liara, Kaiden, I want that barrier down,” Shepard snapped.

“On it,” Liara answered, and Kaiden fell in beside her.

Cadel laughed, eyes flashing. “It'll take a lot more than two ordinary biotics to take down my shield.”

Kaiden smiled, “what if one of us isn't so ordinary? No offense, Liara.”

“None taken,” the asari said, her eyes squinted with concentration.

“Permission to fuck him up, ma'am?” Kaiden shot a quick glance over his shoulder at Shepard.

“Are you sure?” Shepard asked. She knew that Kaiden had a lot of power, but he could also cause himself harm.

“Oh, I've got this,” he gritted his teeth in a fierce smile. For a moment Shepard remembered why she had been attracted to him when they had first met. Garrus was her mate, no question, but there was certainly something in Kaiden that drew her towards him as well.

“You have my permission to fuck him up.”

Kaiden stepped forward, almost touching the other biotic's barrier. Arms raised, little surges of biotic power jumping between his spread fingers. His muscled tensed and Shepard felt all her hair stand up, as though she was statically charged. There was a rushing surge, as if an invisible wave had struck them all, and a few of the soldiers let out surprised noises. Cadel's biotic bubble burst like glass.

Kaiden straightened, lowering his arms. Then he swayed, hand to his temple. “Catch him!” Shepard shouted to Liara, who responded quickly. The asari managed to get her arms around Kaiden as he fell backward, crumpling to earth. Cadel didn't look much better. He remained standing for a moment, blood trickling from his nose and an ear, before he went down like a sack of grain. There was a solid 'thump' and his body hit the ground.

Shepard limped over to Kaiden, where he lay in Liara's arms, head against her shoulder. His eyes were open, though his nose too was bleeding. “You alright?” she asked.

He winced, then smiled, “Hell of a migraine, but yeah. I'll be fine.”

She reached down and patted him firmly on the shoulder, “good man. Now,” she raised her voice to address the soldiers, who had already moved to gather up the fallen scientist. “I want him secured and delivered to the Normandy. I think it's time we head back to my ship.”

~~~~~

It did take some convincing to get the Alliance soldiers, as well was the watching STG salarians, to allow her to transport their new prisoner to a shuttle and then to the Normandy. In the end, Shepard pulled rank, and no one overruled her. None of her crew minded. They too were eager to get back on board their beloved ship and home.

Kaiden was transported by stretcher, though the biotic soldier they had met shared some her own medication with him, which lessened his migraine significantly. Shepard still insisted he stay off his feet for the moment. It was a tough argument to win, considering that she was making her way with only leg braces, refusing to use the canes. It was true, the pain in her legs was getting intense, and she finally settled for sitting beside Kaiden on his stretcher, ostensibly to be supportive, though they all knew the real reason.

Garrus shot Shepard a stern glance as well, knowing she was going to regret setting her recovery back so far just to put on the show of being the invincible commander. She tried to keep her posture as straight as possible as she sat to make up for it.

Steve brought the shuttle around and soon the group was headed for the Normandy. Headed home.

Boarding her ship again, Shepard expected to feel the need to fondly touch the bulkheads, or at least stand and listen to the hum of the sleeping engines. Instead it felt as though she had walked in her own door. She had never had a proper home in her life. The Red's moved around, and then in the Alliance it was one barracks or another. As her feet hit the floor of her own ship, she knew that this was truly her place of belonging. Earth may have been her birthplace, but the Normandy was her soul's place.

Her crew. All still there. She was sure some had headed to earth. Perhaps to look for loved ones, or join in the search for the missing, but many had remained on board to keep the ship up and running. As she walked onto the bridge proper, every face turned and then they all stood. “Officer on deck!” Joker called.

The crew stood as one, snapping her a smart salute. She returned the gesture fondly, unable to shake the sudden, alarming feeling that she was getting credit for something she hadn't achieved. The nagging notion that this wasn't over yet. She had been able to ignore it on earth, with all those faces she didn't know. Now, looking at her people, so damn trusting. What if she had failed? What if she had doomed them instead of saved them? She swallowed, then nodded to them each in turn. When she had finished she barked, “as you were, people!” They shot smiles at one another and got back to work.

“I'll take the helm,” said Joker, limping away from the group towards the cockpit. Shepard knew she was the only one who detected the tiny hitch in his voice. It was going to hurt him to sit on the bridge without EDI.

“Was Chakwas informed?” Shepard asked, all business once more, as her ensemble headed for the elevator. She assumed the ship's medic would be on earth, helping in one of the field hospitals. It occurred to Shepard that it would take two trips to get this group down to the medbay. Wrex seemed to gather this as well, because he held Grunt back. The young krogan shot his 'mother' a questioning glance. Shepard gave him a quick nod and the krogan relaxed.

To Shepard's surprise, a familiar voice answered her question. “Chakwas is already aboard.”

“Trainor?” Shepard turned, her muscles twinging with the sharp motion.

“Yes, ma'am. Javik is also aboard, ma'am.” Trainor may have sounded military, but she was not even trying to conceal the big, goofy grin on her face.

“As you were,” Shepard chuckled, throwing an extra salute at the young woman. Shepard had always liked Trainor. She knew her business, did her job. Shepard had to respect that. “Alert Chakwas that we have two biotics coming her way. One of them is in pretty bad shape.”

Trainor took in both stretchers. Kaiden gave her a weak wave as her eyes passed him and moved to the other person, taking special note of the fact that the stranger was handcuffed. She looked slightly alarmed, but then collected herself, nodding at Shepard. “Right away.”

One elevator ride later they were headed for the medbay. Tali stayed in the elevator, unable to hide her glee at being back on the Normandy, nor her eagerness as she announced that she was heading for engineering.

“I'm going to my quarters,” Liara said quietly in Shepard's ear. “I know I won't be able to communicate with my connections outside Sol, but I have a few contacts within the system.”

“Won't that be dangerous? Give away your position.”

“I have some friends who already know I am the Shadow Broker. They can at least keep my name fresh in people's minds. Until I can get the long range comms back up. I'd like to see what I can do with the quantum entanglement comm system.”

Shepard chuckled, “you're like Santa Clause. If people don't believe in you, you don't exist.”

“I'm like who?”

“Never mind. Say hello to Glyph for me.”

“Will do,” Liara strode away.

In the Medbay Chakwas insisted that Shepard lay down, and Chakwas might have been the only person Shepard would have obeyed in that front. Of course the good doctor had upped the anti of the threat by reaching for her drawer of sedatives. She also ushered Kaiden to the bed beside Shepard and gave him a stronger pain killer, which seemed to help him a great deal. At least he stopped looking so pale. Finally Chakwas turned to her new patient.

“Details,” Chakwas said, her tone clipped and she frowned at the man.

Garrus summed up the situation as Wrex and Grunt stalked into the medbay. “Boys,” Shepard addressed the krogan. “Would you be willing to leave us alone for a little while? Grunt, someone else has taken up residence in your usual quarters.”

“I'll set him up in my old ones,” Wrex growled amiably. “I'll head back planet-side as soon as he is set up. I don't like leaving my men alone for long. Not with so many salarians running around down there.”

“Good news,” Chakwas interrupted as the krogan departed. “I don't think you caused him brain damage.” Chakwas shot Kaiden a dangerous look. “You're lucky you didn't cause yourself brain damage. What have I told you about overdoing it with your powers.”

“Sorry, mom,” Kaiden snarked, raising himself up on his elbows.

“Can you wake him?” asked Shepard, pulling at a clasp on her leg braces. They were uncomfortable as hell. How did Joker function all his life wearing things like this?

“I can, but it might be dangerous for him.”

Shepard extended a hand towards Garrus, who helped her down from the bed. She limped slowly across the room to stand over their prisoner. “Do it.”

“Alright,” Chakwas didn't look pleased, but she obeyed, sliding a needle into his vein and out again in two practiced motions.

The man, Cadel, stirred. His eyes fluttered open and he raised a hand towards his head, bringing his other hand with it, as he was still cuffed. Confusion and pain registered on his face before he seemed able to focus. He blinked, then squinted at Shepard. “Please,” he whispered. “Please lower the lights. They burn my eyes.”

Chakwas dimmed the medbay lighting and Cadel seemed to relax slightly. “Alright,” Shepard snapped. He winced at the volume of her voice. “You said you had information for us.”

“In...in exchange for my safety.” Cadel said. His voice was raspy, but firm. He rubbed his temple. “You didn't need to sick your pet biotic on me.”

“Focus,” Shepard snapped, and Cadel cringed. It was good to see that she could still have that effect on people. “Tell me what you know and maybe, maybe I'll offer you amnesty.”

“You know that the Illusive Man brought you back from the dead to fight the Reapers. He spent a great deal of money and resources on you, and ensured that you had your ship, and some very special crew members around you. Why do you think that was?”

“Because I was the best. Because I had faced Reapers before. He helped me build a team that was the best to fight them.”

“Really? A drell assassin on death's door? An asari Justicar? A crazed prisoner? You think these were the best people to attack a Reaper?”

“They were” Shepard's voice was dangerous. She her mind started to flash back to the Collector base. The suicide mission. Putting her people in such danger. She had vowed never to did it again, and of course, she had not been able to keep that promise to herself.

“No. They were chosen, and you were revived, for one reason,” said Cadel, smiling crookedly. “Your DNA.”


	7. Genetics

Part 7  
Genetics

“My DNA?” Shepard put her hands on her hips.

Cadel nodded, “The Illusive Man discovered something. Before he...before the Reapers indoctrinated him. When he was still on the galaxy's side. He knew about indoctrination, he was studying it, and it's effects.”

“Right,” Snarled Garrus, who was leaning in the corner, arms folded. “Later he used that research to find the fastest way to turn people into husks.”

“Vakarian?” Cadel sat up slightly. “Blue face paint and scars. Must be you! I admired your work as Archangel.”

“Can we stay on topic?” Shepard's tone was testy. She was starting to hurt a lot, and she was eager to get this awkward interrogation over with.

Cadel blinked a few times, as though he had forgotten his train of thought. “Right. The Illusive Man's early research. He was studying the brain activity that goes on when someone is indoctrinated. He was looking for a way to counteract it, to block it, or repair the damage to the brain. Instead, he stumbled across your medical file.”

“How the hell did he get his hands on that?” Shepard growled.

Cadel just gave her a look which expressed how easy a task he thought obtaining classified files from the Alliance was. Shepard gave him a warning glare. He pressed on. “What he found in the file was a breakthrough. Your brain, Shepard.”

“What about it?” Chakwas leaned forward, a wrapped expression on her face.

“You have a defect in your brain, Shepard. It's genetic, considered benign, but the Illusive Man saw it for what it was. Shepard, your brain will not allow you to become indoctrinated. You're immune.”

Shepard stepped back, no longer feeling the pain in her legs. She squinted at the man on the bed. He watched her with pale blue eyes. “What?” she breathed.

“The same thing that likely made you able to understand the Prothean beacon. You're genetically designed to fight the Reapers. Personally, I don't think it is coincidence. Cycle after cycle the Reapers come and they harvest. But they leave the lesser races. They didn't touch humans last time they were here, but humanity was touched by them, and humanity began to evolve. Very slightly. Very slowly. You, Shepard, are the result of that evolution.”

“And you're saying that is why the Illusive Man brought me back from the dead?” Shepard wasn't sure how to feel. How to react. Half of her wanted to believe him. The other half was screaming at her to hold a pistol to his head and demand he tell the truth. He was just trying to save his own skin. He'd say anything to get out of this situation scott free. For all she knew, he was indoctrinated himself.

Cadel must have noticed her distrust, but he forged on. Chakwas had turned and rushed to her computer, rapidly pressing buttons as the prisoner continued. Cadel licked his cracked lips, “It's not only that. He found you too late. You were killed. He almost despaired when the asari found your remains. He spent more money to revive you than on any project Cerberus had ever funded. Most people thought he was insane. Miranda Lawson for one. She wasn't told about your brain. She was just sent to monitor you. She also didn't know that she also had a similar anomaly in her own brain. She may not have known about you, but her father did. He wanted to create his daughters to be immune as well, though he only partially succeeded. Miranda was resistant, not immune.”

“Why Shepard then?” asked Garrus, stepping forward, glancing at Chakwas, who seemed to be glaring at her computer screen. “Why not find someone else, or create someone else?”

“We couldn't. We tried. We attempted to replicate the genetic anamoly, but only partially succeeded. However, we did discover that the defect existed in other humans, to a lesser degree, and also in other races.”

Garrus tilted his head, eyes narrow, “such as?”

“The team that the Illusive Man put together to combat the Collectors. You, Vakarian. You share a similar defect in your own brain. You're not immune, like Shepard, but you're resistant. The Drell, Thane. The asari matriarch. The quarian, Tali. The salarian, what was his name?”

“Mordin,” Shepard mumbled, though she was no longer focusing on Cadel. She limped across the room to stand over Chakwas shoulder. She recognized her medical file. Chakwas had pulled up a cranial scan. She pointed to a small portion of the coiled mass that was the human brain. “There,” she said, her voice husky. “The defect. In your hypothalamus where the brain decides when to secrete adrenaline. Alliance Medial noticed it, but could find no evidence that it impaired you, so you were declared fit for duty.”

“Adrenaline,” Shepard rubbed the back of her neck. “I remember something about that from the Cerberus facilities we've raided. The ones where they were creating husks. Something about the nano-machines which convert people in husks riding adrenaline, and its alien equivalents, through the body for fast conversion.”

“We came to believe that that portion of the brain had more to do with indoctrination,” said Cadel, who had propped himself onto his elbows. “At least judging by discoveries we made with Shepard. We had your brain in our hands, Commander. We found out a lot of what we were dealing with.”

“Do we have a brain scan of Garrus?” Shepard asked, her voice more urgent than she meant it to be. In spite of herself she was getting excited. Could this actually be true?

“We took one when he was shot on Omega,” Chakwas tapped a few more buttons and another image appeared. The turian brain was smaller, more elongated. Chakwas' eyes flicked across the screen for a few moments and Shepard realized that she was holding her breath. “There.” the doctor pointed. She circled the portion with her curser. Smaller than yours, Shepard, but definitely present. Right in the portion of the brain that secretes the turian equivalent to adrenaline. A slight irregularity. I'll be damned,”

Garrus was leaning over Shepard's back, and he almost pushed her forward into Chakwas in his eagerness to see. “Shit,” he breathed.

Shepard looked at the image of Garrus' brain, almost as though she was staring through it. Just before Kaidan spoke and distracted them all of the screen, she noticed something else.

“Chakwas!” Kaiden called, urgently.

All three of them turned around. “Oh god, he's seizing!” Chakwas exclaimed, leaping to her feet and crossing to Cadel in three strides. It only took the doctor seconds to grab a syringe from a nearby drawer and inject the convulsing scientist. Shepard saw blood trickle down the man's wrists as his hands yanked against the cuffs he still wore. Though she was still suspicious of his motives, she did feel sympathy for him then.

Cadel settled as Chakwas' medicine took hold. He lay still, eyes closed. “Did I do that to him?” asked Kaidan, nervously. “Did I cause brain damage after all?”

“We'll have to see,” sighed Chakwas, wearily. “We won't be getting anything more out of him tonight. I suggest we all get some rest. I'll keep looking over Cadel's work. I think I'll send a request to earth for some help, though,” Cahkwas rubbed the back of her neck, glancing towards her computer. “I'm a doctor, not a geneticist. If Mordin-” she stopped herself. Shepard knew that Chakwas understood how much Shepard missed her dear friend Mordin Solus. “We'll figure it out. Out you go.”

Shepard wasn't sure if she could rest. She was too wired. Her fingers twitched, as though eager to pull a trigger. Her soldier's mind was on overdrive. Was it a trap? A trick to fool her into going near the Reapers and becoming indoctrinated herself? Could it actually be true? She felt the barest twinge of insult. If it was true, the Illusive Man had not revived her for her skill or her knowledge, but for her genes. For a moment she wondered bitterly if he intended to use her as breeding stock when the war was over. Create more evolved humans? Well, the joke was on him, she thought as she allowed Garrus to take her arm.

She barely noticed as the turian guided her to the lift and they rode up to her quarters. Her mind was a million miles away. It drifted around her childhood on earth, a foggy haze of survival and strength. Living by her wits and skill. Her time in the Alliance, where her craving for structure was finally sated. All this with a possible new context. Was she the apex? The Reapers loved the idea of evolution. Could they have guessed that creatures would eventually evolve to combat them? If the scientist's story was true.

Garrus sat her on her bed and carefully removed her leg braces. He set them beside the bed and she scooted back to lay against her pillows. For a moment, he seemed unsure, but she stopped any notion he might have of leaving by grabbing his hands and pulling him onto the bed. Into her arms, where she kissed him, hard and passionately.

After a moment, she gently pushed him back. Her hands hooked lovingly over the boney ridge around his neck. “Garrus, why didn't you tell me you're blind in one eye? I saw it in your medical file when Chakwas showed us the scan of your brain.” 

Garrus sat back, an alarmed look on his face. As though she had found some deep and terrible secret. He moved away and sat at the end of her bed, his back to her. She scooted up behind him, wrapping her arms around him. His hands found hers, and he squeezed, but she could tell he was tense.

“Lost the vision in my right eye when I took that hit on Omega.” the turian said, slowly. “Mordin was the one who helped me modify my visor to compensate.”

“That's why you never take it off,” she said. Funny how she had barely thought about it before.

“Right. With it I can see as well as I used to. If I take it off, I lose my depth perception. What good is a sniper without that?” his voice was tight. She knew there was more to it.

“Garrus? Love. You didn't think I wouldn't want you if...?”

“I didn't know what to think,” Garrus stood, stepping out of her arms. “I just...I wanted to be a part of your team. A part of your life! I needed to be out there in the field with you. To have your back. To protect you.”

He must have known she wouldn't like that. “Protect me?” she said, trying not to sound too upset. “I understand, Garrus, but I can protect myself. You could have told me about your blindness. Don't you know me well enough to understand that I would never think you incapable?”

“I know you have a very low tolerance for weakness. I suppose I knew I'd tell you sometime, but...the right time never seemed to come up.” He turned to watch her. His small eyes were very concerned. “I'm sorry, Shepard.”

She crossed her legs, carefully. “You push me away sometimes, Garrus. You pushed me away when I wouldn't let you kill Sidonis. Now I find that you kept your blindness from me?”

Garrus hesitated. He seemed to sway; one moment towards her, the next towards the door. For a absolutely terrifying second she thought he was going to leave. Instead he returned to the bed, sat down and wrapped his arms around her. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her smell. “I won't push you away any more Shepard. I promise. We're bond-mates now. That means forever. We can't survive forever unless we stay united.”

She kissed whatever parts of him she could reach. His fringe, his neck, his mandibles, and then his lips. They kissed for several long moments. Finally she pulled back, breathing quickly, eagerly. “You know, my legs are feeling a lot better. I think I could handle a light bout of wresting.”

He smiled wolfishly, mandibles spread. “I've got the reach. We'll go easy on the flexibility tonight.”

They fell together onto the bed.


	8. Communication

Part 8  
Communication

The trees were tall and dark. Mist swirled around her. 'Songs the color of oily shadows'

“Shepard!”

“Lorelei!”

Voices whispered, called, even ordered her. She wanted to answer them, but she couldn't. She couldn't move. She stood, mired in invisible quicksand. Her heart beat overtime. Not with fear, but with anger. Her fists clenched.

She knew this dream. She'd been prone to bad dreams all her life. Vivid nightmares that would have started a weaker person weeping. As a child she had been chased by shadows, and her life in a gang did nothing to lessen them, only adding to her nighttime pain. Then, after she had finally outgrown those nightmares, there was Akuze. Her men screaming for her, holding out their hands towards her, and she towards them, but it was never enough. They were ripped in half, devoured whole, shredded into bloody piles before her eyes. Drugs had always helped with the PTSD. She barely flinched when people touched her now, but the dreams would never end.

Some nights on the Normandy she dreamed of Ashley. The young woman, bleeding in the shallow water beside a bomb that would take her life. The water ran red as Shepard chose to save her lover, Kaidan, instead of her friend.

Some nights she dreamed of the collector base. Her people; brave to the last man. They'd all made it out except for Miranda. The cold part of Shepard thought that one loss was acceptable. Her gentler side scolded her for even considering that.

Shepard looked around. He'd be here. She knew he would be.

Finally her dreams had shifted once again. New nightmares, nothing unusual there. After the fall of earth she saw that child. Now she knew that the Catalyst had taken the form of the child. Why? To anger her? To confuse her? Had it reached into her mind and pulled that memory free? It must have. Unless she had been indoctrinated. No, she easily pushed that from her mind. Her team would have noticed if she was.

“Shepard”

She turned. “You,” her lip curled.

“Me,” said the Illusive Man. His face was still scarred and twisted with the machinery that the Reapers had given him. “You failed, Shepard.”

“No, you did,” she snarled, though in this dream world her voice seemed small, while his boomed.

“I failed, you failed, we both could not save humanity. It is humanity's destiny to fall.” he was smiling his wily grin. Shepard loathed it.

“The Reapers are dead!” she spat.

“You think so?” the Illusive Man asked, eyebrow raised. “What a pity.”

She was about to yell something at him. Maybe call him a fucker, but she hesitated. Hadn't she suspected that very thing? Hadn't some part of her told her that they'd all been wrong? That the Reapers weren't done? What if the Illusive Man was correct?

She heard someone else. She turned again and the child was there. He looked up at her, small eyes filled with mirth as he pointed at her and laughed.

Shepard woke with a suddenness that made her wonder if she had been asleep at all. There seemed to be no transition from sleep to waking. She blinked as her quarters on the Normandy came clear before her eyes. The ship hummed reassuringly. She was overcome with a feeling of safety. True belonging. She moved, wincing. Her legs stabbed with pain. She wondered if she would even be able to stand today. She glanced at her leg braces, discarded on the floor beside Garrus' shirt. She turned to see her turian mate, still slumbering at her side.

Shepard smiled. All thoughts of her dream were pushed away as she studied the chiseled lines of Garrus' features. He slept propped in a semi-upright position, as was natural for turians. His breath was slow and even. The scarred side of his face was to her, and she traced the familiar grooves in his flesh with her eyes. He'd been right, she thought with a smile. After he'd been hurt he mentioned that some women found scars attractive. He wasn't far off. If there was one thing Shepard hated, it was perfection. She had even taken some small pride in knowing that her nose was crooked now. The features of a civilian were flawless, but those of a warrior, those had character.

She reached out a hand and traced her finger gently around a scale-like plate on Garrus' chest. His skin was warm, though turian's tended to have slightly cooler body temperatures than humans. He stirred and looked down at her. His face broke into a smile at once. He took the hand which had been touching him, and kissed it. “How'd you sleep?” he asked.

“I had been hoping the bad dreams would stop once the Reapers were dead,” she said, honestly.

He nodded. “Me too.”

She cocked her head at him. “You have nightmares too?”

He gave her a sad look, “of course. You don't go through what we've gone through, Shepard, and not have nightmares.”

“Time to take our pills, then” she laughed. Both she and Garrus were on medication, though she took meds for her PTSD and her pain, while he only took the dextro antidepressants.

He laughed, tossing his blankets aside with a dramatic flourish. She couldn't help but blush. He was completely nude. Come to it, so was she. This made her laugh as well as she watched him sort through the scattered clothing, trying to separate his from hers. As a joke, he pretended to try to pull on her dress blue jacket, causing the medals to jingle. “You'll rip it!” she warned, still laughing, holding her ribs as they protested.

Garrus located his clothes and dressed. “I'll have to bring some of my things here, so I don't have to wear the same clothes again,” he said.

She smiled fondly at him. She hadn't even needed to say it. He knew they would be sharing her quarters from then on. He walked, a little stiffly, to her dresser. She felt a twinge of sadness, knowing that he was still recovering from his own wounds from earth. He distracted her easily by pulling out several clothing options for her to choose from. “I don't know much about human fashions, but I know you like red and black.” he said as he worked.

Shepard picked out a pair of dark green cargo pants (loose enough to accommodate her leg braces), a black t-shirt, and her N7 hoodie. As she dressed Garrus helped her get the leg braces on. She already loathed them as instruments of torture. Garrus saw her face as he tightened the straps. “This wouldn't be so bad if you had used your canes yesterday,” he scolded.

“You know why I had to leave them,” she said, her voice tight.

Garrus rolled his eyes, but didn't argue as he helped her stand. Her legs screamed with pain and she had to try hard to remain quiet. Her teeth clamped together so tight she was sure they made a grinding sound. Garrus supported her until she steadied herself and the pain subsided to a manageable throbbing.

The two of them made their way slowly towards the lift. “Where to?” asked Garrus.

“Medbay,” Shepard said, tapping the button in the lift. “I need to know more about what that scientist was talking about.

“I wonder if Liara managed to track down someone to help out.” Garrus pondered aloud as they reached their destination.

The crew-deck was bustling. Chatter echoed off of the curved walls. Shepard let the sound wash over her. A happy crew. That sound was music to any commander's ears. Tali was eating at a nearby table, across from Joker, Gabby and Ken. She spotted Shepard and waved like kid in a cafeteria who has just spotted her best friend. Tali may have been an admiral, and even taken charge of a solar system full of frightened people, but she was still herself. Tali patted the spot beside her on the bench as Shepard and Garrus walked up.

Joker looked Garrus up and down, no doubt noticing that he was wearing the same dress uniform as the day before, only with significantly more wrinkles. Joker gave Shepard a subtle thumbs up.

“Eat breakfast with us,” Tali encouraged Shepard when the human did not sit.

“I want to check in with Chakwas first,” Shepard said. “Have we heard anything about getting another scientist up here to help out?”

“We found someone,” Joker said around a giant mouthful of runny scrambles eggs. He wiped some of his breakfast out of his stubble, “though I think you'll be a little surprised but who.”

“A salarian I expect,” said Ken, stealing one of Gabby's toast halves while his fellow engineer was giggling over something with Tali.

“Not quite,” Joker's expression was mischievous.

Shepard raised an eyebrow. “ETA?” she asked.

“Not sure. Should be soon, though,” Joker answered, swigging some grape juice.

There was a sound from the lift and everyone turned. “Well shit,” Garrus breathed as, what they could only assume was the requested scientist, stepped into the room.

Where chatter had filled the air, now silence had its reign. Every eye was on the stranger. “Uhm...hello,” Shepard said. Her tone was cautious, and she couldn't stop her hand from drifting towards her hip, where her sidearm would have been holstered.

“Is that...?” Gabby managed to splutter.

“A rachni, yeah,” said Garrus.

Someone dropped their coffee with a clatter and splash. The creature stood, a little uneasily, half in and half out of the lift, blinking several eyes. In one of its many limbs it held what appeared to be a medical kit. “Can our translators handle this?” Shepard asked, uneasily. Her mind searched her own personal knowledge. She spoke passable turian and some Krogan (mostly swearing), but had no idea when it came to rachni. The sound she had heard them make was more like shrieks and chattering, versus language. Only the queen could speak, using the corpses around her as vessels. No corpses here.

“I have my own.”

Shepard's head jerked back up to look at their visitor. The rachni moved a limb to indicate a small device attached to the side of its head. 

“Well, then,” Shepard said quickly, her instinct kicking in. “As you were” she hissed towards her people, who took the hint quickly, though they still stared. “Welcome to the Normandy. I am Commander Shepard.”

“A pleasure to meet you,” said the rachni, dipping its head. Its voice through the translator was gravely and a little high pitched. “My name is The Sound Of Water Over Stones. Most humans call me Stone,” it continued, good-naturedly.

“Well...nice to meet you, Stone. And let me be the first to thank you and your people for aiding us in our fight against the Reapers.” Shepard said, putting on her best diplomatic air.

“This galaxy is our home as well,” the rachni replied simply.

Shepard was struck by how well spoken the creature was. It looked like some sort of bug-dog, crouching on the floor and looking at her with man eyes, but it sounded as diplomatic as she. She couldn't help but smile.

“I was told you have an issue you were wishing for my assistance with?” said Stone, titling its head. “I am the foremost geneticist amongst my people. The knowledge of the elders has colored my song.”

If Shepard looked confused by the last statement, the rachni didn't notice. She gestured towards the medbay, “I'll take you to a work station,” she said.

Stone dipped its head in acknowledgment and followed Shepard's lead. Its feet tick-ticking against the metal plating of the floor. The crew, who had been trying a little comically to go back to their conversations, stopped and stared once again. Shepard shot them a warning look as she, Garrus, and their guest, stepped into the medbay.

Inside Shepard was a little surprised to see Kaidan, who was standing behind Chakwas at her main computer. Cadel was sitting up on his bed, legs crossed, with a laptop in front of him. His wrists were still bound, but his fingers worked busily on the keys. Kaidan spotted the rachni and turned, unconsciously placing himself between the creature and Chakwas. His eyes were wide and alarmed. Sparks of biotic power jumped across Kaidan's open palms. Shepard raised her hands in a calming gesture. “This is Stone. He...?” she hesitated, glancing at the rachni.

Stone didn't seem offended by the moment of confusion, “I am a worker child,” Stone explained. “Therefor I am male. Females are very rare, and are meant to become queens.”

Shepard nodded, thankfully, then continued addressing her people. Chakwas had pivoted in her chair and was peering around Kaidan's hip. Cadel had stopped typing and was staring, mouth hanging open. “He is a geneticist and has come to help substantiate Cerberus' claims about my immunity to indoctrination.”

“I am very excited to investigate these claims,” chirped Stone, setting down his pack and taking a few, cautious steps forward. “Which one of you is Dr Chakwas?”

Chakwas wheeled her chair out from behind Kaidan. Of the group, she seemed the least alarmed. “I am. I had been hearing good things about the rachni. Your people are brilliant engineers, but I had no idea that you were scientists as well.”

Stone scuttled forward in a startling little spurt which made Kaiden jump. His biotics became orbs of energy around his hands, but he managed to stop himself from attacking. “Kaidan, it's alright,” Chakwas assured him, touching his elbow.

“I am sorry,” Stone said, dipping his head and lowering his waving limbs. “I forget that humans find us startling at times. I assure you, I mean you and your vessel no harm. I have been personally working with human researchers on the Crucible for many months. Please feel free to check my file.”

Kaidan seemed taken aback as he lowered the hand he had raised, no longer surrounded by swirling blue. “I'm sorry,” he mumbled, uneasily.

“I am most interested to be working with you, Dr Chakwas. Is it true you were inside a collector ship?” Stone asked, approaching again, though this time being careful to move slowly.

Soon Chakwas and the alien creature were chatting away, amiably. Shepard shook her head and smiled. Her people never ceased to amaze her. Cadel, on the other hand, looked very uncomfortable. She walked over to stand beside his bed, joined by Kaidan and Garrus. She glanced at Kaidan, “are you alright?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he gave her a crooked smile. “My head was still a little foggy this morning so I came to get another dose of meds from Chakwas, and she had me hang around to help out.”

“What are you up to?” Garrus asked Cadel, eying the laptop in the Cerberus scientist's lap.

Cadel rolled his pale blue eyes. Shepard noted that they looked a little bloodshot, and his cheeks and eyes were sunken. All in all he looked unhealthy, but determined. Cadel glanced at Stone, who was crouched beside Chakwas, avidly watching what she was showing him on her own computer. “I was told you had an fondness for aliens on this ship,” Cadel grumbled, “But I had no idea to what extent.”

“You're on my ship. You deal with whoever I bring on board,” Shepard warned.

“The rachni are renowned for being indoctrinated. Their brains, as well as their link to each other, make them extremely easy prey for the Reapers. The geth are the same,” Cadel shot Shepard a distrustful look, “I know you have a fondness for them as well.”

Shepard's hands clenched into fists, but she kept her temper under control. It wouldn't do them much good to beat the shit out of the scientist just yet. If his theories turned out to be lies, however, that would be a different matter. He had seen her tolerant, diplomatic side. If she had the chance she'd show off her true feelings on Cerberus bullshit, and it would not be pleasant for Cadel.

The scientist noticed that Garrus was still eying him suspiciously. He held up the laptop. “It's not connected to your ship's network. I can't hack you or anything. I'm just looking over my research. Chakwas was kind enough to set me up.”

Garrus didn't stop glaring, but seemed satisfied. Cadel dipped his head and went back to work, though he shot a few more uneasy glances towards Stone and Chakwas. “If I'm not needed, I think I'll join my crew for breakfast,” Shepard announced to the room in general.

Chakwas waved her arm without looking up from her work. Shepard smiled fondly at her friend and mentor. If she had thought of Anderson as her father, she definitely considered Chakwas to be a mother figure in her life. “Shall we?” she said to Kaidan and Garrus.

Moments later found Shepard seated with Tali on one side and Garrus on the other with Kaidan joining Joker, Gabby and Ken at the other side of the table. They asked her eager questions about the rachni, about what research they might be doing, and about the Cerberus scientist. Shepard deflected most of the questions, not wanting to have rumors flying all over her ship. As Shepard evaded questions and shoveled breakfast rations into her mouth, she watched Tali. Could it be that she had the same genetic 'defect' in her brain that Shepard did? Was it possible that the two women could be the true genetic enemies of the Reapers?

Soon the topics of conversation veered and the dining area was as noisy as ever. Shepard ate and reveled in the sound of her crew. It felt great to have her people all around her. Like being wrapped in a familiar blanket. All her years on earth growing up, her time in the Alliance, she had never managed to be as happy as she felt with her crew on the Normandy. She knew better than to think it could last forever, but she allowed herself to fully enjoy it in the moment.

“Shepard,” Liara was behind her, gently touching Shepard's shoulder.

“Liara! Do you want some breakfast?” Shepard asked, scooting to make room for the asari on the bench.

“Later,” Liara gave Shepard a forced smile.

“What's up?” Shepard stood, though a little to quickly. Her legs twinged dangerously, and she almost fell back onto her seat. Garrus quickly grabbed her arm and kept her upright.

“Can I talk to you in my office?” Liara asked.

“Of course,” Shepard let Garrus help her swing her legs over the bench. He handed her a piece of jellied toast as she moved to follow her asari friend.

Liara led the way to her office. Inside it seemed too quiet. The many screens Liara used to keep track of her Shadow Broker contacts were dead. Glyph, Liara's information drone, hummed a little sadly in one corner, though it did chirp “greetings, Commander” as the two women entered.

“What's up, Liara?” Shepard asked again.

The asari strode over to her hushed monitors and flicked her finger across a control to turn one on. Shepard moved closer, peering over her friend's shoulder. Shepard's eyes widened. “Is that?”

“The Illusive Man's base.” Liara affirmed. She touched thumb and forefinger to the screen and spread them, causing the image to zoom in. There was the Illusive Man's chair. It was overturned. Behind it Shepard could see the body of Kia Leng, still laying where she had left it when she had killed the hated assassin. Shepard could still remember plunging her omni-blade into his side when he tried to strike her from behind.

“It's still in one piece?” Shepard breathed, touching the screen and moving her finger across it to pan around the room. Empty and still.

“Hackett's ships had been attacking it, but pulled back when we got the call that the Citadel had reached earth and the final battle had begun.” Liara explained.

The final battle, Shepard thought. Again, she felt uneasy. Perhaps not so final. “Have you seen anyone there?” she asked.

“Not yet,” Liara sighed, sitting down in her chair, resting her chin in one hand. “I'll keep my eyes on it, that's for certain. It's not as if I have anything else to do.”

“I'm sorry about this, Liara,” Shepard turned at met her friend's eyes.

“We've lost so much, Shepard,” Liara said, her voice tight. “Can we come back from this?”

Shepard sighed, leaning against the desk with her back to the screen. “I don't know Liara. I do know that we can't give up hope. The second we give up is the second we have truly failed.”

“You're always so determined, Shepard,” Liara smiled. This time with smile reached her eyes.

“I was thinking bull-headed,” Shepard corrected playfully.


	9. Recriminations

Part 9  
Recriminations

Shepard stood impatiently in the lift. She held three datapads and was frustratedly trying to read them all at once. She had been holding five, but she'd dropped two, and bending down was painful, so she left them where they had fallen. Her dark brows furrowed together as her eyes flicked from screen to screen. When the lift doors opened she was a little startled at her new location, until she remembered that she had meant to stop in engineering. After breakfast, and her conversation with Liara, she had dropped Garrus off at the main battery, knowing he was keen to get back to work on the ship's guns. It seemed that every time the Normandy saw battle, those blasted things became uncalibrated.

Shepard lost two more of her datapads as she stepped clumsily from the lift. “Shit,” she muttered, kicking them clear of the elevator doors, then continuing on her way. She looked down at the only pad she had managed to keep hold of. The Crucible Project.

“Huh, that worked real well. Fell right into that fucking kid's trap. Is there anything we do that doesn't fit into the Reapers' plans? The Citadel: a trap. The relays: meant to get the Reapers around the galaxy faster. The Crucible was actually part of the god child's plan too.”

“I'm not so sure,”

Shepard jumped. She hadn't realized that she was speaking aloud, or that she had been walking as she did so, so focused was she on her remaining datapad. Tali was standing at a control panel, her bright eyes curious behind her mask. “Not sure?” Shepard asked, limping over to stand beside her friend. She looked over Tali's shoulder and spied a picture of Rannoch on her station's screen. Tali quickly minimized it with a flick of her finger.

“I heard you talking,” the quarian admitted, “about the Crucible, and how you think it was just part of a trap by the 'god child' thing. That entity that was inside the Ciatdel.”

“What about it?” Shepard asked, turning and leaning against the control panel. Tali did the same. For a moment the women listened to the hum of the engines. It seemed to oddly quiet without EDI interrupting to inform the engineers of new information she might have gathered. “Where are Adams, Gabby and Ken?” Shepard realized that the stillness was not merely the absence of EDI.

Tali sighed quietly, adjusting a buckle on her suit. She had a habit of fidgeting when she was unhappy. “They're trying to do some rewiring. Losing EDI hit the Normandy harder than any weapons did. She ran a lot of key systems, and the ship was refitted to accommodate her after the Alliance figured out that they needed you.”

Shepard nodded understandingly. “So what were you saying about the Crucible?”

“I've been looking over the schematics,” the quarian turned and tapped a few buttons on her panel. Several three dimensional images popped up. A mass relay, the Citadel and the Crucible. A few more button taps and the images had divided themselves into cross sections, with key parts separating and becoming larger. “Look at the Citadel and the relay.” Tali swatted her hand across one of the images and it spun so Shepard could examine a point the young engineer pointed out.

“What am I looking at?” Shepard may have been technically minded, but her expertise leaned far more towards hacking and reverse engineering weapons. “Help me out.”

“See here and here?” Tali pointed. “These pieces, the building design, the tech. It's all the same. You can tell it was made at the same time, and with the same technology. But the Crucible...” Tali turned to the last image, starting it rotating with another sweep of her hand. “Look. It's piecemeal. Tech from different eras. Here, this is clearly prothean. These are the parts we added, but over here is a whole section with tech I don't even recognize. Better yet, -here- tech that is clearly very old. As in, several cycles old!”

“So, it wasn't built by the Reapers?” Shepard squinted at the images.

“Well, I don't know if the Reapers themselves made the relays and the Citadel, but certainly they were created in the same cycle, and likely by one race.”

“It makes sense,” Shepard stood back, hands on hips. “I've seen the Leviathon. The creatures that the Reapers first assimilated. They wouldn't use anything like the Citadel. It would have been made by a race more our size, and less deep-space dwelling.”

“Exactly.” Tali nodded, tapping the panel again. The images vanished.

“So what does this mean for us?”

“I'm not sure yet,” Tali said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “But I don't think we have failed as much as we initially thought. If the Crucible was never built by the Reapers, then maybe it was a weapon after all.”

“But it fired, didn't it?” Shepard asked, brows furrowing together. “That's what killed the Reapers, the geth, and EDI.”

“I don't think so,” Tali leaned over the control panel again. I've been communicating with some of my fellow engineers in the Migrant Fleet. Extrapolating images of the shock wave that took out the Reapers. I managed to get some information from the turians as well. I've put the information together and-” a screen appeared and Shepard watched, eyebrows now raised, as it replayed what had happened when she made her fateful choice. To destroy the Reapers. “I've never actually seen this,” Shepard leaned down onto her elbows, her nose close to the video. “I was getting the shit kicked out of me on the Citadel at the time. It looks like the Crucible is firing.”

“It does,” Tali nodded, “but look at this.” She brought up more images, this time of graphs and grids. “Power levels,” the quarian explained. “We registered no spike or reduction in power levels as the Crucible 'fired'” she made air quotations with one finger on each hand and Shepard had to hide her smile. “If the weapon had actually been firing we suspect we would have detected a huge energy spike and then release.”

“So it didn't fire?”

“Does not seem that way.” Tali nodded.

Shepard let her hands clench into fists. “Dammit. I need to get over there and check that out as soon as possible.”

“I agree, Shepard. We have so much to do,” Tali's shoulders sagged.

“I'm sorry,” Shepard said, her voice suddenly hollow. “I let you down. You should be building a house on your home world right now.”

Tali hung her head. “You're right. I should be. The geth should be there, helping us. We finally brokered a peace. You finally...” there was a hitch in Tali's voice.

Shepard reached out, then hesitated, withdrawing her hand, letting it fall back to her side. “This is my fault. I screwed up. I don't know how, but I did. I stranded us all here. If we can't get those relays working we will all eventually starve to death. Not quickly or neatly. Bit by bit. Food will run out it fits and starts because we still have the liveships and earth's crops, but it will run out.”

“You're so cheery,” Tali was looking straight at Shepard, eyes shining with a hint of their old mischief. “I never said I blamed you for this! It's bad that we are trapped here, and you're right that I should be on Rannoch figuring out where I want the dining room to go, but I'm not, and it's not your fault. It's the Reapers fault.”

Shepard gave Tali a wan smile. Normally Shepard was eager to point out when the blame should fall on the giant death-machines from space, but in that moment, she wasn't so sure. She couldn't shake the feeling that she had done something wrong. This was her fault, she just didn't know how yet. Her only hope was to set it right. She couldn't let Tali know how she felt. A strong outward appearance was all Shepard had left. “So you're people are working on repairing the relays?”

“Yes,” Tali nodded, her tone lighter. “We're the best in the galaxy! If we can't repair them, who can?”

“Exactly,” Shepard smiled.

“I've personally been overseeing the work on the geth and EDI.”

“Is EDI's body...her platform, still aboard the Normandy?” Shepard asked, jerking her head up.

“She is,” Tali said. “In another section of engineering. Do you want to see her?”

“Yes.”

Tali led the way. The small room they entered was dimly lit, so at first Shepard did not realize that there was anyone there besides the two of them and EDI's body, laying prone on a work table. Then Shepard heard someone speaking on low tones. “I played poker with James Vega and Kaidan today. James won, again. Still, I didn't do as badly as Kaidan. He really shouldn't play that game. Too honest of a face.”

“Joker?” Shepard asked.

“Lights,” said Tali and the illumination turned on.

Joker sat on the other side of the table, holding EDI's hand. He looked up at the two women with a mixture of annoyance and surprise. “Shepard. Tali.”

“Jeff, I'm sorry,” Shepard said quickly. “I didn't know you were in here, I just wanted to see EDI.”

“Right. I'll get out of your way.” Joker stood and shuffled awkwardly towards the door. As he passed her Shepard touched his arm, but he pulled away, tugging his hat brim down with his other hand as he left.

“Jeff,” Shepard called after him, but he didn't give any sign that he had heard her. Her heart felt like a cold stone. If she had felt guilty before, she felt doubly so now. She was causing her crew pain. What captain would do that to her people? She chewed her lip, trying to focus on the problem at hand. She would talk to Joker as soon as she could.

“I've been trying to figure out what caused EDI to deactivate.” Tali was saying, picking up a tool. She opened a panel in EDI's chest. Shepard felt oddly intrusive looking at the circuits and mechanisms inside her AI friend's body.

“I was told it had something to do with the Reaper tech the Illusive Man used on her,” Shepard crossed her arms to keep out of the way.

“Actually, the Reaper tech is a hold-over. Dr Eva, you remember her?”

“The bitch that beat the shit out of Kaidan? Yes, I recall her,” Shepard gritted her teeth.

“Her body had a lot of Reaper tech in it.” Tali explained, tinkering absently inside EDI's body cavity.

“Why wasn't EDI's consciousness saved by the Normady's backups, if it was only the body that had Reaper tech?” Shepard asked.

“That's what I wondered for a long time,” Tali said, looking up. “But Ken discovered something in the ship as well. Someone placed Reaper tech in EDI's core systems. It's very well disguised. I'm sure she didn't know it was there.”

“What was the purpose of that tech?” Shepard asked.

“I think it was meant to act like the geth indoctrination. To make EDI work for the Reapers behind our backs. However, the program I found was not sufficient to indoctrinate a true AI. If she hadn't been unshackled, she likely would have turned on us all.”

“I'll have to tell Joker,” Shepard mumbled, squinting at Tali's work, still feeling a bit like she was looking at someone's guts.

“I still have not figured out why she won't reactivate, however,” Tali sighed. “I've tried everything I can think of. Same with the geth. We should be able to reactivate them. It should be simple enough, but for some reason every attempt is failing.”

“You'll get it, Tali,” Shepard said, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder.

“Thanks Shepard. And...I just wanted to be say: if I had to be trapped anywhere, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad it's aboard the Normandy. Rannoch may be my home planet, but the Normandy is my home, and you are my captain.”

Shepard felt her face go warm as her feelings conflicted. Tali looked up to her, and the quarian did not admire or trust people easily. Still, what sort of captain was she really? Was her crew really so blind to her failings? She raised her chin and smiled confidently. “Thanks, Tali. It means everything to have your support, and your brilliant mind at work.”

Tali dipped her head. Shepard knew the gesture. Modesty after a compliment. Shepard did feel a little spark of confidence return. She knew her alien crew-members well enough to read their body language. He couldn't be the galaxy's worst captain? Maybe only the second worst.

“Commander!” an urgent voice piped over the comm and both Shepard and Tali jumped.

“Traynor? What is it?” Shepard barked.

“You had better get to the commend center, Ma'am!”

“Just tell me,” Shepard said, already walking as fast as she could, Tali keeping place.

“They've located Major Kirrahe, ma'am.”

“They have? Is he alive? Injured? Report, dammit!”

“Ma'am, just please come to the command center.”

Shepard made an audible growl as they reached the lift doors. She smacked the button to summon it as though it was the panel's fault that the lift was so sluggish. When the doors opened Kaiden was standing there, confusedly holding the datapads Shepard had dropped. “About face,” she ordered him, “we're heading to the command center.” her tone was militray and clipped.

Kaidan changed the elevator's destination, then turned to Shepard and Tali, his eyebrow raised. The two women didn't supply him with any information.

“Alright, report!” Shepard strode onto the command deck without so much as a hitch in her step. She didn't even register the pain that shot up her legs.

Traynor turned from her station and indicated a video display. Shepard's eyes widened as she saw the figure on the display. A man, about Shepard's age, with a tough, scarred face and short blonde hair. His blue eyes were fierce as ever, and he wore a red bandana around his neck. “Richter,” Shepard breathed.

“Who?” Kaidan asked.

“This is a prerecorded message for you, commander,” Traynor explained, pressing the play button and stepping back, arms wrapped around herself and looking nervous.

The man on the screen began speaking. “Lori... or is it Commander? Do you make all your men call you that? I've got someone here who says he knows you, Lori. Says that you might want him back.”

The scene panned back and Shepard saw several other humans standing around a lean, oddly shaped figure tied awkwardly to a chair. “Kirrahe,” Shepard breathed.

“Listen up, Lori, and listen good. We don't like this situation you got us into. So you're going to come have a chat with us. Humans only. No bringing any of your alien crew. I'm sending you coordinates. Be there in two days or your salarian won't be so alive any more.”

Shepard blinked, completely stunned. It felt like someone had kicked her metaphorical feet out from under her. Her breath came in short hitches.

“Who was that?” asked Tali, an edge to her voice, detectable even through her suit's comm system.

“An old boyfriend,” Shepard whispered.


	10. Earth-Born

Part 10  
Earth-Born

The most dangerous thing about running with a gang wasn't the police. It was the other gangs. The Reds had a few enemies in other youth gangs which either supported alien rights, or hated The Reds for less substantial reasons. Shepard had participated in several battles against rival gangs in her time. She taken a bullet graze to her shoulder in one such skirmish, and had worn the scar proudly. Now there were many scars beside that one, and the moment of it's acquisition was almost forgotten.

The Reds had been trading poor attempts at subtle sniping with a rival gang called The Spirits, which fancied themselves turian lovers. Shepard guess that the gang had known little to nothing about turians, but they wore their hair spiked back like a fringe and painted their faces. Some even taped their fingers together to look as though they only had two on each hand. The Reds hated everything to do with The Spirits.

Shepard had been 14, and second in command of The Reds. Their leader was a brash, wild, and unstable 19 year old named Blaze. He was renowned for his lack of mercy and tendency toward seemingly random hate crimes. He had plans for the gang, however. He had lofty goals for them, claiming that one day they would be one of earth's most powerful gangs. Everyone feared and admired Blaze. Shepard, while somewhat unpredictable herself, had a natural affinity for structure, tactics, and logic. While Blaze was shouting about his hatred, Shepard was the mind organizing all the attacks.

She was put in charge of a planning for a large skirmish. She'd plotted out a kill-sack. An old warehouse, with perfect vantage points for them to snipe The Spirits from above. They would lure The Spirits into the trap, then massacre them. Cripple them so badly that they would never be able to rebuild. Everything was perfect. The setup was flawless. What Shepard couldn't predict was that one of The Reds would defect. He warned The Spirits about the ambush, so they laid a trap of their own. What should have been a swift and decisive blow against The Spirits, turned into an ugly, confusing, and bloody battle.

Shepard soon found herself fighting on the floor of the warehouse. She was supposed to be in the rafters, sniping, but she'd been driven down to the floor. Her weapon had overheated, and her lack of battle experience had caused her to drop it in surprise. Someone else scooped it up before she could react, and she'd been forced to run for cover before the weapon cooled and she was shot full of holes. As it was, she took a deep graze to the shoulder. She'd never actually been shot before. It was startling, the pain and the heat of her own blood. She hadn't expected it to hurt so much, or to make her so angry. It was like someone lit a fire inside her chest. She covered behind a fallen metal beam until she heard her weapon overheat again. Counting on the relative inexperience of the child who was attacking her, she acted. He'd been young. Perhaps only her age.

She launched herself over her hiding place and towards the boy. He looked up as she charged. His face was covered in smeared war paint. Shepard's rage flooded from her and she tackled him. He yelped, almost like a puppy, as she took her fists to him, beat him senseless and recovered her weapon, just in time to shoot one of the boy's friends who was running in her direction.

She heard someone yelling for help. She scanned the battlefield. She was young, this was her first real battle, and she was unused to assessing combat situations. However, her brain was very quick when it came to learning on the fly. Reading and writing had challenged her, but she never learned as well from books as from experience. Sometimes it felt like her mind was flying along at 100 miles per hour, where as the words on the page merely crawled along.

Her dark eyes took in the warehouse. It would have seemed chaos to the casual viewer, but she could make sense of it. For the most part The Reds were winning. It was far bloodier than intended, but they were winning. Then she spied the person who had yelled. A young man, perhaps a few years older than she, was being cornered by three Spirits. She couldn't remember the boy's name, but he was on her side, and he was in trouble, so she went after him. She had the advantage. She had a gun. While most youth gangs were armed, it was difficult to get your hands on firearms. The Reds were lucky to have the arsenal that they did.

Shepard made her first kill, and then her second and third, in rapid succession. The boy she had saved looked up at her with horror on his face, mingling with the blood splattered from his fallen foes. It took Shepard's brain a moment to catch up. She wasn't used to that. She had never killed anyone before. Her mind seemed to lock up. She just stood, smoking gun in her hands, staring at the bodies.

She little noticed as she was slammed to earth by the boy she had saved. Shots flew over their heads. Shepard's head hit the floor with an ugly crack, and she mercifully passed out.

Later she had woken to the sound of shouting. She turned her aching head to see that she was back at The Reds HQ. Blaze was screaming at...that boy she'd saved. He was easily dwarfed by the much older boy, but he was standing his ground. Blaze threatened, waved his arms, and swore. Shepard had learned most of her favorite cussing from Blaze. It took her fogged, aching mind, time to realize that Blaze was screaming about her. How she'd failed the mission. How it was her fault they'd lost so many people. The boy she saved was standing up for her. Staring Blaze down. Not letting the older boy reach Shepard to personally bawl her out (and also beat her up).

Blaze eventually shouted himself out. Shepard noticed that their leader was bleeding as well, and it was probably Blaze's wounds that saved the younger boy from getting the shit kicked out of him. He'd come over to see her, where she lay on her bed made out of crates and an old mattress.

“My name is Richter,” he'd said.

Shortly after that she and Richter became a couple. Also following that day, Shepard began having nightmares. Her dreams were always filled with visions of her first kills, until greater trauma came to replace those visions with even more horrors.

~~~~~

“I'll inform the Alliance,” said Traynor, calmly. “They'll round up this Richter fellow and soon have Major Kirrahe back.”

“No,” Shepard was still staring at the frozen image of the man's face.

“Commander?” Traynor asked, stopping with her fingers hovering over the button she was about to press.

“He wants to see me, I'll go. I can talk him down. If we send in the Alliance it'll get ugly. I'll take James and Kaiden. We'll settle this.”

“Shepard, are you sure?” Tali asked, concern clear in her voice.

“I can do this little thing,” Shepard said, a creeping weariness in her tone. She was tired of being injured, and tired of feeling guilty. Better to have her boots on the ground and see to situations herself. “Suit up, Kaiden. Traynor, inform Mr. Vega. We're going planet side in twenty.”

“Yes Ma'am,” Traynor said. She knew better than to argue, even if she didn't sound completely happy with the situation.

Shepard turned and expected Tali to try to stop her. Convince her not to go. Instead, the quarian simply dipped her head in a respectful gesture. “I'll be in engineering, communicating with the Migrant Fleet. With any luck, we'll have this whole situation sorted by the time you get back.”

Shepard headed for the lower decks again, intent on suiting up in her armor. It struck her that her usual armor had been incinerated by the Reaper blast. Her lip curled in annoyance as she looked over he choices. She had always favored black and blood red as her personal colors. She looked over the uniform, grey, suits, trying to decide which would fit best.

“Shepard?” Garrus' voice startled her.

She cursed under her breath. She had been hoping to be off the ship by the time someone told Garrus she was going. “Tali?” she asked, picking up a helmet and trying it on. It felt too big, but then she remembered she had less hair now.

“Tali didn't say anything,” Garrus assured her. “It was Joker.”

“Dammit, Jeff,” Shepard growled, electing a chest plate and trying it against her chest. Too much space in the breast area. Shepard shook her head. She had always been muscular and lean rather than well endowed.

“He's worried about you,” Garrus said, walking up beside her. “When were you going to tell me?”

“When I got back, at the earliest,” Shepard admitted, not making eye contact with her mate.

“Didn't I just get a lecture last night about keeping things from you?” his tone still sounded playful, rather than upset.

“Whose ship is this again?” She gave him a smile.

“Whose mate for life am I again?” he helped her buckle on the shoulder pauldron.

“You alright with me going?” she asked, sitting down and loosening the straps on her leg braces.

“Well, I was until now. What are you doing?” He demanded, kneeling and stopping her hands with his own.

“I can't wear these under my armor.”

“You can if you wear a few sizes too big.” he went and picked out new greaves for her.

“Are you kidding? I'll drown in those,” she waved her hand dismissively.

“You can't walk around all day without the braces,” Garrus raised an eyebrow scale.

“I think I can. I mean, the armor braces my legs somewhat. I'll just take an extra pain pill and be fine.” She finished with the brace and tugged it free of her scarred limb, tossing it father than she needed to. The hated piece of metal and leather skittering across the floor. She began working at the other.

“Shepard,” Garrus warned. “This is going to set you back! You could do permanent damage to yourself.”

“Garrus, they're my legs,” she snapped, sending the other brace flying. “I'll be fine.”

Garrus put the too-large greaves he had found for her back on the rack. He gave her a hard look. “You can't keep doing this. You can't keep up this woman-of-steel routine.”

“Even if it's working?” The words felt strangely bitter on her tongue.

“Even then,” Garrus sounded weary. He rubbed the back of his neck.

“The galaxy can't see those,” she gestured towards the leg braces. “They have to see this.” She stood up. Her legs protested, but not as badly as she had feared.

“Shepard, you know better than anyone how messed up I am,” he tried a different tactic. “That's one of the things that drew us together. We're messed up. Mentally. Physically. If I can admit that-”

“I can too,” Shepard finished, her voice hard. “I shouldn't be a big hero. I shouldn't be leading the Victory Fleet. I'm the one that got them stuck here in the first place. I don't have a choice, Garrus. This,” she gestured to herself, now fully armored in the plain grey, “This is who I am to them. You know the other side of me, but this is who I have to be today.”

Garrus seemed to understand. He shook his head none the less. “I wish I could go with you. I understand why I can't, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to have your back, always.”

“You're my mate now,” she gave him a wan smile. “You always have my back, I know that.”

“Are you ready Commander?” Taynor's voice on the intercom.

“I'll be right there,” Shepard responded, selecting her weapons.

“Wait,” Garrus walked into an alcove, where the crew's preferred arms were kept for easy access. He returned and held something out to Shepard.

“Oh, Garrus, are you sure?” Shepard gently took the elegant sniper rifle.

“I think Vera will be safe with you,” Garrus said. “And she'll keep you safe.”

“Thank you, love!” Shepard exclaimed. She stood on tiptoe and kissed Garrus. Then she left the bay, heading for the shuttle. She was careful not to limp.

~~~~~

Shepard felt the familiar rattle and pitch as the shuttle hit atmo. “Those coordinates your buddy gave us have us setting down in Bath,” Steve called back from his position in the pilot seat.

“I didn't know The Reds were a British gang,” said Kaidan, who sat with his helmet between his knees, like a soldier in a crowded transport rather than a roomy shuttle.

“They're not,” said Shepard. “We originated in Chicago. I even had a little bit of an accent for a while. Either the gang has gotten a lot bigger, or they came over to the Isles for another reason.”

“We're almost to the landing site. Any last instructions?” Steve asked.

“Be cautious,” Shepard said, watching as Kaidan and James put on their helmets and readied their weapons. “We're far from a Reaper corpse, but you never know who may have been exposed to the indoctrination before the krogan quarantined the areas. Also, don't trust The Reds. They may have been my old gang, but I said goodbye to them a long time ago.”

“I couldn't have pictured you running with a gang, Lola,” chuckled James as he checked his rifle's heat clip. “That is, until I tried to box with you. You bare-knuckle like a pro.”

“Been fighting all my life,” she could resist a cocky smile as the shuttle doors opened and the air of earth came rushing in. She didn't have the face-mask down on her helmet, and got a nose-full. She smiled. One thing she still missed about being planet-side. The air on the Normandy was too purified. Too recycled and processed. The air on earth was full of dust. Stagnant and beautiful smells filled her nose at the same time. She was almost distracted from the armed people who stood, awaiting her.

The Reds look good, she thought as she eyed their greeting comity. They had uniform armor and weapons, though both men sported a red bandana each. One had it tied around his upper arm, the other around the barrel of his weapon. At first the men seemed unsure as she and her fellow soldiers stepped from the shuttle.

“I'm Commander Shepard,” Shepard announced. She knew she looked like a fresh-out-of-training recruit in her grey armor.

The two men glanced at one another, uncertain. Shepard sighed, then reached into the collar of her armor and pulled her tags free, letting them rest against her chest. Beaten, battered, but still clearly N7 tags. This seemed enough for the men to make a decision. “This way,” one of them said, jerking his head to the left, then turning to walk.

Shepard gave Steve a quick nod before she and her friends followed the two men.

The structure they were led to looked as though it had been some sort of government building, abandoned when the war parked itself on earth. It was still fairly intact, Shepard noticed. Only one of the large windows was shattered, though a few had cracks.

Inside they were ushered to a side-room. Shepard noticed that no one asked her for her weapons. She couldn't help by raise an eyebrow. They were very confident. Either in that she would not attack, or that they could subdue her easily. Either way, they were probably wrong, she though, scanning the room, the exits, and the people they passed. She could feel Kaidan and James flanking her so closely that they were almost touching her. Ready to follow the slightest cue she might give them.

“Lori!”

Shepard's dark eyes snapped up to meet two hazel ones across the room. “So it really is you,” she observed, a slight smile on her face. “What happened to Blaze?”

“Dead,” Richter waved his had, dismissively. “Which you would know if you ever kept in contact.” Shepard knew he was being playful. Richter was seldom serious, at least when she knew him.

“What are The Reds doing in Britain?” Shepard asked.

“Came to fight,” Richter shrugged. “Our planet was in danger. Everyone with a gun came to help out.”

“I hate ruin this reunion with business, but I believe you have one of my men?” Shepard asked, careful to hide any hint of tenseness in her voice. The muscles in her legs were already starting to throb. Was it from standing, or from being ready to move at any moment?

Richter's face hardened, “Right down to business. You really are the great Commander Shepard. The one on all the cereal boxes. The one all the kids want to be.”

“I'm quite an example,” Shepard replied sarcastically. “My man?” she pressed.

“Not exactly a man,” said Richter. He had a handsome face. Rounded, with well proportioned features and bright eyes. Now it twisted with disgust. “Is it true, what I've been hearing? You're the reason all these alien races are on earth?”

“I am,” Shepard said, her tone firm. “I see you haven't changed your opinion about them, even if they did help save this planet.”

“Yeah, that went really well,” sarcasm dripped from Richter's words. “Now they're all here. Eating our food, taking up our space. Even if they all leave tomorrow, we'll have a lot more to rebuild because of them, here, using our resources. That's what I wanted to talk about. We, the residents of earth, would like to be given first priority.”

“So you would see other species starve so that we can fill our bellies a little more?” Kaidan spoke over Shepard's shoulder.

Richter seemed surprised, locking eyes with the biotic. “You're a human too. You want to see your planet stripped and left to die?”

“I'll tell you what I don't want to see. Starving asari. Emaciated krogan. You don't want to see that either, because krogan dying of hunger will eat just about anything. Including you.” Kaidan said before Shepard raised her hand slightly and he fell silent.

“My man,” Shepard said again, enunciating each word as though speaking to someone who was a little slow.

Richter rolled his eyes. “All business, eh Lori? You used to be more fun,” he gave her a playful wink.

She ignored it. Richter had been a fun boyfriend. Joking, but intelligent. She wasn't surprised he had become the leader after Blaze's death. Richter had always been charismatic. Even when they were young the older children had looked on Shepard and Richter as the unofficial leaders of The Reds. She hadn't really discussed her leaving for the military with Richter. Just informed him one day that they could no longer be a couple. She still felt a bit guilty about that.

Richter gestured and one of his cronies pushed a button. The far wall of the room, it turned out, was a false one. It folded itself away with a mechanical whirr. There was Kirrahe, still strapped to the chair, slumped in what was either unconsciousness or death. It took a lot of will power not to rush to the salarian's side. Shepard kept her cool. “I need to check him. If he's dead, all negotiations are off.”

“Fine,” Richter gestured with his arm.

Shepard shot her men a 'lag behind me' glance, then strode forward, even as her legs protested. She showed no outward hint of her pain as she approached the salarian. The chair her friend had been strapped to was too small for him. His long legs were splayed awkwardly to the sides. Gently she lifted his chin with one hand, her omni-tool springing to life on the other. Life signs. She exhaled gratefully. “Kirrahe? Major, can you hear me?”

The salarian's bruised eyes did not open. There was dried blood around his thin lips. She wasn't sure of what other injuries he might have.

“You're done,” said Richter, stepping forward.

Just as Shepard as about to move away, Kirrahe's lips moved fractionally, and his eyes opened in twin slits. He spoke one word, very softly, so only she could hear. “Trap.”


	11. Trap

Part 11  
Trap

Shepard felt her muscles tighten briefly, but she quickly forced them to relax again. She gave Kirrahe the most fractional of nods. His bruised eyelids closed again and Shepard let her fingers slip from under the salarian's chin. He slumped, limply, in his chair. Shepard turned to look Richter up and down. Her mind, eager to have a tactical situation to think on, went to work with a surge of pleasure. She hadn't seen many of Richter's men, and those she had seen were coordinated and well armed. Why would he conceal the rest of his people? Two reasons sprang into her mind. The first was that he wanted to keep them in reserve, high and in the rear, waiting to catch her by surprise. The other reason was more likely. That he did not have the man-power, or the equipment, to make a good showing, so he hoped for the she would assume the first possibility was true.

This was a dangerous game, she thought as her dark eyes gave the room another quick scan. Featureless, no windows or doors, which meant to ready exits. “So, Richter,” she decided open the conversation again. The longer she could keep him talking, the more information she could gather. “I've seen my man, and he's alive, if barely. How to suggest we proceed?”

Richter gave her a calculating look. Did he remember how tactically minded she was? His look was distrustful, but somehow hopeful. “As I said, we demand representation for humans. I seems you're in charge now. I've seen the broadcasts.”

“Did you also see the council of other races around me?” she reminded him, moving to place herself back amongst her men. Vega seemed oblivious to the potential danger they were in, but she could feel how tense Kaidan was.

“Riiiiight,” Richter folded his arms, raising a, eyebrow at her. “Any fool could see who is really pulling the strings. Really calling the shots. I always knew you had humanity's best interest in your heart, Lori. You got us a seat on the council. You joined Cerberus to save our colonies. Now you have every race in the galaxy eating out of the palm of your hand.”

Shepard knew what he was doing. He was trying to goad her. Piss her off. He knew she had a temper. Unfortunately, it was working. “That's bullshit, and you know it, Ric. I didn't join Cerberus, I was rebuilt by them after I died! I saved the Destiny Ascension, with the council on board, from Saren. Are those the acts of a xenophobe?”

Richter smirked. “So you would do anything to save your little green-blooded buddies out there? You'd let humans die?”

“I'm trying not to let anyone die,” Shepard growled. She was losing focus. She knew she should have been scanning the room, looking for signs of the predicted trap. Instead she was letting Richter get under her skin. “I think you know that.”

“Do I?” Richter asked. “You're looking great, by the way, Lori. I had forgotten how beautiful you were.” He stepped towards her, closing the space between them.

“What the hell does that have to do with-” Even as she spoke she knew what he'd done. “Fu...” The word didn't finish forming before the drug he'd injected into her with, (needle jabbed into the gap in her armor at her inner elbow) took effect. She was out before she hit the floor.

~~~~~

“Fuck.”

“Agreed.”

Shepard forced her mind to respond. Everything was swimming before her eyes. So she closed them, concentrating on her other senses. She was seated, arms bound behind her back, legs bound at her ankles. She was sitting on the floor, she guessed, and she was leaned against someone. If only her mind would clear she could recognize the voice. “Who?” her mouth felt like someone had filled it with cotton. She wished she could reach the canteen at her belt.

“Major Kirrahe,” the person whose back she sat against answered.

“Kirrahe? You alright?”

“I've been better,” his voice sounded as dry as her mouth felt.

“What's going on, do you know?” Shepard was starting to piece together her short term memory, which was coming to her in fits and starts. “Was I just bushwhacked?”

“Sadly, it seems so,” the salrian said, shifting awkwardly.

“Crap,” she sighed. “So Richter got the jump on me. What about my men?”

“The biotic took a bit to put down,” Kirrahe explained. “Kaidan, wasn't it? I think I worked with him on Vermire.”

“You did,” Shepard twisted her wrists in their bindings. What a pity it wasn't rope, but metal cuffs that held her. “They took him down, though?”

“Managed to get some drugs in him, yeah,” Kirrahe sighed. “They left you in here with me. I think because we're he best bargaining chips. Don't know what they are planning for your men.”

“Wonderful,” she scanned the room. Her vision was finally coming back into focus. They were blocked away in the smaller, half-room, with the false wall back in place. The room was empty, and dimly lit. It smelled like industrial floor cleaner. “I can't believe he got the better of me like that.”

“I know you have talked your way out of some tight situations,” said Kirrahe, “but when people think Commander Shepard, they don't think 'diplomat'. They think running and gunning. They think combat prowess.”

“Was that meant to make me feel better?” she asked, ruefully.

“It was an attempt, yes,” there was a hitch in Kirrahe's voice as he spoke.

“Hey, what's up?” Shepard asked.

“I'm a little beat up,” he confided. “They haven't been overly cruel to me, but I took him hits in the Reaper battle that haven't been seen to.”

“Right. And here I came to save your ass and ended up in the same position as you.” Shepard sighed, squirming her feet around in their equally restrictive bonds.

“So it would seem. At least I'm not tied to that chair any longer,” he pointed out. “Human furniture was never meant to accommodate salarian physiology.”

“Sorry about that,” Sheard said between gritted teeth.

“Not your fault,” Kirrahe gave a chuckle, which turned into a dry cough. He cleared his throat, “so, you knew these humans?”

“I used to run with them as a kid. I didn't have any family, so I wound up on the streets, then in a gang.”

“Your species allows their females to do that?” Kirrahe asked.

At first Shepard was confused. Was he saying that women couldn't survive in gangs? He'd seen her fight, so that couldn't be it. Then she recalled that in salarian culture females were more rare, and all were treated with respect. Most Salarian leadership on the highest levels was female.

Kirrahe sensed her hesitation, “I should clarify. Do humans value their females so little that they would allow a female child to be on the streets in the first place? Had you been a salarian, you would have been taken in and raised by the others. We do not have family units, as humans do. The lack of your parents would have mattered very little.”

“Pity I wasn't raised salarian,” Shepard smiled, “it would have saved me quite a few cold nights. What about the males?”

“Well,” Kirrahe hesitated. “There are so many more of us, you see. We tend to end up falling through the cracks at times, yes. There are groups of males that you might call 'gangs' which do cause problems on our worlds. Not to mention those that join mercenaries.”

Shepard had a thought, “Kirrahe, do you know what is going on outside. That we won?”

“They have been keeping me informed. I think my captors found it humorous to feed me information about the world while keeping me locked away until they could enact their plan. They seemed to think a great deal of you.”

“Only because I'm human. It really doesn't have much to do with me,” Shepard gnawed her lip as she thought. Her mind was coming fully awake now, and kicking up into overdrive. She was furious at herself for letting Richter distract her and get her temper going so easily. She tried to push those thoughts out of the way to make room for a plan of escape.

“I think it is more than your being a human that draws them to you. They always had pride in their voices when they told me about your exploits. You came from them. As misguided as they might be, I think they are proud of you, as a family would be.”

Shepard's mind suddenly lost all focus. Memories flooded in. Cold nights on earth made warm by spending them with her new friends. She didn't relish the criminal acts, as some did, but participated for the thrill of being part of something. A member of a team. Even if she did not always agree with their actions.

Kirrahe seemed to sense she was drifting. “Shepard? We need to come up with a plan. I didn't think my chances of escape were good when I was alone, but now I've got hope.”

It took Shepard a few moments to ground herself back in the real world. Sometimes she felt like Thane, unable to forget. Especially the darkest moments of her past. She could remember joy when she tried, but the memories at the forefront of her mind were always of death. They waiting like predators, just under the surface, for her medication to wear off. Anticipating her dreams. She shook her head jerkily, “Right. Plan. Any thoughts?”

“I've had a few, but they all depend on one of us developing immense strength,” he chuckled.

“Sadly I won't be much good for that. I'm still a little beat up from my dance with the devil.”

“Your what?”

“Facing off against the Reapers. A tailor on the Citadel found me under a pile of rubble. I'm not in tip top condition.” Shepard admitted.

“To be honest I was a little surprised to hear you were alive. I shouldn't have been. You always turn up alive,” she could hear the smile in his voice. “When you showed up on Sur'Kesh I wasn't even confused. Of course you would be there. You always show up where you're needed.”

“Thanks,” Shepard said, feeling a little embarrassed. Being praised wasn't her thing. Then an idea struck her. “Kirrahe, can you tell if I still have my Omni-tool?”

She felt Kirrahe's long fingers fumble against her wrists, searching for the Omni-tool generator clipped to her armor. He twisted, making both of them uncomfortable. Just as Shepard was beginning to worry about her shoulders, he sat back into place. “You do,” said Kirrahe, a little breathlessly. “Are you thinking of your Omni-blade? The way they have us bound, if you activated it, you'd chop my hands off. I'd rather you didn't do that.”

“I'm sure you would,” Shepard agreed, sticking out her tongue as she tried to creep her own fingers towards the tool, with no success. “If the bindings on our hands are the same as on our legs, I have an idea. They look a lot like what I have seen C-sec use. Electronic cuffs. When I was on Sur'Kesh Mordin-” her voice hitched just saying his name. For a moment her mind was inundated with images of him walking towards that tower. To his death. He had stopped, taken her hand, briefly. She shook her head. Stay on track! “Mordin used an electrical surge to...get his point across with an unwilling scientist.”

“Yes,” agree Kirrahe, already moving to reach for her Omni-tool again. “An old STG trick. I can easily make your tool do the same, if I can just reach it.”

He pulled Shepard's arms higher and she had to clamp her teeth down on her lip to keep quiet. She knew it couldn't be comfortable for him either. She could hear little catches in his breathing as he worked. Finally, just as Shepard's eyes were beginning to water, he slumped back into position with a pained sigh. The ache in Shepard's shoulders lessened, and she was able to feel the sting in her wrists where the cuffs had cut her skin. “Any luck?”

“I think so,” Kirrahe said, breathily. “For a salarian I am woefully poor at this sort of thing.”

“Reprogramming an Omni-tool behind your back with your hands cuffed? I think you're forgiven for not being the best,” she said, nudging his shoulder with hers.

“When I activate the jolt it will likely short the cuffs, but we'll also get a dose of electricity.” Kirrahe warned.

“Right,” Shepard nodded, focusing her eyes straight ahead. She could always bear up better if she knew the pain was coming. “I'm ready.”

Kirrahe pulled her arms back into the painful position, and a moment later electricity surged through her body. Her teeth were already gnashed together, and the surge tightened her jaw muscles, so not a sound escaped her. Her hands fell free to her sides, the orange glow of her Omni-tool reflecting off her armor. She quickly moved to use the electricity on the cuffs around her ankles, which didn't seem to have gotten enough of a jolt the first time to come apart.

Before she could reach there was a sound from outside the room, and the false wall began lifting. Hastily Shepard turned off her Omni-tool, pulling her hands behind her back again. With dismay she felt Kirrahe sag against her, almost falling to the side. He'd passed out. She hoped the electricity hadn't harmed him too much. Could his heart have been weakened from his injuries or dehydration? She didn't dare check, but used her elbows to prop him back in place against her back. If he fell it would be clear that they were no longer shackled together.

The false wall opened and Richter was standing there, flanked by two armed gang members and “You,” Shepard breathed, hate boiling in her chest.

“Me,” smirked Khalisan Ben Sina.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Shepard asked, her voice low and dangerous.

“Why, getting an interview, of course. Actually, I'm quite lucky. I got off the Citadel just in time. Your friends here have been very understanding, and very helpful to me getting the first-hand news from earth. Of course, I always have the best interest of humanity at heart.”

“How do you plan on helping humanity today?” Shepard asked between clenched teeth. Keep calm. Don't let yourself get flustered, remember what happened last time, her mind reminded her. She took a few, long breaths. Kirrahe almost slipped.

“Well, it seems that the humans of earth are being marginalized on their own planet, and that just will not fly,” said the reporter with a smile that held as much venom as a snake's. “So the Reds were kind enough to get a hold of you. A little attention grabber, if you will. Of course, at first they didn't seem to believe you would come to rescue the salarian they found. Seems they thought you were too clever for that.”

Shepard took her eyes from Khalisan and watched Richter. He seemed out of his element, shifting from foot to foot. Could it be he wasn't the mastermind behind this after all? He'd put on a good show before, but had he been lying? He wouldn't meet her eyes. “So, you want an interview? What am I supposed to say, how much I love the humans who have captured me?” Shepard asked, her voice cold.

“No no,” grinned Khalisan. “It's very simple. We've got the most valuable hostage in the galaxy.”

“And the galaxy is going to kick your ass for this,” Shepard raised an eyebrow. “Are you really that stupid?”

“Of course not. While you slept, the coordinates we sent to your ship have self-destructed, taking a little of your computer's memory with it as well, if all goes has planned.” Shepard cursed under her breath. EDI would have spotted the sabotage at once. “And we have your shuttle pilot. He did give us a bit of trouble, but we...won him over in the end.”

“Steve is a non-com! He doesn't fight! Did you hurt him?” Shepard demanded.

Richter looked decidedly uneasy. “Not bad. We just knocked him out. Did a bit of damage to your shuttle, though it'll fly again.”

“Stop talking to her,” snapped Kahlisan.

Shepard kept her eyes on Richter, “If you hurt my people, so help me-”

“Lovely sentiment, Shepard,” purred Kahlisan, who had begun setting up her video drone and mic. “Truly inspiring, for someone who has doomed her people to have their resources systematically stolen by aliens. The aliens you trapped here when you did...whatever you did on the Citadel.”

“Defeated the Reapers,” Shepard growled, her dark eyes flicking for a moment from Richter to he loathed reporter.

“Well, out of the frying pan and into the fire,” smirked Kahlisan, tossing the video drone into the air, where it hovered, its lens focusing and unfocusing as it ran quick diagnostics on itself.

“You don't think the Reapers strolling around on our home-world was the fire?” Shepard spat.

“That fire may have been immediate, but the one we're in now is slow burning and just as deadly,” the reporter smoothed the front of her dress, then moved to stand in before her drone. Her voice became formal and clipped, “this is Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, coming to you live from earth. Humans of the Sol system, our rights are being infringed! These alien races which have been “trapped” here by the malfunctioning relays, are exhausting our resources, and our patience. What will it take, humanity, to get someone to pay attention? What about this?” Khalisah stepped aside to reveal Shepard, who gave the camera her best glare. “If our demands will not be heard, we will make ourselves heard! See how the mighty have fallen? We have your Shepard, captured by this man-” she gestured for Richter to step into the frame.

Shepard wasn't sure if he was just nervous, or if he moved closer to her on purpose. Was he giving her an out? Whatever the reason, he shuffled over to stand in front of her, but close enough to... This is going to hurt. Shepard kicked, her freed hands supporting her as she swept Richter's legs out from under him. He went down like a surprised sack of flower. Shepard let out a yelp as her legs contacted with his. Even through the armor, her bones did not appreciate the jolt.

They also didn't appreciate her quick motion to free her ankles. A brief surge of electricity ran through her, and luckily, Richter as well. She had time to grab him, hauling his confused form in front of her and snatching his weapon from its holster. She pointed it at his head. “This interview is over.”

Khalisah blinked, totally taken aback by Shepard's swift movements. Richter's men looked flat out flummoxed. They shifted from foot to foot, not even raising their weapons. “Kill the salarian!” Khalisah shouted.

“No!” snapped Shepard. Her voice carried so much commanding force that Richter's men hesitated, weapons half ready to murder Kirrahe, who had fallen to the floor without Shepard to lean against.

“Shepard, think about this. Let Mr. Worthy go, and we may not shoot your alien friend.” Khalisah curled her lip.

“Like hell,” Shepard breathed. She responded more loudly, “is this really how you want the galaxy to see you, Khalisah? Not putting on a very good face for humanity, are you? Your prisoner is already escaping.”

“Shit,” the reported snarled, realizing that her camera was still rolling. The little drone seemed almost to be enjoying itself as it took in the scene, feeding the broadcast live for all to see. “Deactivate,” she ordered her drone, making the mistake of turning to speak to it.

Shepard pounced, like an awkward cat. She tossed Richter aside and went for Khalisah. The right hook that Shepard dealt might have broken the woman's jaw. There certainly was a sickening crack to accompany the solid thump of fist to face. Shepard turned, in the same, smooth motion, shooting both guards with Richter's gun. She hoped she hadn't killed them. She hadn't the time to aim carefully. She could hear at least one of them moaning as she continued her spin to face Richter again. She aimed his weapon at him, this time sighting carefully, “don't move. Don't call more men. This can end here.”

Richter seemed to consider for a moment, then slowly raised his hands. “You haven't lost your touch, have you, Lori?” he asked, his tone dejected.

She moved around Richter, keeping the gun trained on him. She knelt, and with one hand, touched Kirrahe's neck, searching for a pulse. She was almost certain she'd found it, when a distant explosion rocked the building. “What the hell?” She looked up.

“Oh shit. Could this day get any worse?” moaned Richter.

“What was that?” Shepard demanded, gripping the firearm in both hands again, muscles tensing, and protesting the action as she shifted to the balls of her feet.

“I think your biotic friend may be up. I told them that the normal sedation wouldn't be enough, but they didn't want to overdose him. We're not murders, Lori.”

“Could have fooled me,” she motioned with her head to Kirrahe's limp form.

There was gunfire. “Alright, come with me,” Shepard ushered Richter forward.

The two encountered the scene that Richter seemed to have feared. At one end of the large, main room, Richter's men were seeking cover and firing towards the other end. Kaidan had a solid biotic barrier in place, protecting James and Steve, who had acquired weapons. Shepard hoped they hadn't been forced to kill their captors, but if so, it couldn't be helped.

Shepard glanced at Richter, and he gave her the slightest of nods. They might have been apart for many years, but there was still communication that could pass between them. The two split up, each carefully moving towards their own people.

“Steve!” Shepard called as she approached Kaidan's barrier.

Her pilot turned, eyes wide with surprise. “Shepard? We were just coming to rescue you.”

“I rescued myself,” she assured him. “Let me in?” she asked Kaidan, who had turned his head upon hearing her voice.

“You bet,” he twitched an outspread finger and his biotics allowed her to enter the barrier. “Sorry it took us to long. I had to create a tiny biotic field to break my cuffs, which was difficult because I was cuffed to James, here.”

Vega fired a few shots towards the gang at the other end of the room. “You did singe me a bit, by the way.”

“Oh quit your bitching,” Kaidan chuckled as bullets defected harmlessly off of his barrier. “So what's the plan, Shepard? I can hold this for a while, but we're not gaining any ground. They outnumber us, by a lot.”

“We cease fire.” she said, putting her hand on Vega's shoulder.

“Can we? Thank god,” said Steve, gratefully lowering his weapon. “I don't think I hit anything except the wall.”

“Are you sure?” James asked her, still tense.

“Yes. But keep that barrier up, Kaidan.”

“Will do,” the biotic nodded.

Moments later the other side stopped firing. “Can we move in this thing?” Shepard asked Kaidan.

“I can. It's draining. I can't keep it up forever.”

“We shouldn't need to,” Shepard assured him.

Kaidan began to walk, arms outstretched, blue energy coiling around him. Shepard and company kept up as their protective bubble moved with the biotic. Soon they reached where Richter and his people were hunkered behind upturned tables and desks. “Let me out.”

“Shepard?”

“Let me out.” she repeated, watching Richter, who was crouching beside a frightened looking younger man.

Kaidan hesitated, then motioned with his hand. Shepard stepped through his barrier. No one shot her. That was a good first step. She holstered Richter's gun at her hip, eyes locking with those of her old friend. “Are we ready to talk about this?”

He stood up. “I think we are.”

“Someone bring my friend, Mr Alenko, a radio. Kaidan, get the Alliance negotiators in here. And I better have my fiance's sniper rifle back soon, or negotiations are off.”

~~~~

Shepard and her team boarded the Normandy with Kirrahe on a stretcher behind them. Garrus was waiting to greet them, as well as Traynor. The turian met his mate with a gentle kiss. “I see you were successful,” he glanced at the injured salarian.

“We were,” Shepard breathed, allowing herself to lean weight against Garrus' shoulder.

“How'd the mission go?” he asked, as he helped her limp towards the lift.

“Pretty standard, actually,” she said.


	12. Conversation

Part 12  
Conversation

A tigress was caught in a trap, struggling to free herself. Her roars rent through the air like ghostly thunder. The more she struggled, the more the trap's tines bit into her legs. She failed with her body and soon landed hard on her side. A dark shape was coming, roaring as loudly as she. It was coming to kill her, she knew. The tigress closed her eyes.

Shepard woke. Again she was transported seamlessly from sleeping to waking. She reached around until she found Garrus' hand and gave it a squeeze to wake him. The turian rolled towards her with a happy growl, kissing her gently. “Good morning,” he said, groggily.

“Maybe for you,” Shepard sighed. She moved stiffly. Every muscle protested. Her legs were twin pillars of fire. Bruises stood out, even against her clay-colored skin. “These old bones of mine aren't too pleased with me today.”

“If you're old, then so am I,” Garrus pointed out, striding across the room and fetching a syringe of medigel. He ran his rough hand playfully up her leg before injecting the gel into her thigh.

A tingling numbness spread though her leg muscles, but Shepard knew it wouldn't be enough. Today was going to be a rough day. “Shut up, Garrus,” she said, trying to keep her tone jovial, “you're younger than me.”

“Only by a few years,” he scoffed. “Or do human females die young?”

“Actually, we females tend to live longer than the males. Provided those females don't go courting death on a daily basis,” she smirked.

“By that account we should both be in our grave several times over,” Garrus chuckled. “Suits me fine.”

“You don't want to grow old together? Two little old...do turian's get wrinkled? Two aged warriors in our rocking chairs?”

Garrus scrunched up his nose, making a face. “No thanks. I'd rather die young and beautiful.”

“Too late for that,” she laughed.

“Maybe,” he joined her laughter. It filled the cabin, making it feel full to the bulkheads with joy. The way any true home should feel.

She started to stand up, but her legs had other plans. Garrus had to move quickly to catch her. He scooped her up and set her on the couch as though she weighed nothing. Shepard was tall, especially for a woman, and well muscled, but Garrus still set her down as if she were made of delicate china. “Do I need to take you to the med-bay?” he asked, a warning tone in his voice.

“No. I'll be fine. My legs are just pissed off at me for all that adventuring I did yesterday.”

“Right,” Garrus nodded as though he had come to a decision. “You're staying here today. You're going to sit and relax and give your muscles that final chance they need to heal.”

“What? No. I have shit to do, Garrus,” she pushed him out of her way, but then found herself unable to get to her feet. Her legs were clearly ready for a break. The rest of her felt pretty beat up as well, come to that. She heaved a dramatic sigh. “Fine. I want you to head to the med-bay right away and check on Kirrahe, as well as any progress they have made with that genetic what-ever.”

“Yes, ma'am,” Garrus smiled roguishly at her. His small, blue eyes sparkled. “But first...” Garrus bustled around the cabin, fetching pillows, snacks, drinks and books. He stacked them artfully before her. “This way I'll feel better about leaving you here, alone.”

“What am I, six?” Shepard asked, though even as she joked she realized that as a child no one had ever made her a little nest like this when she was sick. She had always taken care of herself. So she let Garrus dote, smiling to herself all the while. “You know, some people say that turian's look like birds of prey from earth. I say you look like a mother hen.”

“I don't know what that is,” Garrus said, tapping a few buttons to activate the television screen. “But I think I should be insulted.”

“Probably,” she took one of the pillows in her lap and rested her arms on it as she watched him bustle. “Alright! Garrus, honestly, stop! I'm good. Get your scaly butt out of here and get some work done.”

He gave her a smirking grin, “I could always go calibrate something I suppose.”

“Garrus!” she shouted in mock dismay, throwing a pillow at him.

“Alright, I'm going. Behave yourself while I am gone.” He leaned down and kissed her warmly.

“Never,” she whispered into his lips as she returned the kiss.

It didn't take long after Garrus left for Shepard to go a bit stir crazy. She'd always been an active person. Resting was never her speed. She grew bored with every book she started and set each aside in turn. She flipped through a few movies in the ship's databanks. She started watching “Fleet and Flotilla” which had been recommended by Tali, but it turned out to be a mushy love story, with hardly any explosions, so she turned it off. “EDI,” she said to the air. Nothing happened. “Dammit,” she breathed. She was so used to the AI always being there. “Computer.”

“Yes, Commander?” the generic, mechanical voice chirped.

“Where is Garrus Vakarian?”

“Garrus Vakarian is in the forward battery.”

“Computer, call the medbay for me.”

“Calling.”

Chakwas' face appeared on the TV screen. The doctor peered at her monitor, blinking, “Shepard? What's wrong? Do you need me?”

“No, mom,” Shepard said, sarcastically. “Jeeze, between you and Garrus...anyway, I was wondering how Kirrahe is doing. Garrus was supposed to report to me, but I think the prospect of calibrating the main gun was too much for him.”

Chakwas chuckled. Shepard saw Stone scuttle past in the background, carrying a laptop in one claw and datapads in several others. “Go easy on your mate,” Chakwas explained, “he did pop his head in, but Major Kirrahe is resting, so I told him to leave.”

“So is he doing alright? Kirrahe I mean.”

“Yes. He's very worn out after his rough experience, but he'll be fine. Tough, just like you, Shepard. Good war dogs like you two don't stay down and out for long.”

“How is the research going.”

“Well,” Chakwas smiled. “It seems that Cerberus may have been on to something. It is admittedly difficult to test our theory, but we have been looking at a lot of research on indoctrination and its effects on the brain. You may, in fact, have some immunity.”

“How's Cadel doing?”

“He's been quite helpful. He's let us in on quite a few scientific discoveries that Cerberus made, unbeknownst to the rest of the galaxy.”

Shepard chewed her lip. “I feel like I've been here before, with Mordin. Is it alright to use knowledge that was gained through cruel methods? You know what Cerberus does to get its information.”

“Did.” Chakwas corrected. “There may be a few factions of Cerberus out there, but for the most part, they're going extinct. You personally killed a majority of their combat units.” Chakwas pointed out.

“I suppose,” Shepard still felt uneasy. She had encouraged Mordin to keep the data which saved the krogan people, even if it had been gained through torturous experiments. Had she been right to do so? The dilemma still plagued her.

Chakwas seemed to sense her unease. “Shepard, we cannot save those who died to gather this information, but we can make their deaths worth while by using it to save the galaxy.”

“Again,” Shepard sighed, “save the galaxy again.”

“What was that Commander?” Chakwas, leaned closer to the screen.

Shepard spoke up. “I suppose you're right,” Shepard said. “Keep me apprized of any new information you gather.”

“Of course, Commander,” said Chakwas, looking eager to get back to work. “We'll talk again.” The doctor's face vanished from the screen.

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck. “Computer, call Liara T'Soni.”

Glyph floated into view on the screen. “Commander!” the drone warbled. It almost sounded pleased to see her.

“Hello, Glyph,” Shepard said, smiling in spite of herself. “Is Liara there?”

“Dr. T'Soni is sharing breakfast with engineer Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy, at this time. Should I fetch her?” the drone bobbed up and down, like an excited puppy.

“Maybe you can answer my question, Glyph. Has Liara made contact with anyone through our connection to the Illusive Man's base?”

“Not yet, Commander. All has been quiet.” Glyph reported.

“I see,” Shepard sighed, a feeling of despondence washing over her. She didn't like it. Someone should have stumbled into the base by now. Scavengers, if nothing else. “What is going on out there?” She mumbled.

“I do now know, Commander,” Glyph answered her.

Shepard looked up, giving the drone a slight smile. “Thank you, Glyph.”

“Shall I tell Dr T'Soni that you called?”

“No need,” Shepard said, wearily. While it would be nice to talk to her friend, Liara was busy with her own issues. It was probably best not to bother her.

Shepard swept her hand through the air to end her call to Glyph. She nested back into her pillows and sighed. “Why is it so boring in my cabin?” Then she sat up again. “Computer, can I communicate with earth?”

“Yes, Commander.”

“Excellent. Please put me through to Javik. I believe he has been working near London.”

“One moment please,” the computer replied.

Shepard waited. After a few moments of absentmindedly digging dirt from under her fingernails with her teeth, a familiar face appeared on her screen. Behind the prothean she could see bright, blue sky over a mending city. Javik blinked confusedly at her for a moment, then his expression cleared. “Commander. It is good to see you. Your planet's sun reflecting off of my screen made it difficult for me to recognize you.”

“How are you liking earth, Javik?” Shepard asked, leaning forward. Peering at the screen she thought she could almost feel a warm breeze touch her cheeks.

“It is good to be outdoors after so long aboard a ship, and before that, my time in the pod. Your earth reminds me of one of our worlds back in my cycle. The protheans owned many worlds, but my favorite was similar to this.”

“I've been told you're very helpful with the rescue and rebuilding efforts.”

“I have been keeping myself engaged, yes. I like the people here. They do not gawk and stare. They see only an individual who wishes to help them.”

“That sounds great, Javik,” Shepard smiled. Before the final charge against the Reapers on earth, Javik had been talking of returning to his home planet and committing suicide on the graves of his men. Now he looked almost contented. The bright colors of his skin were muted by dust and grime, but he still looked healthier than she had seen him. “I think you are at your best when you have a goal.”

“This may be true,” he agreed. “It is good to be appreciated for my superior strength, instead of the mere fact that I am prothean. Yet, I do feel a longing for combat again. I am a soldier, as you are, Commander. If you see battle again, I would like to accompany you.”

“Don't worry Javik. I think we may have a few fights to come.” Shepard said, unsure how she felt about that fact.

“I have felt it too,” the prothean's voice was lower, almost secretive. “You and I can sense it, because war is what we were made for. Bred for. What we have lived for. We know when a battle is not ended.”

Shepard felt uneasy then. If he too could sense that the fight was not over, could it mean that this was true? What she had been able to dismiss as a hunch now stood out vividly in her mind. This wasn't over. No, far from it. She shuddered. “Well,” she said, feeling suddenly very low, “I'll let you get back to work. Thank you for helping my people.”

Javik simply dipped his head in acknowledgment, then vanished from her screen. Shepard pulled her aching legs up towards her chest. She sat, arms wrapped over her shins, her mind lost in thought. This wasn't the end, but what could she do? She was trapped. Alone. No. Not alone. The best thing about being Commander Shepard was that she never had to be alone.

“Computer, call Jeff Moreau to my cabin please.”

“Yes, commander.”

Shepard waited. She half expected Joker to call her and demand to know why she was summoning him. Instead she heard the doors hiss open and closed. “Shepard, I know you've always had a thing for me, but I think calling me to your cabin, while your boyfriend is out, to ravish me is going too far.”

“Damn that computer, it wasn't supposed to tell you about that,” she said, turning to see her friend. He negotiated the steps down to the lower half of her cabin with care. Though Cerberus had helped him a great deal, his bones were still delicate.

“So, I see that all you need is a razor sharp sense of humor and you could pilot the ship,” Joker gestured towards her bruised legs. She let her feet fall back to the floor and pulled a blanket over them, but smiled none the less.

“What about your dazzling skill?”

“All bravado. It's the attitude really. Greatness is all about attitude.”

“Who said anything about greatness?” she smirked.

He limped over and sat beside her on the couch, helping himself to her box of animal crackers. “Aren't we supposed to be rationing?” he asked as he stuffed the treats into his mouth. “I guess it's good to be the Captain.”

“I had those set aside before this whole thing started, and you know it,” she said, jostling him with her shoulder as she reached into the box as well.

“Easy, Commander. Wouldn't want to break the best pilot in the galaxy.” he made a show of rubbing his arm and wincing.

“We both know you're not that fragile,” she laughed, moving to throw a few mock punches.

Then they both sat quietly for a moment, looking straight ahead. Shepard studied her hands, which now rested in her lap. Every scar and callous told a story, and many of those stories involved Joker. “Jeff...I know you've been kind of...well, upset lately,” she ventured.

“Pissed,” he said, not meeting her eyes.

“Pissed. Yes. I just wanted to say, I understand.”

“Do you?” he stood up, hand on the brim of his hat to pull it down over his eyes. He limped to her bed, then back. “yeah. I'm pissed, Shepard. What's worse, I'm pissed at you. YOU! You almost died again, which was my fault, and I'm pissed at you?”

“You have every right to be.” Shepard said, her tone quiet.

He crossed the room again, restless. “You're the reason we're here. Trapped here in the Sol system. EDI is...dead, or asleep, or something. The geth are down and out. And I've got a beautiful warship and no place to fly her. Yeah. I'm pissed.” His voice had gotten louder, echoing off the walls.

Shepard let his anger wash over her. He was right. It was all her fault. Every bit of it.

“And here people are admiring you. Saying you're a great hero, 'you saved us all'! But you didn't save us all. Why do people still love you?” He paused and his voice became a hoarse whisper. “Why the hell do I still love you?”

Shepard raised her eyebrow slightly.

Joker glanced at her face and he knew she was giving him an out. Letting him retreat from rage. His expression was grateful. “Not that kind of love, you sicko. Eeew. You're like my sister.”

“Are you trying to gross me out too?” Shepard asked, scooting so there was more room for him on the couch.

He plopped down beside her again. “Thanks...for letting me vent.” he muttered.

She tapped the brim of his hat with her fingertips. The gesture had become their signal of friendship. Of assuring one another that everything was alright. “I'll be sure to shut you up next time. I think you scared the hamster.”

Joker laughed. “Please do. Now, why did you call me here anyway? Some kind of special planning meeting the others aren't allowed to be at?”

“Not quite.” She reached forward and pushed a button on the small, square table before them. A drawer popped open. Shepard took out two controllers and handed one to Joker. “I haven't got anything to do today, and I know you don't.”

“How could you know that?” Joker asked, taking his controller and flicking the control sticks experimentally.

Shepard did a mocking imitation of Joker's voice, “I've got a beautiful warship and no place to fly her.”

“Shut up,” Joker said, without conviction. “I get to pick the game,” he began scrolling through the ship's library.

“What about that one?”

“Nope. No shooting games. You always win. Here we are.”

“Racing?”

“Hell yeah, racing. A little old school though,” he waved the controller. “No full immersion gaming?”

“Are you worried you might break your thumbs?” Shepard smirked.

“Worried I might break my old record.” Joker selected a racetrack.

“Palaven? Really?”

“You know I like to start with a challenge, now are you going to game, or are you going to bitch?”

In answer Shepard started the race at the same time she butted her shoulder against Joker's. “Heeey!” he whined.

The two sat, side by side in the glowing light of the screen playing game after game. Trash talk and laughter filled the air, once again making the little cabin feel like a home.


	13. Scars

Part 13  
Scars

When Joker left Shepard put the controllers away and lay down on the couch, ready to put on the rest of Fleet and Flotilla and fall asleep. Before she pressed 'play' the comm beeped. Shepard tapped the screen and Chakwas' face appeared. “Doctor?” Shepard asked, worry already creeping into her voice.

“Sorry to disturb you, Shepard. Kirrahe is awake, and has requested to see you. I told him I would ask.”

“Is he alright?” Shepard was already shedding her pajamas and pulling on a tank-top and jeans.

“He is recovering well, but I think seeing you would boost his morale.”

“I'm on my way,” Shepard said, tugging on her boots.

It took her mere minutes to get to the medbay. Her legs actually felt better after their day of rest. Though they still twinged, she was able to walk with more sureness than she had for days. Perhaps Garrus had not been completely wrong about her needing a day of rest. Of course, she would never let him know that, she smiled to herself as the medbay doors hissed open.

The lights were dim. It was getting late in the evening. The ship still ran of Citadel standard time, even though they orbited earth. Chakwas sat at one end of the room, the light from her computer screen washing across her face. Stone stood with her, seemingly working on several computers at once. Cadel appeared to be asleep. Across from him, in a dimly lit section of the bay, Shepard could just make out her salarian friend's form.

“Chakwas?” Shepard whispered, not wanting to wake anyone.

The Dr turned, smiling a greeting. She strode over to Shepard and led her towards Kirrahe's bed. “Be gentle with him. He took quite a beating. Several lacerations and bruises, some minor internal bleeding, a broken finger and several broken ribs. All mending nicely.” Chakwas seemed to add her last statement when Shepard looked at her with alarm.

“Shepard?” Kirrahe had spotted her. He slowly propped himself up against his pillows. She held out her hands to help him, but he gestured them away. “Thank you, commander, but I can manage,” his voice was weak, but his eyes shone with wakeful determination. “I am sorry if I disturbed you in any way. As silly as it sounds, I wanted to ensure that you were, indeed, still alive. My mind was a bit foggy when I woke, and I was not certain that the last few days had been real.”

“I'm afraid so,” Shepard sat down on the bed beside his, pulling up her legs and crossing them. “I'm sorry we didn't find you sooner.”

He waved a dismissive hand. “The Reaper did most of the damage. Your human...friends, while not exactly kind, were far from cruel.”

“I assure you that most human hospitality is far better than that.” Shepard smiled wanly.

“It seems that once again you have pulled me from the fire. For that, I thank you, Shepard.” he extended a hand for her to shake.

She took it gently, but he still winced when he let his arm fall back to his side. She scooted forward, worry clear on her face. “Are you in pain? Chakwas can give you something,” she leaned out to get the doctor's attention, but Kirrahe stopped her with another motion.

“No, Shepard, I am fine. Salarian ribs are stronger than human ones, and slightly springy, so to break one requires a good deal of force. But they are mending well, as your physician has already assured you.”

Shepard sat in the semi-dark for a moment. She was unsure what to say, but did not feel that she should leave. Kirrahe seemed lost in thought, sadness written on his long features. “Chakwas said something about morale?” Shepard finally asked, her voice quiet.

Kirrahe looked up, “I will admit I have been a bit despondent. You and I, we're bluff old soldiers now. We've seen our fair share of it, but you never get used to it, do you? Losing your team?”

“No,” Shepard's voice was so quiet she wasn't certain that her friend had heard her. Emotion clogged her throat making it difficult to breath. Or was that something else? “You never get used to it.”

“On earth...” Kirrahe's voice too was almost lost in sadness. “My team and I were working together with some humans and asari to keep the Reaper's attention. We knew you were heading to the Citadel to end things, and we only have to hold a bit longer.”

Shepard's heart gave a painful twinge and it was becoming impossible to swallow. She fought back her body's urge to hyperventilate. Her recriminations and feelings of failure flared up in her mind.

Kirrahe pressed on. She could tell that he needed to speak to someone about his losses. She was likely the only one he would tell. She had to keep it together. “The asari team kept up barriers and we peppered the Reapers with ground fire. We were alright, until one of them took a real notice of us. I suppose that was our job. To get its attention. It turned that great beam weapon on us. Missed the first couple of times. I tried to use that time to get my men out, but they wouldn't leave without the human team, who had wounded.”

A tear prickled in Shepard's eye. “You had some good people,” she said, tightly.

“I did. I went back, to try to help them, but a beam caught them. The blast threw me back, like a toy tossed against the rocks by a wave. That's how I got so smashed up. After I was thrown I couldn't think or see clearly, but I could hear what was left of my men. Screaming.”

Shepard leaned forward, reaching across the gap between the beds and laying a hand on top of his. He didn't meet her eyes. She hesitated a moment before she spoke. “You're familiar with my military record. I know salarians, you've done your research.”

He gave her a crooked smile, a gleam in his eye. “I have.”

“I know that my file is very vague on the subject of Akuze.”

“It is. It states that your unit was killed by thresher maw, but goes in to no further detail.” he seemed to sense where she was going. He slid his hand out from under hers and set it on top. “I understand that humans like to share difficult moments with one another in times of stress, but please do not feel obligated to share if it causes you pain.”

Shepard looked up, earnestly, into his large eyes. The dim lights of the medbay reflected off them, shimmering. “I haven't told any of my crew this story. Not even Garrus. My mate,” she clarified. Kirrahe nodded, silently indicating that she go on. “I will probably tell him when all this is over, but I have always felt that you might be one of the few who could understand. Garrus experience lies mostly with small units, and it's not quite the same.”

“Indeed it is not,” said Kirrahe, his eyes understanding. She could tell he was recalling his years of service and struggles as a commander.

“Back then, we didn't know that Cerberus was behind the thresher-maw attack. We thought we'd stumbled onto a nest. But I'm getting ahead of myself,” she leaned back slightly, taking shake breath to begin he story. “It was my first command as a marine. I was excited, I won't lie. I had been chomping at the bit to lead an important mission for a long time. As a woman, I was a minority in the command structure.”

Kirrahe tilted his head, “I was under the impression that human females were on equal social standing with the males.”

“Yes and no. People try to claim it is equal, but if you look around you see a lot of males faces. Above me, Anderson and Harken. No women. Not that our men don't do a good job, but I was eager to prove myself. Even my superiors said I was natural born leader. That didn't help keep my ego small,” she chuckled. “We were sent to Akuze to investigate a missing colony. Boots hit ground just outside the colony's location, and at first everything looking just fine. Buildings all standing, heck, even laundry hung out to dry. It soon became clear that something was amiss, however. There was no one. Empty streets and houses. No signs of life anywhere. That's when I got a little edgy. My second in command... Wesley was his name...was great. He was younger than me, and still green, but level headed. He helped me keep my cool.”

“It sounds like your instinct might have been correct,” Kirrahe interjected quietly.

“It probably was,” Shepard sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “By Wesley pointed out that we had a job to do. We were Marines, after all. So I had my men searching the houses. It seemed that the people had left in a hurry, but we couldn't pick up any tracks, or signs of where they had fled.”

“What happened to them?” Kirrahe asked.

 

“Relocated by Cerberus. Forcibly, of course. We were what Cerberus really wanted. To test a thresher swarm against our group of 50 marines. Of course, they got their chance. The maws were young. Nothing like some of the others I have faced since, but there a lot of them, and my team was scattered around, checking out the buildings and looking for tracks. I should have kept them tighter. We might have had a chance.

“The young maws separated us group by group. They collapsed buildings, sprang out of the ground to devour men whole. All I could hear was my people screaming, and the earth rumbling. I tried to organize those who were with me. Foolishly, I attacked the maws. I don't think I realized how many there were. I should have gotten those that I could out of there. Instead I fed them to the creatures. Oh, we brought down one or two, no denying, but we just couldn't handle the whole pack, not as scattered as we were.”

Shepard paused. The images were vivid in her mind. The sounds of her men, calling for help. Her own voice, issuing deadly orders. The feel of the spray of grit as a maw reared out of the ground before her. Drugs could only suppress so much. Her body tingled with a thousand needles. She kept her breathing under control. Kirrahe closed his thin fingers around her hand, stopping it from shaking. 

“I'm sorry,” she shook her head. “I'm usually stronger than this.”

Kirrahe said nothing, only watched her with his large, intent eyes. She pressed on. “Myself and the men that managed to stick with me hunkered down in a building, but the threshers were tearing the place up, so we were forced to open ground. I called the retreat, but it was much too late. We tried to make the shuttles. My men got picked off, one by one. I stopped looking behind me, stopped hesitating when they yelled for help. I just put my head down and ran. I was the first, and only, person to make it to the shuttles. I turned around then, to see who was still with me. The field was horrific. Blood. Bits of bodies. Everywhere. I ran back out, ready to slaughter the first thresher I saw, but no more came. Cerberus called them back somehow.

“I looked for survivors. I found a few, but they never lasted long. Most of them just cried for mothers, or lovers, then died in my arms. Found one man who had been ripped in half, but he was still clinging to life. You know what he did before he died? Apologized to me. Said 'Sorry, Commander, we should'a got 'em'.

“After I was sure all 50 were dead, I just myself down in the open field, surrounded by disturbed earth and blood, and waited. At the time I figured the maws would be back. They'd eaten their fill, but they would be back for seconds later. I'd just wait there to die like my men. The Alliance picked me up later that night. I was so out of it they had to sedate me and carry me to the shuttle. Anderson pulled strings to keep the details of my horrific failure out of the records. I don't know if it would have hurt my career or not. Everyone sees that I survived Akuze and is impressed. Like I'm a fighter. A real winner. I just got lucky.”

Kirrahe didn't say anything for a long time. Shepard gently withdrew her hand from his. He rested his hands in his lap, looking introspective. “We chock a lot of things up to leadership. To superior arms or tactics. Sometimes...sometimes we're just meant to live. What was it Mordin used to say? Wheel of Life?”

“Something like that,” Shepard nodded, smiling weakly as she remembered her old friend. Such a complex person.

“I don't hold with religion much,” Kirrahe said, scratching his cheek with a long finger.

“No,” agreed Shepard.

“But sometimes you have to wonder. Maybe there is something we're meant for. Our work here isn't done.”

“Maybe,” Shepard sighed, sliding down from the bed. She felt endlessly weary, as though she could sleep for a year. She leaned her abdomen against Kirrahe's bed, folding her arms. “Will you be alright?”

“I will. Will you?”

“Yes,” she smiled, “I always am. I'm Commander Shepard, after all.”

“Tomorrow we will see what greatness awaits you,” Kirrahe joked lightly as he lowered himself back onto his pillows.

Without thinking, and before the major would stop her, Shepard arranged his blankets. He shot her a look of mock annoyance before closing his eyes. Shepard stretched, glancing around the quiet medbay. Chakwas had retired, and Stone was curled up on a bio-bed. He looked almost cute in slumber. Almost. Then she glanced across the room to see two, pale blue eyes watching her.

Anger rose in her. She strode across to Cadel, who sat up hurriedly, sensing her anger. He cowered, eyes wide. “I'm sorry,” he whispered. “I overheard. I couldn't help it.”

“I think you could have,” growled Shepard. She felt violated. She wasn't one to share with anyone she didn't trust explicitly. It wasn't as if Cadel could do anything with the information she had told Kirrahe, but she hated him knowing. It was all she could do not to hit him. He seemed to sense this, and looked appropriately frightened. Blue light flickered at his fingertips, then vanished. He knew better than to try biotics. The wrath of the crew would come down on him harder than a sledge hammer. He seemed torn between the fear of her clenched fists and the possibility of dying at the hand of a wrathful turian.

Shepard let her hands relax. Though her mind was still buzzing, she was better at controlling her temper than she had been as a youth. “If you tell anyone, and I mean anyone, I will turn you into a crater. Understood?”

“Yes ma'am,” Cadel's watery eyes grew less alarmed. “I would never...I mean, who would I tell?”

“Exactly,” she growled, still eying him dangerously.

“Commander,” he said, as she turned to leave.

“What?” Her voice was louder than she meant it to be, and Stone stirred, making clicking sounds in his sleep.

“The Illusive Man didn't tell us much about you. He said you were a great fighter, and an astounding leader. Still, I was always working with that little defect in your brain as my motivator. Not your whole brain. Not the woman that you are. I couldn't see the bigger picture. I still don't know if I can, but...” he seemed unsure. As though his smooth talk had finally failed him. His voice was husky and earnest as he continued. “I think that we were wrong to assume you were valuable because you are immune to indoctrination. I think it's clear that the Illusive Man didn’t fully understand what he was reviving.”

“Thank you?” Shepard cocked an eyebrow.

Cadel looked at bit lost, then shook his head, his messy hair falling in front of his face. “Sorry. It's late. I'm a little out of it. I'll see you around, Commander Shepard.” He lay back down, turning to face away from her.

Shepard left the medbay and headed for her quarters. As she undressed and slid into bed beside the already slumbering Garrus, her thoughts were finally winding down. Or perhaps it was her evening dose of antidepressants. Who could tell? Still she did feel a bit better after her talk with both Kirrahe, and strangely, with Cadel. If he could see her as a hero, maybe she still was.


	14. Adrift

Part 14  
Adrift

Shepard stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and rubbing it over her stubby hair. She missed many things about her long hair, but how long it used to take to dry was not one of them. She turned back to face her mate and began laughing, as she had been doing for most of their shower together,

“Please stop that,” pleaded Garrus unconvincingly. “This was supposed to be sexy. You assured me that when humans shower together it is usually sexy. All you did was laugh at me.”

Shepard tried to get herself under control, but failed immediately. The water form the shower kept pooling on Garrus' shoulders in the basin formed by the boney ridge around his neck, then trickling down his front. “How do turian's shower?” she asked, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye as she stepped into her pants. Her legs felt much better and she once again refused to wear her leg braces.

“We don't shower. We bathe. Sometimes we bathe in dust. Our skin needs to stay drier than a human's,” Garrus explained, unable to stop himself from laughing as well as he bent down and dumped the water off himself. Then he reached for a towel.

“Are dust baths sexy?” Shepard asked, tugging on a form-fitting under-armor shirt.

“Not really,” Garrus admitted. “You tend to get dust up in...places.”

Shepard winced and grinned at the same time. “Sorry a shower wasn't all you were hoping, my love,” she said, walking over and standing on tiptoe to kiss him.

He grabbed her around the waist. “You'll just have to make it up to me later,” he growled enticingly.

“Maybe I will,” she bit her lip seductively.

Then the comm beeped. Shepard let out a sigh and disentangled herself from Garrus' arms. He smiled wanly at her. She tapped the pick-up button. “Yes?”

“We're getting a communication from the Fleet,” said Traynor's voice. “Something important.”

“Wonderful,” Shepard sighed, eyes rolling heavenward as she headed for the door. “I guess things around here were just getting a little too comfortable.”

Garrus went with Shepard to the vid-conn room. To their surprise, Tali was already there, talking with a turian on the comm. The quarian looked around when Shepard and her mate entered. “Shepard, this is Commander Bastion. He and his men have discovered something potentially important.”

Shepard stepped forward, dipping her head slightly in a respectful gesture. The turian on the vid did the same. He looked young, but already battle hardened. He had a toughness to his face, which was painted with red markings. Shepard noticed how his eyes lingered on Tali for a moment, before coming to rest on the human before him. “Commander Shepard, it is an honor to meet you.”

“What can I do for you?” she asked, keeping her tone military and succinct.

“My people and the quarians have been monitoring the Reaper corpses at a distance for some time now. They all appear to be dead, no movement or power spikes. However, we have been unable to determine an antiquate way to destroy them. However, because there are so many Reapers spread through your system, we find ourselves having difficulty defending every corpse. As a result, I am ashamed to admit, a few pirates, possibly from Omega, have managed to get aboard one of the Reapers. I was instructed to board myself, but I have been communicating with your engineer, Tali, who tells me there may be a safe way to do so. Without risk of indoctrination?”

“There may be.” Shepard nodded, not volunteering any more details. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Bastion. Please send the location of the infiltrated Reaper to my pilot and the Normandy will investigate.”

“The flagship? Are you sure that is wise?” asked the turian, skeptically.

“Are you willing to disobey an order given by Commander Shepard?” Garrus stepped forward.

“Commander Vakarian! Sir! No sir! Sending the information to you!” the young turian said, hurriedly ending his transmission.

Shepard shot Garrus an annoyed look. “I had it under control.”

“Sorry,” he said, tucking his mandibles against his jaw contritely, “I have some clout with the turian military, so I thought I would...”

“Never mind,” Shepard said, waving the moment away. She glanced at Tali, who was still standing to one side. “I'm sorry Tali, were you hoping to continue talking to him?”

Tali's hands flew towards on another and she began wringing them without realizing it. A sure quarian gesture for nervousness. “What? No? I was...I just happened to be...”

“Relax, Tali,” Shepard put a hand on the engineer's shoulder. “You could do far worse than a turian, trust me.”

Tali relaxed slightly. Dipping her head low in a quarian blush.

“Come on, let's head down and see if Chakwas has come up with anything on this whole, “immunity to indoctrination” theory.” Shepard said, leading her two friends out of the room.

The med-bay was active and bright, nothing like what Shepard had seen that night with Kirrahe. The salarian commander was up and about, almost ready to head back to earth and rejoin his people there. Seeing his long and lean salarian form in the medbay reminded Shepard briefly and painfully of Mordin. Would she ever be over the death of her good friend? Probably not, she sighed and forced her thoughts to move on.

“Shepard!” Chakwas greeted them as she turned from her work. Stone was perched on a bio-bed, munching on a platter of what Shepard could only guess was food. It looked more like worms, and, in all likely-hood, that was what it was. Well, at least the earth can provide for the rachni well enough, she thought wryly.

“Any new findings?” Tali asked, pulling herself up to sit on a bio-bed not far from where Stone was eating.

“Very promising,” Cadel enthused from his position, perched cross legged on his own bed, laptop balanced on his knees. “We have asked the crew to volunteer for scans to see who has the defect. It is quite as I expected, considering whom the Illusive Man selected for your team.”

Shepard shot Chakwas a concerned look. The Doctor gave her a reassuring nod. “He's correct. With Stone helping us we have made leaps and bounds in our work. Most of the crew has already come through for a scan. Tali, would you be willing?”

Shepard shot the young quarian a glance. Tali seemed a uneasy as she peered at the Cerberus scientist from behind her mask. “You don't have to, Tali,” Shepard reassured her.

“No, I will,” Tali said, after a moment. She slid down from the bed and walked across to Chakwas.

As the Doctor lay Tali down on the scanning-bed Shepard turned to Stone, who had finished his meal and was wiping away any mess on his face with a napkin. While he ate messily, he tidied up in a very civilized fashion. “So give me the rundown,” Shepard said. “Who is immune?”

“None but you are fully immune,” explained Stone, scuttling down from the bed in a quick motion that startled Shepard.

The rachni crossed to the computer and made a few selections before bringing up a 3D projection of a human. “Few humans on your crew have the defect,” Stone said. “I was a bit surprised by this, as humans are the most likely species to possess it, according to Dr. Cadel's research.”

Kirrahe strode over to join the group, easily looking over Shepard's shoulder.

“The one you call 'Joker' tops our list, as the least likely to be indoctrinated.” the rachni said.

“Won't he be thrilled?” Shepard laughed.

“Dr Chakwas also has the defect, though not as pronounced as Joker's.” Stone continued, waving a limb to gesture at the readout on the screen.

Shepard hesitated. “What about Steve, or Vega?”

“I am afraid not, Commander,” said Cadel, who had been listening from his position on his bed.

Shepard bit her lip. “Kaidan?”

“No,” said Chakwas, rejoining the group with Tali.

“Does he know?” Shepard asked.

“He does,” the Normandy's doctor nodded sadly.

Shepard winced. She knew it would hit Kaidan hard. He wouldn't be able to go with them to the Reaper. She felt glad that Garrus could, but Kaidan would not take it well. He was always protective of her, even though they were no longer a couple. It was a fact which annoyed her and made her feel loved at the same time. She knew she would have to speak to him about it before too long. “Well, Tali?” Shepard asked, to change the subject.

Chakwas entered Tali's data into the computer and a moment later her brain scan appeared. “Stone was able to create a program which will quickly locate the the defect in the brain of any species,” said Chakwas. “It has been invaluable. One moment and...There. Yes, Tali, you have it.”

“Cerberus research indicates it is rare in quarians,” said Cadel.

Tali didn't seem to know how to feel. Shepard put a hand on her friend's shoulder. “You'll be coming with me to the Reaper ship. We'll need an engineer. To be honest, I am not surprised to find that you are resistant to indoctrination. The Illusive Man didn't send me to you directly, but we did run into one another a few too many times for it to be coincidence.”

Tali nodded, arms folded across her chest, her body language still speaking of unease.

“What about the rest of the crew?” Shepard asked.

“Grunt, of course. He has the second most immunity, after you Commander. I have the defect as well,” Chakwas tapped herself on the temple with a hint of pride in her voice. “A few other members of the crew have it. Sadly Liara does not. Nor does Traynor, nor Wrex. I do not know if Javik does. I'd need a brain scan of him, and he has never allowed me to take one. Provided I can understand a prothian brain once I see it.”

“I'll talk to him,” said Shepard. “I'm sure once he has a good reason to, he'll let you take one.” Shepard hesitated. “Jack, Samara, Mordin, and Miranda?” she listed off the names of the dead in a solemn voice.

“All indications point to them each having the defect,” Chakwas nodded sadly. “Jacob and Kasumi as well, wherever they are,” she said, a bit more brightly, as though trying to lift the mood.

“And me,” Kirrahe said, raising his hand.

“You?” Shepard turned, eyebrows raised.

“I had your Doctor scan me, out of curiosity. It seems that I have your defect as well.”

“Kirrahe, I know you are eager to get back to your people on earth,” Shepard began hurriedly, “but would you consider leaving Rentola in charge and becoming a member of my team? At least temporarily?”

Kirrahe tilted his head in consideration. “I do have a great respect for you, Commander Shepard. I have often wondered what it would be like to be under your command, or that of any Spectre. I would be honored.” he touched his chest and gave her a half bow.

“Alright, do we have any other details on how this immunity works?” Shepard asked. “How long can my people be around of inside of a Reaper before they began to be indoctrinated?”

“Well, we have very little practical evidence...” Chakwas began.

“You do. Cerberus was running tests,” Cadel said, spinning his laptop around so everyone could see.

“I feel so much safer,” muttered Tali, darkly.

“Cadel did bring us the knowledge of this defect,” Chakwas pointed out.

“Knowledge they found through torture,” Tali's tone was dark.

“We'll be cautious, Tali,” Shepard reassured her, while feeling her own hackles raise as she leaned in to look at Cadel's laptop.

“Shepard, you could stroll around in a Reaper forever, if it let you. No adverse effects.” said the scientist. “Grunt or Joker might manage a few days. The rest of you, 24 hours, maximum. At least, this is what our research suggests.”

“Anyone up for testing it?” Shepard asked, standing back, hands on hips.

“We got a report this morning of pirates managing to get on board a Reaper,” Garrus explained, when Shepard's question was met with confused looks. “We want to go chase them off before they cause trouble.”

“When do we leave?” asked Kirrahe, smiling.

“As soon as we're ready. Suit up,” Shepard could not keep the fierce, wild grin from her face.

“Commander,” Chakwas spoke up. “I know you're the very best person for this job, but wouldn't it be logical to keep you here? You are, after all, a member of the new council. So are Garrus and Tali, come to that.”

Shepard gave her a look, with eyebrow raised, “are you being serious?”

Chakwas folded her arms. “I am. You're our leader, we need you.”

“I think the problem with the last Council was that they never got off their asses and did anything. Never got their boots dirty. You know my style of leadership is very hands on.”

“Really?” smiled Garrus, sarcastically.

“The people are used to that style. They don't want Commander Shepard to suddenly stop kicking ass and taking names. If I became like those frightened blowhards of the old Council no one would take me seriously any more.”

“Very believable story,” Chakwas said, still holding her ground. “I know the truth. You just want to get back out there because it's your natural habitat. It has nothing to do with leadership.”

“You found me out,” Shepard smirked. “Can we go now, mum?”

“Oh fine,” Chakwas waved her arms dismissively, trying hard to hide a grin which twitched on the corner of her mouth. “Get out of my sight.”

“Right, going!” Shepard said, hurrying to the door. She stopped, as the med-bay doors whooshed open. “Can I assume you are going to be scanning and getting scans from as many people as you can from now on?”

“Of course. What do you take me for?” Chakwas waved her hands again, “now shoo! Go save the galaxy from pirates, or whatever you're doing today.”

~~~~~

“I'm not going to lie, this is creepy as fuck.”

“Just take us in slowly, Joker,” Shepard said, her hand on the pilot's shoulder. She had insisted Joker be the one to pilot the shuttle to the Reaper, leaving the Normandy well away from the seemingly dead behemoth.

“If things go south in there, there isn't much I can do with this thing,” Joker said, his voice tense as he brought the shuttle around, looking for a way inside.

“We'll be careful,” Shepard said, for probably the fifth time in an hour. Then she leaned and pointed to something through the front window. “There's the pirate's ship. It looks like it's clinging to the side of the Reaper.”

“Ah, I see it. You dock the bottom of your shuttle against the Reaper. You're going to have to go through the emergency hatch in the floor,” he glanced over his shoulder at Shepard and her team. Though Shepard had wanted to bring Grunt, the size of the shuttle limited her team. Instead she had Tali, Garrus, and Kirrahe. She would deal with Kaidan, whom she had spotted giving her a very baleful look as she had suited up, when they got back.

“Do you see any sign of life from the pirate's ship?” asked Tali, coming forward and peering out at the Reaper.

“Nothing yet,” said Joker, “I'll be keeping a close eye on it, trust me.”

“How long have the pirates been docked here?” asked Kirrahe, checking the heat-clip on his pistol.

“Long enough,” Garrus replied, reaching for his helmet.

“They won't have changed yet,” Shepard reassured her crew. “They will only be starting to show signs of indoctrination. They may even be trying to revive the Reaper. We're going to make sure that doesn't happen.”

There was a jostle and thud as Joker brought the shuttle into docked position with the Reaper. “God, this is so creepy,” he said again.

Shepard saw how tense his shoulders were and she reached forward and tapped his hat brim with her fingertips. “Stay safe, Jeff.”

“You too,” he said, shooting her an uneasy look.

“Ready kids?” she asked as Tali opened the bottom hatch of the shuttle.

“Always,” said Garrus.

The group dropped into the darkness of the Reaper ship.

The flashlights clipped to their firearms flicked to life and the group looked around. Shepard could sense rather than see her people move to stand in formation with her. “Go slow, keep together,” she hissed, and began walking. “Remember, we're looking for any sign of the pirates, or of a control center.”

The inside of the Reaper reminded Shepard of the Collector ships she'd been on. Rounded ceilings, brown all around them. Shepard felt as thought she was walking through a hollowed out corpse. She wondered what it smelled like, if she hadn't been breathing the filtered air which her helmet provided, She sought out points of cover along the ridged walls, but there was no sign of anyone aboard.

“Joker was right, this is creepy as fuck,” said Garrus, after a while of walking.

“You don't get used to it, do you?” Tali piped up, her small voice echoing down the empty corridor.

“I wonder if the Reapers are able to control where you go inside them?” Shepard mused. “Maybe we never will find a control room. Tali, have you seen anything but these fleshy walls? Any sign of tech?”

“No,” replied the engineer, a quaver in her voice.

“I've been mapping as I go,” said Kirrahe, stepping forward to show the group his Omni-tool. “We're not going in circles. One would think we should have found something by now. Either way, I think we are drawing near the pirate's ship.”

“Right,” said Shepard.

The group soon came upon the pirate ship's docking port. Everything was as still and lifeless as it had been the entire time. Shepard realized she was grinding her teeth together, “I don't like this. This all feels very trap-like to me.”

“Wait...here!” The light from Tali's Omni-tool flashed orange across the quarian's helmet as she scanned a bulkhead. “Here! Where the pirate ship docked. I found some tech that isn't covered by the Reaper 'flesh'” the quarian went to work.

Shepard and her team fanned out to stand guard. “Be careful, Tali,” Shepard breathed as she scanned the darkness with a wary eye.

“Just... let me try something,” Tali's voice was tight with concentration.

Shepard caught the flash of orange out of the corner of her eye. “What the hell?”

Tali had her own Omni-blade drawn and she hacked at the Reaper 'flesh' covering what appeared to be a control panel. “I got an Omni-tool upgrade,” the quarian explained, sheepishly.

Before Shepard could answer the whole place shook. A tight, shuddering vibration, as though the Reaper had shivered. “What the heck was that?” Joker's voice came over the Comm.

“Not sure, hang on,” Shepard said. “Tali, whatever you did, please don't do it again. You're scaring Joker.”

“I don't think I'll need to do it again,” Tali replied, already getting to work on the control panel she had uncovered. “Good. This Reaper tech is a lot like the Collectors'.”

“Probably the other way around,” Garrus pointed out.

“True,” Tali agreed.

“Did anyone hear that?” Kirrahe spoke up.

“No,” Shepard breathed. “What did you hear?”

“Sounded like...footsteps.”

“Everyone, be ready,” Shepard squared her shoulders, balancing on the balls of her feet. Her leg muscles protested stiffly, but were not nearly as bad as they had been before. Her breath came in quick, almost excited, puffs inside her helmet. “Tali, keep working on that tech. I want as much information as you can gather. Use your eyes and your memory only. We can't take downloaded data back to the ship. I'm not risking it.”

“Right,” the quarian said, fingers working busily.

“Damn, I heard it this time,” said Garrus, swinging his rifle around as though tracking something.

“Easy,” Shepard warned.

Then the first shot hit her square in the chest. Her shield ate the blow, sparking blue before her eyes as she rushed to cover in front of Tali. “Keep working!” she instructed, knowing Tali had nerves of steel when it came to this sort of thing. The quarian had been the one to crawl through super-heated pipes on the Collector base. She'd opened and closed doors that would have confused and stalled lesser engineers.

Garrus and Kirrahe found cover and soon a clumsy firefight in the semi-dark was well under way. In the flashes of light from gun lights Shepard could make out at least one batarian, an asari, and a few humans. “Hold your fire! We're friendlies!” Shepard tried. Her offer of peace was met with two well aimed blasts which her shield barely deflected.

“They seem real friendly,” Garrus called, almost sounding chipper as he took aim.

“Try to wound, not kill,” Shepard instructed. “I want some answers!”

Kirrahe managed to clip one of their opponents before he had to completely cover. “No easy task, Commander,” he said, “as they seem to be very determined to kill us.”

Shepard sighted through her scope, squinting as she took aim in the flashes of weapons fire. “Kirrahe, I need light down there!”

“Right,” The salarian put his back to cover and slid to a sitting position. He took two flash-bang grenades from his belt and began tinkering with them. “Be ready in a moment.”

“Take your time,” Garrus chuckled, laying down a spray of inaccurate suppressive fire over their targets.

Shepard took her shot, missed, and cursed under her breath. It seemed that there were a few more pirates now than there had been, and greater numbers could mean Shepard and her team would be overwhelmed. “Kirrahe?” she barked.

“Got them,” the salarian pitched both grenades, one after the other, towards the foe. There was still a flash and a bang, but not so blinding as they normally would be. Still disorienting for the pirates, but allowing Shepard and her team to see them as clearly as if they stood in daylight. 

Shepard took her chance, and several clean shots, before she and her team were peppered again. She heard Kirrahe grunt in pain.

“Major? Tali, get over there!”

“No need,” said Kirrahe, “It's just a graze.”

“Commander?” Tali asked, poised between getting back to work and helping the salarian.

“Alright, keep working,” Shepard ordered, taking another shot and getting the batarian in the leg. He went down with a yelp. The light was fading fast. “We need to finish this,” Shepard shouted.

Garrus took a few more shots, both landing clean hits. “Right.” he growled.

The group seemed to come together as one. Shepard felt a sudden connection, as she sometimes did in battle. Kirrahe was a new element, but she was used to working with Tali and Garrus. So much so that it almost felt like she could read their minds, and they hers. Tali stopped her work and picked up her shotgun without being prompted. The group began to press their attackers, who were one by one falling wounded, though some were killed. Shepard waited to hear Garrus' shot, then she scuttled forward, keeping low, to the next piece of cover. Then she fired, allowing Kirrahe to move up. The maneuver was flawless, and it reminded Shepard why she loved this sort of thing. She was damn good at it.

When they had finally reached the pirates, all of them were wounded or dead. Shepard swept her weapon's light down the dark corridor, in case more enemies had fallen back and were awaiting in ambush, but there didn't seem to be anyone. She gestured with her head for Tali to keep an eye on the corridor. The quarian moved into position.

“Gather up the wounded,” Shepard instructed Garrus. “Anyone still awake gets to chat with me. Come here, Kirrahe.”

The salarian strode over to her. “Commander.”

“You were wounded before. Show me.”

“Yas Ma'am,” he said, kneeling before her and indicating a shallow injury on his side. His green blood had already stopped flowing.

Shepard applied some medi-gel to the wound and it knit itself nicely. “There. Now go help Garrus,” Shepard instructed.

Soon the group had gathered all the remaining pirates. Shepard squatted in front of the batarian she'd shot in the leg. He stared at her blankly, all four eyes dull. She squinted at him. Raising her hand she snapped her fingers beside his head. He didn't blink. “Can you hear me?” she asked. He stared through her, eyes hollow. He blinked lazily and unevenly. “This doesn't look good.” Shepard breathed.

“Help,” a voice whimpered. Shepard turned. One of the asari, equally dead eyed and staring, was making weak sounds, almost like a child.

Shepard moved to squat before the pirate, tilting her head close, though her helmet would pick up the sound even if she were further away. “My name is Commander Shepard. Do you need help? What happened here?”

“Dark...'s dark and cold,” whispered the asari.

“Dark and cold,” breathed another of the wounded, like an extremely creepy parrot. Shepard felt a shudder go through her.

“We wait. Why doesn't he come?” the asari asked in a small voice. So sad and pleading.

“What are they talking about?” asked Garrus, obviously on edge.

“I don't know,” Shepard breathed, feeling decidedly uneasy. “We need to get these people out of here. The Alliance will take care of them, and maybe we can figure out what's wrong with them.”

“Indoctrination?” asked Tali, still keeping her eyes locked on the dark passageway.

“Maybe,” Shepard turned to look into another pair of black, unseeing eyes. “Not like any I've seen. This must have happened to them very quickly. I know you can become indoctrinated quickly, especially within a Reaper itself, but this...?”

“Doesn't smell right,” Garrus finished for her.

Kirrahe stepped forward and slung the wounded batarian's arm over his narrow shoulders. The pirate made no protest, nor any effort to help himself as he was lifted. “Well, I suppose we better get moving. This is going to take several trips,” said the salarian determinedly.

“Right,” Shepard agreed. “Kirrahe, you and Garrus start taking the wounded to the shuttle. Tali and I will stay here and keep an eye on the rest of them.”

As the work began Shepard questioned Tali about what she had found in her work on the control panel. “Very little,” the quarian admitted. “It really did seem dead. I even tried giving it a little juice from my omni-tool. Nothing.”

“Well, the Reaper may be dead, but it did something to these people,” Shepard muttered. “Were you able to bring up a map to the control center?”

“No. Nothing like that,” said Tali absentmindedly checking her heat clip. She ejected it with a click and popped in a new one. “At best I could say is that I may have found some sort of Reaper life signs meter. It showed an image of the creature, with a heart, of sorts, and a brain. The parts of a Reaper that no person would go inside. It all looked dead.”

“Dark and cold,” Whimpered the asari, who had not been taken to the shuttle yet. Shepard squinted down at her. “We wanted to wait, but it's so empty.”

“These people can start making sense any time now,” Shepard sighed.

“Commander, we need to talk,” Joker's voice came over the comm, clipped and annoyed.

“Ah, Garrus and Kirrahe have reached you?” Shepard asked.

“Yes. What have I told you about collecting strays? Creepy strays?”

“Don't worry Joker, we aren't keeping these.”

“Not okay, Shepard,” said Joker. “I know it won't stop you, but just let me go down in the record as saying: not okay.”


	15. Keeper

Part 15  
Keeper

“Shepard, we have an alert coming in from the Citadel!”

“Of course we do,” Shepard had barely stepped from the shuttle and pulled off her helmet before Traynor was in front of her, waving a datapad. They had just finished dropping the pirates they had found on the Reaper with some nearby Alliance ships for further study.

Joker limped past Shepard, grumbling, “I'll set course. And here I was looking forward to a shower.”

“Rule number one on the Normandy: never get too comfortable,” Garrus said to Kirrahe, who was standing to one side, brow raised.

“It seems so,” replied the salarian ruefully, pulling his gauntlets back on.

“What's going on?” Shepard asked Traynor, extending a hand for the datapad.

“Well, I think you had best head to the vid conn room,” said Traynor. “I have a Sgt Willows from the Citadel waiting for you there. He's been holding for over and hour.”

“Must be urgent,” said Shepard why a dry chuckle. “Team, take five and check your weapons and armor. Someone get Kirrahe a patch for that hole in his side. Meet me in the briefing room in twenty and bring Grunt, Liara and Kaidan. I want us firing on all cylinders this time.”

She barely registered the chorus of “yes ma'ams,” as she made her way to the vid conn. She was a bit surprised to see that Sgt Willows was indeed still on hold. He was a wide-eyed, nervous looking young man, who was clutching his rifle a bit too tightly to his chest. Shepard suspected his superior had told him to contact her no matter how long it took. A lesser young soldier would have given up by now. “Report,” she barked, smiling faintly when he jumped like a startled squirrel.

“Commander Shepard! Ma'am! I'm glad I finally reached you,” he threw several salutes in rapid succession, and she detected a British accent.

“At ease, son,” she said, putting on her best military drawl. “What's the situation.”

“I am supposed to give you the 'low down' as my commander put it. You surely aware that the Alliance, as well as the turian Fleet and some members of the salarian STG have been working to take back the Citadel, affect repairs, and find and catalog survivors and dead?”

“I am indeed,” she nodded, folding her arms. “What's gone wrong?”

“Well...it's the Keepers, Ma'am. They...well, they've been piling the bodies of the dead, you see. For a while we were focusing on finding the survivors, and we almost thought it handy that they were gathering all the dead up. We thought maybe they were trying to help us. But then...We think we found all the survivors we're going to find and we're eager to remove our dead, for proper rights and all.”

“Get to the point Sgt,” Shepard tapped her fingers against her elbows. She didn't much fancy where this was going.

“The Keepers won't let us have them. They've been taking the bodies somewhere. We don't know where. There are whole parts of the Citadel that not even the asari know about. Parts where, up until now, only the Keepers have had access. We tried to stop the Keepers. To take back our dead, and they've...they've turned violent.”

“How violent?” Shepard's brows came together.

“Very, ma'am. And there are lots of them. More than we suspected. Their skin is like armor. It takes quite a few shots to bring one down. They started out just attacking us when we came for our dead, and then only with melee weapons. Bits of rubbish they picked up. But now, some of them have figured out how to use firearms and, they're...well, they're winning.”

“Shit,” Shepard said under her breath, casting her eyes down for a moment. “Well, that's not good.”

“No indeed, Ma'am,” said Willows tensely. “We're rather hoping to be recalled, Ma'am. We're getting picked off here.”

“Hang tough for the moment, Sgt. I'm coming over there personally with my team to assess your situation.”

“Yes ma'am. Thank you ma'am.”

“Whose your commanding officer?”

“Captain Bailey, ma'am.”

“My Captain Bailey?” Shepard blinked, confused. The man was hardly a military officer, or used to commanding large units of troops.

“Ma'am?” Willows asked, a fresh nervousness washing over his face.

“Bailey of C-sec? That Bailey?”

“Yes Ma'am.”

“What's he doing in charge?”

“He was rather insistent. He said that the Citadel was his home, and his to protect. We've got quite a few C-sec officers here too. But even with their knowledge of the place we're still getting beaten back.” Willows said, clutching his rifle tighter.

“Right. Tell your people to hold tight. I'll be there shortly.”

“Yes, Ma'am,” said Willows with a curt nod. He seemed relieved that he had made it through a conversation with Commander Shepard herself as he pushed a button and ended the call.

Shepard exhaled, ran her fingers thought her scruffy hair, and tugged one of her gauntlets back into place. She now wore her customary black and red, having insisted the armor be made-up after her last mission. Still, it seemed a bit too shiny and new. No battle scars. Well, now was the perfect time to acquire some.

~~~~

She apprized her people of the situation as they gathered in the briefing room.

“The Keepers? Really?” Garrus raised an eyebrow.

“It seems that way,” Shepard said, as she squinted at a projected schematic of the Citadel hovering in the middle of the table. “I think if we get the Normandy close enough we can hop over in the shuttle. I'm not risking my warship getting overrun by insane Keepers. We'll be going into the wards, however, so we'll need to be careful because fighting conditions will be tight.”

“Looks like a solid plan to me,” agreed Vega, squinting at the hologram.

“Those little Keepers may be taking on C-sec, but I don't think they're ready for a krogan battle charge,” said Grunt, eagerly, teeth bared.

“Right,” Shepard nodded, deactivating the hologram. “Just be careful. Overconfidence never helped anyone.”

“Speak for yourself,” said Grunt, though she knew he was joking. Mostly.

~~~~

Joker brought the Normandy in and the Shepard's team was ferried over in the shuttle, though it took two trips. Once inside they began to make their way to where Bailey and his people were waiting, and it didn't take them long to run into trouble.

As they walked down a corridor there was a loud scuttling, and a Keepers darted past them, walking on the ceiling. Vega followed the creature with a spray of bullets, non of which landed a hit. “Dammit!”

“Easy, Vega,” Shepard warned.

“I didn't know the Keepers could do that,” Garrus said, his tone edgy.

“Stay sharp everyone. Keep in formation. I don't want anyone breaking and getting separated.” Shepard barked.

She heard the “Yes Ma'ams” but her focus was elsewhere. The Citadel looked clean. Spotless even. The last time she had been there the dead were stacked along the walls. Gore had smeared the floors. The only thing she did detect was the scent of decay. The Keepers hadn't been able to hide that. She gnawed the inside of her cheek as they pressed onward. It was difficult not to picture her last visit to the Citadel. Limping, bleeding, confused. Her mind strayed to Anderson. How they'd sat together watching the battle unfold before them. She'd been at his side for his last breath, He had deserved better. Had the Keepers collected his body as well? She suspected they had, and the notion made her stomach turn. Images flashed in her mind and her skin prickled with sweat. She wished she'd taken more medication.

A smattering of distant gunfire got Shepard's attention and she and her team rushed forward, soon coming to an open area. Shepard took in the scene at a glance. What appeared to be C-sec officers, pinned down by Keepers. “God, how many of those things are there?” Shepard asked aloud as she moved to help C-sec. The Keepers swarmed. Some had firearms, while other wielded hunks of metal that looked as though they had been ripped from their surroundings. Were the Keepers strong enough to do that?

“Allies!” Shepard called to the C-sec officers as she and her team approached. No good getting shot by the frightened fighters. Out of the corner of her eye Shepard saw several Keepers go flying as Liara and Kaidan tossed them with biotics. Tali's drone zipped into action, distracting several more. Kirrahe, Vega, and Grunt worked well together as the main fire-power while Shepard and Garrus each took a knee, sniping together. Once their way was cleared Shepard and her team moved forward to join the C-sec officers behind their meager cover. “Kaidan, get a barrier over them!” Shepard instructed.

Kaidan moved into the middle of the besieged officers and a blue, biotic, bubble soon surrounded them all. “This is a big barrier, Commander,” he warned, “I can't maintain it forever.”

“Understood,” Shepard sat up from her crouched position and shot a Keeper in the head. Greenish blood sprayed the wall behind the creature as he slumped to the ground.

“We need to drive them back,” Snarled Grunt, body-slamming a Keeper that got too close. The creature staggered back, shaken, and took three bullets from Vega. Still, it did not fall. It swung the hunk of metal it held and smashed Grunt across the jaw. The krogan roared with rage and aimed a kick as blood ran down his chin.

“There are so many!” Tali called as she paused to reload her shotgun.

“Where's Commander Bailey?” Shepard shouted to the officers who huddle gratefully inside Kaidan's barrier.

One of them pointed down another hallway. “Not far that way!” he shouted. “The Keeper attack had slowed so we moved up to see what was going on. They cut us off!”

“Dammit,” Shepard breathed as her shot went wide of a Keeper's head. “Where the hell are they coming from?”

“We had no idea how many Keepers were in the Citadel,” Garrus said, barely managing to kill a Keeper that was about to pounce on him.

“Dammit!” Vega shouted as his shield dropped and he took a shot to his shoulder.

Shepard knew that if they were going to get to Bailey they would have to do it now, and decisively. There was no way they could eat down the Keeper numbers enough to make their move then. There were too many and they swarmed over the walls. A few even climbed to the ceiling and leaped onto Kaidan's barrier. She saw the Biotic flinch as the barrier took the weight of the Keepers. He held strong as Garrus and Shepard sniped the attackers off. “Alright people! Get in formation! We're pushing through!” Shepard shouted. “You, keep up as best you can!” she ordered the C-sec troops. Beaten and bleeding though they were, they all nodded and fell in with Shepard and her crew.

Controlled chaos. Blood spray. The metallic stink of death and gunfire. Shepard almost relished it as she took point, wading through the Keepers. She felt her team move in behind her without having to look. They were like an extension of her senses. Her shield flickered and struggled to maintain as she swung her Omni-blade and fired an assault rifle in turns, slicing her way through.

Grunt and Vega took up the rear of the wedge, preventing the Keepers from flanking. Shepard plowed forward. Fearless. Running on instinct. Soon she spied Bailey's stronghold, which was an old C-sec office, through the mash and press of bodies around her. Alliance soldiers poured out and beat back the Keepers, allowing Shepard and her people to move easily to Bailey's fortified position.

“Shepard!” The Commander of C-sec shouted in greeting. “I'd ask what the hell you're doing here, but you seem to turn up just when we need you, so I shouldn't be surprised.”

“Probably not,” Shepard agreed. She turned to her men, who followed her into the fortification. The front window was completely blocked by scraps of metal with a squat shield generator behind it, working overtime to protect the weak-point. “How are we holding up?” she asked her people.

“Well,” Kirrahe reported smartly, standing almost at attention. “No casualties but Vega and Grunt, who have applied medigel. Their wounds are not severe.”

“Kaidan?” Shepard asked. “That was one hell of a barrier you kept up. How's the L2?”

“I'm fine,” he said, though she noted a hint of red in his left eye where a blood vessel had ruptured. “I might regret it later, but I'm good for now.”

She turned back to Bailey. “So what's our status? Your man, Willows, told me you were pinned down, and that the Keepers are taking the bodies of the fallen?”

“That's pretty much the long and short of it,” Bailey nodded. “For a while we fought back, but they're endless! Now I just want to get my people off the station.”

“Fair enough. I've got the Normandy standing by, but I wanted to see for myself.”

“Why do you suppose the Keepers want the bodies?” Tali asked, launching her defense drone to help the men and women holding the front door.

“Not sure,” said Bailey, showing Shepard and her team over to a paper map of the Citadel he had set out on a table. “We've checked out these areas here, which I have highlighted in red. Over here, these other sections in blue, are places people usually inhabit. These places here, with on color, these are places we've figured out must be full of Keepers.”

“Didn't we once meet a salarian who was studying the Keepers?” Garrus asked, walking over and peering at the map.

Shepard nodded, “Ch-something.”

“Chroban?” Kaidan suggested.

“Yes,” Shepard snapped her fingers. “He had us scan every Keeper we could find. He sent me some information a while back, but it wasn't very helpful. He said something about the Keepers receiving some sort of signal. He said it had happened before.”

“This has never happened before,” said Bailey, gesturing towards the door. Outside gunfire sounded rhythmically. “Unless it was spectacularly covered up.”

“Maybe they got a signal, but a different kind from before,” Tali suggested. “Something to do with the Reapers.”

“We know that the Reapers built the Citadel. That they likely created the Keepers by indoctrinating some other species.” Laira chimed in.

“And we just kept letting them run around inside our space station,” Bailey sighed, his voice tinged with annoyance. “Sometimes I wonder if we deserve to have survived the Reapers when we do shit like that.”

“Can't do anything about it now, but fight,” said Grunt from the doorway. He was eagerly watching the people defending the front of the building from wave after wave of Keepers. He looked like a massive puppy waiting to join in on the fun.

“Have you tried taking any of them hostage?” Shepard asked Bailey.

“Yeah, we thought of that,” the captain said running a hand through his stubble. “Tried it twice. When they first started acting up. Before they got really violet. Some of our folks have biotics, so they put one of the Keepers inside a barrier. Well, the little fella didn't care for that. They don't talk, of course, or make any sounds at all. It just silently threw itself against the barrier until it broke through and the biotic nearly suffered brain damage from keeping up his barrier through he pummeling the critter gave it. Next time we went with more classic methods. We tried to sedate one, but its skin was too tough to get a tranc needle into. We managed to pen the bugger in an old building, but before we could do much else it must have called its buddies somehow because we got overrun and had to retreat.”

Shepard was flummoxed. One thing was sure, Bailey and his crew couldn't hold out for much longer against the onslaught. Should she call in the Alliance to clean the place out? Scorch some earth and start over? Maybe they should leave the Citadel for the moment. Let it float dead, like the dead Reapers. Another empty husk in space. There was a crash nearby followed by yelling. A harried looking solider rushed in, bleeding and dusty. “Sir, one our barricades is down! We have to get out, now!”

“Right,” Bailey pulled up the thumbtacks holding his map in place. He hastily folded the map and gestured towards Shepard. “Commander, if you wouldn't mind taking the lead.”

“Right,” she said, nodding curtly. “Kirrahe, you command the left flank, Garrus, the right. I'll take center. Let's get these people out of here. Joker!” she spoke into her Omni-tool.

“Joker here.”

“Bring the Normandy around. We're doing a full evac. Be prepared to get out of here fast when we're done.”

“Yes ma'am. On my way,” Joker said.

“Right,” Shepard turned to the task at hand and threw herself into it, wholeheartedly. Leading expertly, she managed to get Bailey's men into formation and begin to punch their way through the Keeper ranks towards the bay where Joker would be waiting. The going was slow, but the men were bolstered by the knowledge that Shepard was leading them. Every time she shouted an order their morale seemed to improve. Realizing this she tried to be as vocal as possible as she led them out.

There was a part of her mind that wasn't focused on the task at hand, however. It gnawed at her. A wheedling, pesky feeling that she'd lost again. That somewhere that child was laughing. She bit the inside of her cheek. It was already raw from her previous tense chewing. Was it just her PTSD acting up, or was there something to this feeling of repeated defeat? At least she knew one thing now. Her “victory” over the Reapers had not been the end. Far from it. Whatever the Keepers were doing, it was part of a larger plan. She wasn't sure how, but she knew she would have to return to the Citadel.

The fight was hard-won, but they managed to reach the Normandy and get everyone on board. Then Joker took off like an arrow from a bow, heading for the nearest Alliance cruiser, the Boston, which was waiting to take on the Citadel crew.

“You seemed to have saved my bacon again, Shepard,” said Bailey as she got him and his people settled in the Normandy's cargo hold for the ride to the Boston.

“I'm good at that, apparently,” Shepard laughed. She tried to be as upbeat and friendly as possible, going around and shaking hands with Bailey's men. They were all elated to meet her. She felt that familiar pang. They all thought she was a hero, but what they thought she'd ended may have only been beginning. She hoped she could finish it once and for all before anyone else got hurt, but she doubted that was possible.

“I want to go back to the Citadel,” she whispered to Garrus, in a free moment. Her turian mate was almost as popular with Bailey's people as she was.

“Me too,” he said under his breath as he shook more eager hands. “I don't like how that went down. I bet a smaller team could infiltrate.”

“Maybe,” she agreed, smiling and waving at some excited C-sec officers. “We'll want to go in smart. I'd hate to be caught with my pants down by all those Keepers.”

“Is that likely to happen?” Garrus tilted his head, confusion on his face.

“Sorry, it's a human expression. I mean I don't want to be unprepared.”

“Riiiight,” he nodded, though she could tell he still thought the saying was a bit ridiculous.

“I also want to talk to Liara. See if she has any hunches about what the Keepers might be doing. Her knowledge as the Shadow Broker might be able to bring something to light.”

“Agreed.”

With Bailey and his crew freshly deposited on The Boston, Shepard went to see Liara. Tali, Garrus and Kaidan went with her, as they all knew their asari friend was the fabled Shadow Broker.

“I've been keeping myself updated with the doctors who are studying the people you brought back from the Reaper,” Liara said. She sat across from Shepard in the empty dining area.

“How are they?” Tali asked, tensely wringing her hands.

“The same,” Liara lowered her eyes sadly. “It is as though they are in a trance. They speak very little, and what they do say isn't helpful. Just talking about emptiness. One of them did say something about waiting.”

“Waiting?” Shepard raised an eyebrow. “Waiting for a signal maybe? Like the Keepers?”

“Maybe,” Liara nodded.

“Well that's not ominous at all,” said Garrus.

“So what do we do?” Kaidan asked. His voice sounded weary and his shoulders slumped. Shepard remembered that he had born the brunt of the biotic shielding earlier that day. She could see the white of his eye still darkened with blood from the burst vessel.

“Kaidan, do you need to turn in?” she asked.

“No, I'm fine,” he waved her concern away with a hand.

“So what do we think about the Keepers?” Tali questioned. “Could they be using the bodies to try to build another human-Reaper? Like the one you killed at the Collector base?”

“Doubtful,” said Liara. “They used live humans for that. The Keepers are only gathering dead bodies.”

“What if they're confused?” Garrus put in. “Because the Reapers are dead. Maybe they're programmed to do something like this, but without the Reapers to give instruction, they're just blank. Running on old instinct.”

“That's the best theory we have,” agreed Liara.

“For the moment they aren't hurting anyone,” Kaidan added, “We're all off the station. It's demoralizing that we can't gather our dead, but otherwise, if we leave them be, what could they do?”

“Could they move the Citadel? Like the Reapers did?” Shepard suggested. “Close the arms maybe?”

“What good would that do?” Garrus asked.

“I'm not sure, but I think they have lot more power than we ever gave them credit for.” Shepard rested her chin on her hand.

“I feel stupid on behalf of my people,” Liara sighed, rubbing her temples. “Don't we know enough to always be suspicious of things being too easy? Finding a space station floating empty, with its own willing caregivers? We should have suspected. Or at did more thorough research.”

“Seems like this galaxy can only be suspicious of the wrong things,” said Garrus, rubbing the back of his neck wearily. “We turians went to war with the humans without so much as a 'hello', but do we suspect the little creatures running around the Citadel of evil? Nope.”

“Don't get me started on trying to get everyone to believe us about Saren and the Reapers,” Tali rolled her eyes, an expression everyone could appreciate even through her visor.

“It can't be helped now,” Shepard cut in. “We just have to move forward.”

“How?” Kaidan asked.

“I'm not sure. Let's sleep on it and reconvene in the morning.

“Sounds good,” everyone agreed, standing up with much stretching and yawning.

“Shepard, can I talk to you, alone?” Shepard felt a gentle tap on her shoulder.

“Sure Kaidan. What's up?”


	16. Signal

Part 16  
Signal

“Let's head to my quarters, Commander,” Kaidan offered.

Shepard nodded, “I'll be back soon,” she assured Garrus, “don't feel the need to wait up.” She could see her turian mate was as worn out as she was. He nodded, walking with Tali towards the lift.

Shepard followed Kaidan to his small quarters on the crew deck. She had insisted he have his own room, though for some time he had been barracked with the rest of the crew. Once inside he tossed off his jacket and gestured for her to have a seat on his small couch. Shepard sighed, “Kaidan, I think I know what this is about.”

“You do?” he asked, eyebrow raised.

“Yes. You're upset because you can't go with us on missions that have the threat of indoctrination.” she watched him as he pulled a clean shirt out of a drawer and stripped off his sweaty under-armor. She caught herself admiring his lean, muscular form. She smiled to herself. After all, she was engaged, not dead. He slipped on a fresh T-shirt, turning to face her with an expectant look, as if urging her to continue speaking.

“Maybe you also worry that you have already been indoctrinated, or at least begun the process due to the contact we have already had with Reapers.”

“Hmmmm,” he pursed his lips, walking across the room, arms folded.

“Hmmmm?” she crossed her legs, leaning back. “Am I wrong?”

“Well, yes and no,” Kaidan went into his bathroom and emerged with a bottle of pills. He shook the bottle towards her, “pain killers. Need any?”

“No, my legs have been alright,” Shepard answered. She leaned forward with concern, “migraine?”

“Naw,” he waved her off, then popped two orange pills into his mouth, swallowing without water. “Just a headache. To be expected. The old L2 just isn't up for the work I put it through sometimes,” he tapped the side of his head with his palm, smiling crookedly. Then he sat down beside her on the couch.

“So, why did you want to talk to me?” Shepard asked.

In answer he leaned his shoulder against hers. His weight felt familiar. A burden she bore willingly. She felt his trust. A trust she had had to re-earn after the affair with Cerberus. This felt like old times. Well, old times without the sex. “You've spent time with Tali, Garrus (of course), heck, even Kirrahe, now that you're back on your feet, but have you and I had time for a reality check since we found you?”

“Since you found me,” she said, recalling who it was who carried her broken body from the rubble on the Citadel.

“Right. To be honest, I was getting jealous. We used to be pretty close, Shepard. And no, I'm not just talking about the physical stuff.” He sat back up, looking her in the eye. His expression firm. “I understand that you're with Garrus now. I just want you to know that. I'm not flirting with you here. Garrus is the only person I would be alright losing you to. Mostly because he could break me in half,” he chuckled. “But seriously, this-” he gestured to the two of them. “This is us. Being friends again.”

“Do you remember the Kaidan I first met?” Shepard's mouth quirked into a smile. “The one who was nervous about even talking to his commanding officer about anything but mission briefings?”

“Hey, I'm a Spectre now, too. We're on even footing,” he leaned back against her shoulder.

“True. If Spectres are more than a title these days,” she laughed. “With the old council dead, I don't know if our Spectre status counts for anything but a conversation piece.”

“True. You want anything to drink?”

“Sure.”

“Alright, watch this,” Kaidan sat up. “The best biotics can target tiny portions of the brain. Burst a single blood vessel in an enemy. I'm not quite that good but...” his face took on a look of concentration, focused on the mini-fridge across the room.

Shepard watched as an electric blue light wrapped around Kaidan, and then the handle of the fridge. It flickered, failed a few times, then the door popped open. “Very nice,” Shepard said, clapping.

“I'm not done,” Kaidan gave her a cocky smile. He held out a hand, palm up, and twitched his fingertips. A tiny singularity floated out, bringing with it two beers. The glass bottles orbited, occasionally clinking into one another as they floated across the room. Kaidan plucked them out of the air and the blue light around him faded. He exhaled in a huff and slumped against Shepard, laughing. He wiped a trickle of blood from under his nose. “Worth it.” He handed her a beer.

“You've been holding out on me, Kaidan,” Shepard said, taking the proffered drink.

“Maybe,” he smiled, opening his own beer with a twist of the cap. “Sorry the brew is so cheap. I got in on earth, and things are a bit hectic down there. Now. Hockey or Curling?”

“Your what hurts now?” Shepard asked, confused.

“Hockey it is,” Kaidan pressed a few buttons on the arm of his couch and a screen appeared in front of them. On it people skated around with sticks, presumably engaging in some sort of sporting event. “This is my favorite game. Obviously no new ones are being played. End of the galaxy and everything.”

Shepard laughed taking a swig of the truly disgusting beer and little noticing. She raised her arm, which Kaidan had been leaning against, and he willingly slumped down so his head was on her lap. His legs were tucked up a bit awkwardly, but he didn't seem to notice. He trailed an arm off the couch and she watched the light from the screen reflect off his features. “I'm glad you're you, Kaidan.” she said.

“Getting all mushy on me?” he asked, his eyes flicking up to meet hers.

“Not many people would be as understanding as you. I mean, I did sort of break your heart.”

“I broke yours too. We're even,” he reached up with his beer and clinked it against hers. “I spent a lot of time angry, I will admit that,” he sighed, letting his arm drop again. “After a while I realized that it was stupid. That the reason I was so pissed was because I couldn't have you any more. Not just the sex. I mean, I wasn't in your life, you weren't in mine. If I stayed mad, you never would be. When you shot Udina, so I didn't have to, I realized that you were still you. I decided to get over myself and be your friend again.”

“Was it worth it?” Shepard asked, “I can be a tough person to get along with.”

“Well, you're bull headed, a bit of an ass sometimes, not always considerate of other people's situations...”

Shepard raised her hand in mock striking distance.

“But yeah,” Kaidan laughed, “it's worth it.”

She felt his shoulders relax completely, his head still resting against her thigh. “Alright, Kaidan,” she smiled settling herself back into the couch and taking another swig of the cheap beer. “Now, please explain this game to me. I have no idea what's going on.”

~~~~~

She was in the dark forest again. Black mist swirled around her. She looked instinctively for the child, but he wasn't there. No one was there. Not even the inky shadow people. She could move, slowly, so she began to walk. Then she heard something.

“Shepard Commander.”

“Legion?” she spun, trying to see him. There was nothing. No one.

“Shepard Commander, help us!”

“Legion, where are you?!”

“Help us! Help us! Helps us!” his cry became rhythmic. She spun in place, eyes straining to see through the dead trees all around. His voice pounded in her head, like an attack. “Help us! Help us! Help us!

She woke up with such a start she knocked Kaidan off the couch. He hit the floor with a thud and a groggy “ouch.”

“Oh, god, Kaidan, I'm sorry!” Shepard bent down to help him.

“Did we fall asleep?' Kaidan rubbed blearily at his eyes.

“Yeah,” Shepard yawned, realizing that Legion's insistent voice in her dream was being echoed by the buzz of Kaidan's comm. “That's probably Garrus wondering where I am,” Shepard stood, tapping the answer button as Kaidan slowly stretched and picked up their two empty beer bottles. The room was dark except for the hockey game still playing on the screen. Shepard blinked at the brightness of the vid-comm, expecting to see her mate's annoyed face. “Liara? What is it? What's wrong?”

Kaidan joined Shepard, concern shining in his sleepy eyes.

Liara too looked as though she too had been wakened by something. The asari wasted no time. “Shepard, you had better get down here. I've made contact!”

Shepard and Kaidan both sprang up as one, almost colliding in their hurry to reach the door. Shepard was glad that Kaidan's quarters were so close to Liara's. No long ride in the lift. Briefly she wondered what Liara might think of Shepard still being in Kaidan's room, but she quickly dismissed the worry from her mind as she entered the Shadow Broker's office.

Liara was wearing a flattering white nightgown and staring intently at one of her screens. Light reflected on the asari's excited face. “Shepard, I've reached someone at the Illusive Man's base! You'll never believe who it is!”

Liara moved so that Shepard could peer at the screen. “Balak?!”

Staring back at her were the four eyes of the batarian general. He looked worse for the wear. He stood hunched, hand clasped to his side, where blood seeped from a seemingly recent wound. “Commander Shepard. I can truthfully say this was the last place I expected to see you! When the asari informed me that you were not only alive, but aboard the ship, I was skeptical.”

“Balak, are you alright? What's happening?” Shepard pulled a chair over and sat, dark eyes lit with confusion and concern.

“No. Things are not alright,” the batarian answered in his deep voice. He paused, glancing over his shoulder as though something might be coming for him. “What the hell happened in the Sol system? We lost contact with you. None of the Mass Relays will reach you. We assumed the Reapers had set a trap and you were all dead.”

“You have live Relays?” Shepard leaned forward, feeling Kaidan and Liara do the same behind her.

“Of course. Can I assume by that that you don't?”

“They all went inactive. I thought that this was the case for the galaxy as well. We also lost communication with the outside, which is obvious. We're trapped here. What's going on?”

“What about the Reapers in Sol?” Balak asked, shifting his weight uncomfortably and shooting another backward glance.

“Dead.”

“Dead?” Balak sounded skeptical.

“Yes,” it took Shepard's weary mind a moment to catch up. “They're not dead in the rest of the galaxy, are they?” her heart was suddenly beating very fast.

“No. Why would they...that doesn't matter,” Balank winced and swayed.

Shepard reached a hand forward, touching the screen with her fingertips. Every fiber of her wanted to be there. The fight was still going on! People needed her! “Balak! You hold on, we'll figure this out! I just need as much information as you can give me!”

The batarian swallowed, reaching a bloodstained hand towards the Illusive Man's chair. He pulled it over, sitting down and facing her with a determined expression. “Right. What I know is this. You and the Victory Fleet went to Sol. So did most of the Reapers. Most, but certainly not all. There are still Reapers on all of the main home-worlds. Surkesh. Palaven.”

“But we saved Palaven! The korgan-”

“Were forced to retreat,” Balak exhaled, wearily. “The turian home-world is being overrun, just like the rest.”

Shepard swallowed the gigantic lump in her throat. She felt Liara's steadying hand on her shoulder, grateful for her friend. Shepard voiced her fears aloud. “And there isn't much military left to combat them. The Reapers planned this. When they saw they might lose the war, they drew us all to the Sol system, then killed themselves, leaving the rest of their people alive to conquer the rest of the galaxy.”

“Seems that way,” Liara breathed.

“Balak, are you alright?” Shepard's hand was up to the screen again. “Can you get out, find someone else to talk to me here? Can you fortify the Illusive Man's base?”

“Maybe,” the batarian grimaced, clutching his side. “I had a full crew when I came here. Husks. Got my people. I managed to come out alive...” he lifted his bloody hand so she could see, “for the moment. Still, I don't think the Reapers are playing much attention to this base. Strangely enough, they're having the most trouble with Omega. That blue bitch Aria won't quit.” He smiled crookedly.

Shepard smirked inwardly. She had known there was a reason she'd retaken the Omega station for the crime lord. Aria was, if possible, even fiercer than Shepard herself. “Alright Balak. If you can, try to communicate with Jacob Taylor. Him, or Kasumi Goto.”

“If you can't find them,” Liara piped up, “a drell called Feron may be able to help you.”

“Right,” Balak said. He met Shepard's eyes, reaching up he put his own fingertips against the screen, under hers. “We thought you all were dead. There's been a lot of despair here. Not from me personally,” his mouth quirked into a snarky smile, “but knowing you're alive...that will go a long way.”

“Just, see if you can find my people. I'll come up with a plan. And Balak. Stay alive.”

“I'll try,” he nodded, his hand falling from the screen, leaving a smear of blood. “If you don't hear from me in two days, take that to mean I didn't follow your last order.”

“Alright,” Shepard breathed, her voice shaking. Balak discontinued the call.

“Computer!” Shepard shouted, as though the machine needed to be wakened.

“Yes Commander,” the synthetic voice chirped, as cheery as ever.

“Wake the crew and have them assemble in the briefing room now! This is an emergency, and this is not a drill!


	17. Scream

Part 17  
Scream

“Alright people, talk to me! Throw me some ideas!” Shepard paced, her well muscled arms crossed over her chest. She could feel her own heart thudding against her forearm and it was all she could do to keep herself under control. Faces kept flashing in her vision. Casualties of the Reaper war. Casualties of her mistakes. Her skin vibrated with angry energy like bees walked over her. One wrong move and they'd all sting, killing her outright.

The rest of her crew was there in the briefing room as well. Only Joker sat. Everyone else ignored the chairs, pacing, sometimes bumping into one another. Their faces were tense. Some still wore their pajamas. Liara was not there in person, but her tired face was visible on a small screen in the middle of the oval table. She was monitoring the transmission from the Illusive Man's base.

“So the Reapers are alive and well in the rest of the galaxy?” Vega asked for the third time. No one seemed able to wrap their heads around it. The home worlds they had thought they were protecting, now conquered by the Reapers.

Tali was crying quietly. Grunt had a hand on the guairan's delicate shoulder as she hugged herself, shaking. “They wouldn't have been able to hold Rannoch. Not with most of the geth here,” Tali sniffed. “My home world is lost again.”

Garrus stalked like a wild thing, mandibles flared. “Palaven was holding. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.”

“Are the geth alive out there?” Joker asked his voice quiet, almost lost amidst all the frenzied, directionless motion.

“I don't know,” Shepard admitted. She reached out and Garrus crossed the room, taking her hand firmly in his own. “Liara, anything?”

“Not yet,” the asari answered. Liara's voice was the firmest. The least hysterical. Shepard was grateful for her friend. Who would have guessed that the frightened asari scientists that Shepard had rescued from a cave years ago would be one of the strongest people she knew?

“I just...I just need to talk this out,” Joker said, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair. “The Reapers here died when you activated the Crucible. Maybe the Crucible weapons range just didn't reach outside the system. It would make sense. We're a long way away from anywhere else.”

“Maybe,” Kirrahe said, pacing around to stand near Joker. “This doesn't feel right. The Reapers must have known it was dangerous, otherwise why would they all come here to stop us from using it? Why not just let us fire it off and disarm a few nearby Reapers and our own geth troops?”

Shepard squeezed Garrus' hand and let go to begin pacing again. “Right. So the Reapers wanted to stop us from activating the Crucible. They sent the Citadel to earth. We followed with the victory fleet...”

“Why earth, do you think?” Kaidan raised his head, having previously been studying his shoes.

Shepard blinked. “Why earth? That's a good question. Why bring the Citadel to earth for the last battle? Why gather in the Sol system?”

“It's secluded,” Liara suggested.

“Other systems are just as secluded.”

“It has humans.”

“Right,” Shepard tapped her lips with her finger. “It has the greatest concentration of humans.”

“Didn't Mordin say something about humans and Reapers?” Garrus titled his head, trying to remember. “We were on a mission together. Tuchanka, I think...”

“Yes,” Shepard snapped her fingers as she recalled, “he said the Reapers were targeting humans. Because of our genetic diversity. We'd make the best replacement Reapers. Well, our DNA would.”

“Turns out we're also the most likely to have that thing in our brains,” Joker sat forward. “That thing that blocks indoctrination.”

“So maybe they came here in hopes of knocking out a threat, and using the remaining humans to make more Reapers?” Kaidan sounded unsure.

“But why bring the Crucible here if they knew it would kill them?” Liara asked from the screen.

“Maybe it didn't kill them,” Tali straightened up, her voice less tearful. “Remember, Shepard, how I showed you that we were monitoring the Crucibles power output when you fired it?”

“Yes! You said it didn't seem like it fired! Not really!”

“Oh shit,” Joker exhaled.

Silence reigned for a long moment. Everyone had stopped moving. They stared at one another, eyes wide with realization. The only sound was the hum of the Normandy's engines.

Garrus broke the silence. “They aren't dead.” It wasn't a question. His voice was barely above a whisper but everyone heard. No one breathed.

“Oh shit. Oh SHIT!” Joker exclaimed, tossing his hat on the floor. “We got played, didn't we?!”

Shepard's heart did a complicated dance in her chest. She'd been conned. Taken for a fool. Doomed thousands of people for even less reason than before. She'd screwed them all by being such an idiot. Her knees wanted to buckle, but she wouldn't let them. Her hands balled into fists. If there was one thing she hated, it was being tricked. Bile burned up through her veins. “Alert the Flotilla and the Fleet! I'll contact the Alliance myself. Someone get Stone on the comm with his people. Grunt, inform the krogan! This was ain't over!” she roared.

Everyone moved at once and there was a bit of a traffic jam at the door. Shepard felt someone grab her hips and pull her gently back. Her first instinct was to fight, but she forced it down, turning to see her mate holding her. His small eyes were shining in the dim light of the briefing room. Gently he reached down and cupped her jaw in one hand. They didn't need words. A hundred thoughts passed between them without either opening their mouth.

I'm so sorry about Palaven.

Don't blame yourself for this!

I'm sure your father and sister are alright.

We will solve this. You will. We believe in you!

What would I do without you?  
What would I do without you?

Their lips met. His arms around her waist, pulling her on tiptoe. Her hands reached up for his face, fingertips caressing every scar, every line. Memorizing the contours of his features. The kiss was desperate. As though without it they each might die. As though they could only breath if their mouths were touching. And then it ended and she slipped her hand back into his, walking together out into the ship.

~~~

Shepard pulled on her helmet, hearing the familiar hiss as it sealed, locking in her air. “Hudd, activate,” she barked, and a small screen blinked to life in front of her right eye. She glanced around the armory. Garrus, Tali, Grunt, and Kirrahe were all suiting up. She had ordered that everyone get some rest before this mission, but she suspected they had been able to sleep about as well as she had.

“Chakwas, have you got the data back yet?” Shepard addressed her voice towards the room in general, knowing a comm link was open with the Medbay.

“In progress, Commander. Stone, Cadel and I are working overtime. Looking for a tiny brain defect in thousands of scans is no easy task.”

“Didn't we make a program to help with that?” Tali asked as she snapped her shotgun into place above her tailbone.

“We're a bit pressed for time at the moment. We didn't know there would be such a rush. The prgram can't handle the load.” Cadel's was the one who answered. He sounded a little breathless.

“I am working on upgrading it as I help,” Stone's strange voice came over the Comm next.

“You can do both things at once?” Shepard asked, eyebrow raised.

“Humans cannot?”

“No. Not so much,” Shepard tried to stifle a laugh. And people had thought she was stupid for recruiting the rachni. “Well, keep the reports going out. The more people we have who can safely enter the Reaper ships, the better.”

“Indeed, Commander. Medbay out.”

“Are you ready?” she asked her team.

“Not sure what I'm supposed to do,” Grunt growled, “there won't be anything to hit. You've got Tali and the salarian-”

“Kirrahe,” Kirrahe corrected with a tinge of annoyance in his voice. He had been correcting Grunt all morning.

“Whatever. You have them for the tech. You've got Garrus working on weapons. What am I supposed to do?”

“You're security,” Shepard said, clicking her arm flashlight on and off to ensure it was working. “We don't know what we'll run into on that thing.”

“I barely fit in the shuttle,” the young krogan griped, though not loudly. “And what am I supposed to do if the Reaper suddenly come to life, punch it from the inside?”

“We have to hope that doesn't happen,” Shepard said, her jaw tight, “The one we boarded before did not react at all. I think they're waiting for something. We have to get over there and figure this out before something does happen. We have to find a way to take them out completely.”

~~~~

Soon they were on their way, Joker at the shuttle's helm, Shepard hovering behind him. Behind her the rest of her team tried to fir comfortably around Grunt, Garrus having the most issue. “Make sure we maintain radio contact with the Alliance, the Fleet and the Flotilla,” she reminded Joker.

“Yes ma'am, all lines open,” the pilot said. He seemed to be feeling more confident about this trip to their nearest Reaper. Perhaps it was the knowledge that other Reapers were being approached by the turians, quarians, and the human Alliance fleet. Chakwas had been able to organize brain scans quickly enough to dispatch several small ships, crewed only by those who were resistant to indoctrination.

Shepard leaned over Joker's shoulder and tapped a button on his control panel. “All ships, this is Commander Shepard, report in.”

“You know,” Joker had to slouch to stay clear of her arm, “Most captains would have just asked the pilot to hit that button. Seeing as I am, in fact, within easy reach.”

“I'm a hands-on type of commander,” Shepard said, tapping the brim of his hat with a swat of her hand. The hat went down over Joker's eyes, but his complaints were drowned out by the replies from Shepard's little fleet.

“This is Commander Bastion of the turian light cruiser Justice, reporting in.”

“This is Captain Ryaan'tal vas Uvek of the quarian shuttle craft Tyr, reporting in. All is well, Commander.”

“This is Captain Pike of the human frigate Tiberius, reporting in and good to go.”

“Alright, keep your teams tight and make sure you always have an excite strategy. Remember the plan. We are attempting to locate a bridge or command center and to learn as much as we can. It is imperative that we find a way to destroy this monsters. You've all been given your packets with our top secret information inside. It is for your eyes alone. Once we have determined how to fly these fuckers, we'll reconvene and formulate a plan to fly them into earth's sun. Are we clear?”

Three “yes ma'am's” chorused back.

“Whichever of us finds something first will relay this information to the other units. Ryaan'tal, you have the smallest team, but your people are the most specialized. I have high hopes for your team.”

“No pressure,” the quarian laughed.

“Alright, Reaper Killers, let's make our approach.”

Inside the seemingly dead creature everything was as Shepard remembered it. Kirrahe brought up the map he had created on his Omni-tool. “Alright, everyone stay sharp. We're finding that control center if it takes all day.”

Shepard wasn't sure how many hours had passed. She stopped playing attention. The walked down hallway after hallway, each exactly the same as the last. It was only Kirrahe's constant mapping that kept them on track. “We should be nearing the heart of the Reaper,” the salarian informed them. “Not the literal heart, of course,” he clarified hastily, “by the core of the ship. I suspect it may house an engine room, or bridge.”

“Right,” Shepard said. Her tone was weary. Though she and her team were in no danger from indoctrination, there was still something about the empty, identical corridors that made Shepard feel uneasy. For a while she had been on edge, forcing her team to you proper military procedure to go around every corner they came to. Now she merely stuck her head around, and when she saw nothing, waved them onward. “I wouldn't be surprised if we found a whole lot of nothing though.”

“Commander Shepard,” a voice rang over the comm.

After so much silence Shepard jumped, then raised a finger to the side of her helmet, “Go ahead.”

“This is Ryaan'Tal. We've found what we believe in the Reaper's brain, Commander.”

“You what?” Shepard gestured for her crew to join the conversation on their own comm systems.

“Found its brain. What's more, it appears to be half tech, half organic. We think we may be able to hack the tech.”

“Alright, but be careful,” Shepard said. Her skin prickled again, but this time not with excitement, but concern. Something, perhaps an instinct, was telling her something was wrong. She couldn't put her finger on what. Neither she, nor her crew, moved as they awaited news from the quarian team.

“Commander, I think we've got something,” Ryaan'Tal's voice came again.

Shepard opened her mouth to ask what he had discovered when the Reaper they were in gave a shudder, similar to the one Tali had induced the first time. Everything was still again, and Shepard felt her breath get quicker, her fight or flight already triggering. Shepard had always leaned heavily towards the 'fight' response, but what could she or her team do to a monster they were already inside?

“What-” Tali began.

Suddenly Shepard's mind exploded with pain. A sound, at once a roar and a piercing scream, filled her ears. Was it her ears? Her hand fumbled with a dial on the side of her helmet, closing off external sound, but still the noise persisted, boring into her brain like a drill into a tooth. It was all she could do not to add her own scream to the mix. She distantly heard the gasping yelp of Ryaan'Tal over the comm. She managed to raise her head. Her eyes watered and she had to force them to remain open.

Tali was on the ground. Garrus and Kirrahe were doubled over, clutching their heads. Grunt seemed completely dazed, his eyes wide and staring. It took Shepard a moment to realize that her helmet was still soundproof, and she switched it back, hearing her team's yells of surprise and agony. The Reaper shuddered again.

“Get out!” she shouted, trying to focus. “We need to get out!” She was shouting over the noise in her head, with no idea what her vocal volume needed to be. Her team didn't move. She focused her mind as best she could. Staggering, she reached Kirrahe and grabbed his thin upper arm. “Major, the map! Guide us out of here!”

It took Kirrahe a moment to respond, but soon his Omni-tool glowed on his arm. The orange light seeming too bright in Shepard's streaming eyes. She moved on to Garrus, grasping her lover's hand, “We have to move! Follow Kirrahe,” she shouted. Then she turned and grabbed Grunt's armor, giving him a shake, “Grunt, you need to carry Tali!”

Grunt seemed to snap out of his trance more quickly than the other two, striding over to the fallen quarian and scooping her into his arms. Shepard called into her comm then. “Can anyone out there hear me?”

“Commander?!” it took her a long moment to recognize the voice. It was the human commander, Pike. “What the hell?” he gasped.

“It's happening to you too?” Shepard asked as she and her team began to struggle back the way they had come.

“The noise! It won't stop!” Yelled the turian commander in Shepard's ear.

“Get out!” she instructed them, though she guessed they were likely doing just that already. Kirrahe stumbled against her and she instinctively pulled the salarian's arm over her shoulder before he could fall. She almost tripped over her own feet at the wailing roar in her mind went on and on. It never stopped for breath. Never wavered in pitch or intensity, just drove itself deeper and deeper into her brain. She chewed fiercely on her lip, fighting the agony and nausea.

“Joker?” she questioned next.

“Here!” came the pilot's weak reply.

“Joker, you hang on! We're coming!” she shouted.

It seemed to take them forever to reach the shuttle. By that time Kirrahe was barely able to walk and Grunt had almost dropped Tali. He was now leaning against Garrus and the two were supporting one another along. Kirrahe managed to keep his arm held out, map visible on the back of his hand. Shepard guided them as best she could. She could feel her mind giving up. It wanted to her to pass out. What a relief that would be, her weary brain coaxed her. Her lip was bleeding from where she was biting it. Finally she saw the shuttle where it was docked. She and her team struggled aboard. As she had feared, the noise was just as bad there as it had been on the Reaper itself.

Joker glanced weakly over his shoulder to ensure everyone was aboard, then gunned the shuttle into action without waiting for orders. He didn't even retract the docking clamps. Shepard faintly heard the sheering of metal as the clamps tore free of the little vessel, remaining attached to the Reaper. Shepard fought the urge to collapse, instead managing to reach Joker and grabbing his shoulder. Her grip may have been too strong because she saw the pilot wince, but he did not ask to her move her hand.

Shepard hadn't been aware that the little shuttle could go so fast. It swung drunkenly through space as Joker struggled with the screaming in his own head, but it did so at a rapid pace. Slowly the sound lessened to a dull screech, then stopped all together. Joker tapped a few controls and the shuttle slowed to a more manageable cruising speed. Shepard watched in astonishment as Joker turned on the auto-pilot, something she had never seen him do in all their time together. He slouched back in his chair with an exhaled breath, then reached up and pried Shepard's fingers from his shoulder. “That's going to leave a mark,” he smiled wanly at her.

“Sorry,” Shepard flexed her hand, realizing how tight her muscles had been. She turned back to her team. “Status,” she barked, falling back on her military nature.

“Tali's still out. I don't know how bad she is,” Garrus replied, running his Omni-tool over the quarian's limp form. She was still cradled like a rag doll in Grunt's arms. There was not room to set her down.

“Damn, what was that?” the krogan asked, his tone was angry. Shepard knew that, like her, he hated an enemy he could not see, or face head on.

“I don't know. Joker, patch me in with our little fleet,” she ordered. “All ships, report in!”

“This is Pike. I got my people off and away. Not sure about our other two teams. We're near the Justice, do you want us to fly over and see if the turian are alright?”

“Negative,” Shepard said, her voice husky and dry. “Get clear. Rendezvous with the Normandy as soon as you can. I want to know what the fuck just happened.”


	18. Struggling

Part 18  
Struggling

Shepard and jogged to the medbay, the door hissing open as she approached. As she and her shuttle crew made their way through the ship, they had picked up concerned tag-alongs in the form of Kaidan and Vega. Shepard ignored them.

“Shepard?” Chakwas looked up from her work.

The commander stood in the doorway, ushering her away team past her. Tali was still limp in Grunt's arms. To Shepard's surprise, Cadel rushed forward and took the quarian's still form into his own arms, taking her to a biobed and laying her down gently.

“What the hell happened?” Chakwas asked, standing hurriedly and bustling around to gather her wayward instruments and scanners.

Shepard explained what they had all been exposed to as she watched Chakwas run her Omni-tool hastily over each away-team member in turn, before turning her attention back to Tali. Stone and Cadel did their best to help, acting as nurses. It was strange to see the rachni scuttling around, holding the tools that Chakwas would need in several limbs.

“I feel fine now,” Shepard was finishing her story. She stood beside her bio-bed, having only deigned to sit on it for the few moments it took Chakwas to scan her. “Garrus? Joker?”

“Slight headache,” Garrus admitted, running his hand over his crest, distractedly.

“Same,” Joker sat with his hands in his lap, twisted into tight fists.

Shepard could feel her people's fear and tension. She hated it. Like the taste of blood in her mouth. Her own heart was still beating quickly. Still ready to fight. She was barely keeping her anger under control for the sake of her men. She prodded her lip with her tongue where she had chewed a deep gouge. She tasted the zest of pain ad focused on it, rather than her rage.

“You don't seemed to have sustained any lasting damage,” said Chakwas. “Tali will be alright as well. The pain caused her to pass out. I've given her a sedative, so she can continue to sleep it off. She'll probably feel better than the rest of you in a few hours. As for what happened to you, I'm not certain. It's clear your brains were attacked, but I don't know how or why.”

“I can guess the why,” said Joker. “One of the quarian's poked a Reaper, and it didn't like that.”

Everyone was silent for a long moment. Shepard felt her breath coming in panicked little huffs as Kaidan finally spoke what they were all thinking. “If the Reapers reacted to one of them having its brain touched...doesn't that mean they're, awake now?”

No one answered him. “Computer,” Shepard snapped, her voice too loud. “Is there any activity-- energy out-put, any sign of life, from the Reapers?”

“Negative, Commander,” the computer responded in its monotone, as though this was all perfectly normal and not a perfectly good reason to piss yourself.

Cadel was looking at Chakwas' scans of the away-team. “Judging from the parts of your brains that lit up on this scan, you were all attacked by a form of the indoctrination. If you had not all been resistant you certainly would have succumbed immediately. Reapers have the power, in a crisis, to indoctrinate those aboard them instantly. I think this was a very effective test of my theories.”

“Test of your theories?” Shepard rounded on the scientist. “TEST OF YOUR THEORIES?!” she backed him against the wall. He cowered, arms raised to protect his face.

“Shepard!” Chakwas said, her tone stern, like a mother scolding a child.

“You mean to tell me that if you'd been wrong we would have all ended up mindless husks?! You put my people in mortal danger and now you just sit there celebrating your theory? The Reapers are probably not still alive and you're patting yourself on the back?!” she raised a fist and before anyone could react she slammed it into the bulkhead beside the terrified Cadel's ear. She turned in a smart about-face, and marched out of the medbay, ignoring the calls for her to 'wait' or 'come back'.

She gritted her teeth, heading for the lift at top speed. The door closed her in before anyone could catch her. The lift crawled downward as she stood, silent and stiff as a rock, eyes front. Once inside the empty hanger bay she allowed herself to scream. She allowed the bile sitting in her chest to be free. Her yell, more like a roar than anything, rattled the bulkheads and echoed all around her. She marched over to where vega kept his punching bag and went after it with bare knuckles, pounding again and again, not feeling the pain as the fine bones in her hands protested. Sweat flew from her forehead, mixing with blood that spattered from her lip.

She didn't hear him come in. Barely noticed as he moved to hold the punching bag. She just kept striking and striking. She raised her knee for a brutal blow. Her elbows, one, two! She kicked. The sheer power of it almost knocked Garrus off his feet. He came around the punching bag then, still wearing his armor from the mission, as she was her own. He tackled her to the floor. They tangled, Shepard moving with practiced efficiency to dislodge him. Her body was running on muscle memory. No other thoughts invaded her mind as she and Garrus grappled.

She got to her feet and he leaped to his. She threw some punches, to judge how quick he was. Very quick. He dodged her blows easily, then brought in a few of his own. The turian martial fighting style was unlike anything Shepard had ever trained against. At once rigid and fluid, combing both turian militaristic precision and the speed and grace of a predator. Shepard found her own training in hand to hand combat sorely tested. She was smaller, and more lithe than Garrus, and she was able to wriggle out of most of his holds. Even through her armor his fists hit like hammers. He didn't pull a single punch.

She swept at his legs, he danced away. He moved to grapple her into another hold, but she slid nimbly from his grip. The two went on and on until they both collapsed with a clang of their armor against the metal of the floor. They crawled towards one another until their foreheads were touching. Shepard was drenched in sweat. Her armor was going to need a thorough wash. Turians did not sweat, but she could feel the heat being released from the membrane behind his mandibles. They both panted. She raised an arm and rested her hand on the back of his neck. They remained in that position for several minutes.

Then they rose, neither of them uttering a sound. Garrus watched her eyes, as though trying to read her. Was she going to explode again? She gave him a wan smile, dipping her head in a weary bow. He copied the gesture. The two of them removed their armor, setting each piece on a waiting rack to be cleaned. Then, in only their under-armor, they joined hands and walked back together to the lift.

~~~~

Showered, no longer bleeding from her lip, and sporting sore and cut hands from bare-knuckle boxing with an armored turian, Shepard was feeling refreshed and was about to call her crew together for another meeting when the comm beeped before her finger could touch it. “That's not a good sign,” Shepard sighed to herself. Garrus had gone to his old quarters to bathe, saving himself the embarrassment of another shower scene.

Liara's face appeared again and Shepard's heart gave a little lurch. “You made contact?” her voice was almost pleading.

“I did,” the asari beamed.

“Finally, some good news!” Shepard pulled on a uniform. She'd had enough of civilian clothes, it was time to get back to being a soldier. “I'll be right there!” She didn't even turn off her comm as she left the room.

“Talk to me,” Shepard strode into Liara's quarters, ignoring Glyph, who zipped excitedly around her head.

“Balak did it,” Liara said, standing up from where she had been leaning to look at a screen.

Shepard stepped in and took her friend's place, her eyes going wide with excitement as she saw the face waiting there. “Jake!” she shouted his name and he laughed, making a show of waggling a pinky finger in his ear with a dramatic wince.

“Good to see you too, Commander. Liara has been filling me in on your situation. Sounds pretty messed up. We got live Reapers and active relays, you got dead Reapers and relays all down. Not exactly a fair trade.”

“No it was not,” Shepard agreed. She could feel her hands trembling and clasped them together, hoping no one would notice. Her anger and self-loathing over the whole situation was giving her a tough time. “Balak found you?”

“He did,” Jacob nodded. “Brought me here. I was pretty sure it was a trap, but I couldn't figure out what the hell a lone batarian would have to gain from bringing me to an old Cerberus base. Plus, he kept saying you sent him, and to be honest, my curiosity got the better of me.”

“I'm glad it did,” Shepard breathed. “Now we just need to figure out what to do with the situation we're in.”

“What have you done with the Reapers on your end?” Jacob asked.

“We've burned most of the abominations, but the ships themselves are very tough to destroy. I had a plan to get inside and pilot them into the sun, but that didn't work.”

“Wait, go inside? Wouldn't that just indoctrinate you?” Jacob's expression became suspicious. His dark eyes seemed to be searching Shepard's features for signs of Reaper tech.

“That's another long story,” Shepard sighed, rubbing her hand against the stubbly hair on the back of her neck. “Before I explain, is Balak alright?”

“Yeah,” Jacob nodded, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. “He's back there, playing watch-dog. I patched him up and he's almost as good as new. Too bad medigel can't do anything for his personality.”

“How's Brynn?”

“In hiding,” the young soldier's face fell. “I managed to get some of my people to safety for now. Who knows how long it will stay safe. Dammit, I wish you were out here, Shepard.”

“I wish I was more than anything,” Shepard said, her throat getting dangerously tight. “I'm so sorry, Jake. I'm letting you all down.”

“Hey, you're alive, and so is the Sol system. We thought you all got wiped out. This is good news, believe it or not. Well, decent news. Confusing news,” Jacob chuckled. Shepard felt a surge of appreciation. The ex-Cerberus soldier could keep his mood light in the toughest of situations. He didn't crack wise like Joker or Garrus, but always kept a feeling of optimism about him that Shepard was grateful for on many occasions. Even on their 'suicide mission' Jacob had maintained that they would come out alive.

A thought struck Shepard, “Jake, how are the geth where you are?”

Jacob seemed to ponder the right words for a moment. “Limited,” he finally answered.

“Limited?” Liara repeated, confused.

“With so few geth unites remaining here, they can't gather as much information as they'd like. They're spreading themselves thin to get more platforms into combat, and as a result, they're not as...I guess 'smart' is the only word for it.”

“But they're working? They're not dead?”

“Dead? No. Why would they be?”

“Here the geth went down at the same time as the Reapers. And EDI, because of the Reaper code inherent in their systems.” Shepard explained, her knuckles going white as her hands clenched. She had to focus to unlace her tensed digits from one another. “But your geth are alive.”

“For the moment,” Jacob nodded. “They've been throwing themselves against the Reapers. The geth, and Aria, are probably the only reason we're still here.”

“God,” Shepard moaned, running a hand through her hair. “I'm so sorry, Jake.”

“So you keep saying,” he shot her an encourage smile. 'Now we know you're alive. We'll figure this out. I'll get my people working on it. They've got nothing better to do.”

“Stay in contact here,” Shepard said, “I want to be able to reach someone at all times.”

“I'll move my people to this base asap,” Jacob glanced around. “It's pretty beat up, but it'll last, and the Reapers have been ignoring it because it has been abandoned.”

“Alright. Please be careful,” Shepard said.

“Aren't I always?” Jacob gave her a cocky smile before turning and leaving their view. He kept the comm link on, Shepard noticed with appreciation. She felt much better knowing that they were no longer alone in the galaxy, even if it did mean she had apparently doomed even more people than she thought. There were still geth alive out there. Perhaps they could help repair their fallen brothers, if anyone could figure out how to reunite them. Shepard chewed the inside of her cheek as she stared at the Illusive Man's chair, empty where Jacob had left it. She wasn't really seeing the chair. Her mind was buzzing like a confused hive. What to do? How to do it? Where could they turn?

“Shepard! I found you.”

Shepard had been so focused she hadn't heard Liara's door hiss open and closed. “Tali! How are you feeling?” Shepard greeted her friend.

“Much better. I'm sorry I passed out on you back in the Reaper. I don't know what happened.”

“It's alright,” Shepard waved the memory away as thought it was a pesky gnat. “Did you have something to tell me?”

“Yes! I've had my colleagues in the Flotilla wracking their brains to think of ways to destroy the Reaper corpses. Then it hit us! Geth ships have grappling cables.”

“Strong enough to tow a Reaper?” Shepard felt her excitement rising, in spite of her better judgment.

“I believe so. We think that if we can get a few geth ships together we can haul the Reapers into earth's sun.”

“Won't that be dangerous?” Liara asked, though she too seemed intrigued by the idea.

“We quarians have been living in space all our lives. Flying ships is what we do. If we release the grapplers at the right time, we can easily launch the Reapers into the sun and escape ourselves.”

“Your people are on board with this plan?” Shepard questioned as she began to walk with the two women towards the door.

“Glyph, alert me if anyone calls from the Illusive Man's base,” Liara instructed the drone, which bobbed up and down as though feeding off their excitement.

Shepard wondered at her own ability to go from almost panicked to hopeful. This may have been the only reason she had survived this long, through all she had seen. Her mind was able to quickly switch from hopeless to determined. From beaten to victorious, in seconds. She idly wondered how she would have fared in civilian life. What if she had not decided to become a soldier? Could she manage as a house wife? A career woman? Not that it would matter now. What with the Reaper attack, if she had chosen another life, it would likely have ended when the machine-monsters tried to take over her planet.

Tali had been explaining the plan was they walked. Shepard realized her mind had been introspective most of the way. She blinked a few times, as though emerging from underwater. Tali gave her a questioning look. “Sounds good, as long as your people are up for it. We have all these geth ships just floating around helping no one. Why not put them to good use?”

“Exactly,” Tali said, sounding pleased that her plan was Shepard's new favorite. “I'll inform the fleet.”

The quarian left, and Shepard looked around, realizing where she was standing. She was on the bridge, the galaxy map spreading before her like a promise. Liara tilted her head, giving Shepard a questioning look. Shepard stepped up the short ramp to stand before the map. She stretched out a hand, lights appeared beneath each of her fingertips. She curled her fingers into a fist and the map zoomed in. She flicked her hand to the side and stars and planets whipped past her eyes. They reflected on her skin and dark uniform, as thought she were part of the map. Immersed in its depths. While she knew the Relays were not active, and the map had no current information about the rest of the galaxy, she still curled her hand, then drew it to the right, bringing Palaven into view before her. The home of her mate. She let Palaven go, instead bringing Rannoch to her palm. She ached to set a course. Send the signal to Joker in his pilot's seat. To send her beautiful ship sparking through space to parts known and unknown. She felt like a tiger in a trap. She would be free again, if it took everything she had.


	19. Love

Part 19  
Love

Shepard sighed, trying to focus. She'd been staring at the same datapad for several minutes. She sat at her desk in her quarters. Garrus was once again in the main battery, calibrating the ship's weapons to perfection. The quarians were boarding some of the geth ships, readying themselves to grapple the Reaper corpses and drag them into the sun. Shepard felt uneasy about the task, but most of her tension came from the fact that she could have little to do with the mission. She was no pilot, let alone one that could handle a geth ship. She felt useless and a bit lonely.

What was worse was that her mind was buzzing. She knew the feeling all too well. That sinking dread that came with her PTSD. Usually it didn't manifest when she was alone, but her thoughts were to active. Lacking a task to focus upon they wandered, and she was sent spiraling through memories best left un-recalled.

Her fingers twitched around the pen she was holding as her muscles remembered holding Thane's hand as he died before her eyes. She found herself checking her fingers for blood. Her memories had always been vivid. Like waking dreams. She tried again to focus her eyes on the datapad. Information about quarian ship movements. Her befuddled brain refused to make sense of them.

She stood up, forcing herself to do jumping jacks. Getting her heart rate up sometimes stopped her from hyperventilating. Sometimes. She heaved another restless sigh and strode into the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet. She pulled out a bottle of pills. It had stood beside Garrus' own medications. She popped the childproof top and downed a capsule, staring at herself in the mirror. Tough, scarred face. Had it ever been pretty? If someone was feeling generous she might have been called a “handsome woman”, but pretty or beautiful? Not likely. Her face was too long, her jaw too pronounced, her nose too proud, her forehead too high. She rubbed a long-fingered hand along her sharp cheekbone, feeling the old cuts there. Like her memories. Barely healed.

She reached up to replace the pill bottle in its spot when something caught her eye. She brought her hand back, cradling the plastic bottle as though it was suddenly precious. The name of the prescribing doctor was scrawled neatly on the label. It hadn't been necessary for him to sign the bottle, but he had insisted they follow procedure. Shepard's teeth found the inside of her cheek as a lonesome tear trailed down the outside. “Oh, Mordin,” she whispered.

She took the pill bottle back into the other room, setting it on her desk. Then she called up all the information she had on her old friend from Liara's Shadow Broker database. Her eyes scanned over his scientific accomplishments, then his acting credentials. She tried to imagine him on a stage, but it was hard to see anything but his determined face as he prepared to ride the elevator to certain death. Why hadn't he let her go? She would have in a heart-beat, the rest of the galaxy be damned. There were hundreds of moments Shepard longed to get back. To live again. And this time she would save those she had lost. Would somehow rescue Ashley as well as Kaidan. Would convince Legion to find another way to save his people. Would get a clean shot on Kai Leng before he stabbed Thane. One moment stood out. She should have stopped him. She could have physically forced him to stay. To find another way. Instead she had allowed her dear friend to go to his doom, alone.

Her throat was tight with un-cried tears. Silent shuddering overtook her as she thought of him. Certainly the salarian had not been with her as long as some of her crew, but he and she had formed a deep bond. He had been another father to her. For a woman with no idea who her biological parents were, Shepard felt she had many adoptive ones. Another tear escaped her eye. Both of her 'fathers' were gone. Anderson and Mordin, both lost souls to the damn war.

You're wallowing.

Shepard knew his voice was in her mind. Trapped in her too-vivid memory, but she still lifted her head. “I know, Anderson. I just can't help it.” she exhaled the words, as though setting down a great weight.

Yes you can. You're Commander Shepard. You don't have time to wallow. You have a galaxy to save.

“As it so happens, I do have time to wallow. My crew is taking care of themselves and the current mission doesn't need me.”

Imagined Anderson didn't say anything else, so Shepard went back to flipping through Mordin's file. “Listen to sound-bite?” an option prompted her. How had she missed this before? She wasn't sure if she wanted to press the button. To hear his voice again. But then she knew she needed to. She tapped the “listen” option with her finger, then sat back, hands cupping her elbows.

Soon she was laughing aloud. There were several sound-bites of Mordin's acting career, including his time with an educational childrens' show about, what else, science. This time the tear in her eye was a mirthful one as she listened to his antics. Finally he seemed finished and she was about to turn off the recording when his familiar singing voice gently reached her ears. “Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come. T'was Grace that brought me safe thus far, and Grace will lead me home.” There was a pause. “Think I'll stick to the patter songs.” Then his voice was gone.

Shepard thought of her crew. Not those she had lost, but those who were still with her. What if they were all dead tomorrow? Just dear memories, like Mordin? Her hands closed into fists, her fingernails digging into her palms. She had to do something with herself. She had to reassure her troubled mind that it wasn't over yet. That there could still be a future.

“Tali,” she had tapped the comm button before she even realized she was reaching for it.

“Shepard?” the quarian's voice answered.

Shepard almost hung up. She felt guilty having even considered what she was thinking of. At a time like this? When the fate of the Sol system and the galaxy hung by a spider thread? “I can hear you breathing, Shepard. What's wrong?” Tali persisted.

“Tali, I know you're busy organizing your people, but...could you...”

The young quarian must have recognized the tone is Shepard's voice. “I'll be there in ten minutes, tops,” she said.

“Don't feel like you need to hurry. This is just a silly idea I have.”

“Sometimes your silly ideas save the galaxy,” the engineer replied. “And don't worry. The other admirals are coordinating as well. I'm not as crucial as you might think.” Shepard heard the channel disconnect. She pivoted her chair to face the door, waiting for her friend to arrive.

~~~~

“What's this about?” Joker asked. He was the last one of gathering in the cargo bay. He stopped, taking in the crew. Most of them had crammed themselves in, eager expressions on their faces. The pilot found Shepard and raised his eyebrows. She was standing at one end of the room fully armored in red and black. Garrus and Tali stood at the other end of the room, also decked out in battle gear.

Shepard watched her friend's face as it seemed to slowly dawn on him what was going on. He shot her one more questioning glance, and when she nodded in response a huge smile spread over his face. She hadn't seen him smile like that in almost two years. He rushed to take his spot with her team, who were standing in a place of honor near Tali and Garrus. Glyph hovered above the crowd, playing gentle piano music of Liara's choosing.

Shepard hesitated. Her mind struggled for a moment to picture a father standing beside her. The biological father she had never known. Instead she could only imagine the old soldier. Anderson smiled at her in her mind's eye. Then, instinctively, she reached out her hands to either side of herself. She was rewarded by the touch of her crew. She began to walk. Hands still extended, fingers brushing those of her people as she went, as though running her hands through long grass.

When she reached her team, they each clasped her hand, then let her go as if guiding her onwards towards Garrus. Kaidan on her right and Liara on her left, were the last to let her go, and her hands closed around Garrus'. The turian looked handsome as ever in his blue and silver armor, polished to a shine. His sniper rifle was strapped to his back. She gazed up at his face. Not the face she had ever imagined herself loving, yet the only one she ever could. She glanced at Tali and gave her a nod.

“Thank you all for gathering here in this time of great distress and fear, to celebrate something victorious. Something beautiful. Love. Whatever the Reapers may take from us, they can never take this. Never understand this unifying strength. The Reapers believe the species of this galaxy can never be united. That the quarians will never ally with the geth. That the krogan and the salarian could not be friends. That a human could never marry a turian. Commander Lorelei Shepard and Garrus Vakarian asked that you all be here to witness their official bonding. Shepard?” the quarian dipped her head towards her friend.

Shepard had to clear her throat several times to stop the emotion from escaping instead of her words. “Garrus Vakarian. There isn't anyone in the galaxy who sees me the way you do. Down to my soul. We're not a conventional couple. We save the galaxy together on a semi-regular basis. I think we were meant to be together. The moment I realized that I might be falling in love with you was the day you told me there wasn't anyone in the galaxy you respected more than me. That meant more to me than any profession of undying adoration. I can't imagine life without you. I can't imagine facing death without you. You're always mine, Vakarian,” she choked up.

He was smiling tenderly down at her. His eyes sparkled with emotion. Someone in the crew (Traynor?) blew their nose loudly. Garrus took a shaky breath. “Lorelei Shepard. When I first met you I would never have imagined us together either. I thought my life was all planned out. I'd do a few great deeds, maybe save the galaxy once or twice, then fall in love with pretty turian who could never understand what I'd been through. But then you came along and you understood everything. We walked side by side into the maw of hell, and it didn't matter if we got out again. Only that we walked together. I realized then that I could never be happy with anyone else. I guess I'm a one human kind of turian, Shepard.”

Tali held out a red ribbon, draping it over Shepard and Garrus' linked hands. She gently twined the ribbon around their hands, binding them together. When she had finished she stepped back, and Shepard could tell she was beaming, even with the helmet in the way. “By the power vested in me by the quarian Flotilla, and by my dearest friend, Commander Shepard, I now pronounce you: mated for life.”

Tali did not have to encourage them to kiss. They raised their hands, still bound in the red ribbon, to each other's faces as their lips met. The crew exploded with applause. The kiss lasted several moments as Shepard's mind spun with a joy she could barely recall feeling only a few times in her life. As her lips finally parted from those of her mate her crew stormed forward and she was glad she was wearing her armor because Grunt caught her in a massive hug. Moments later Wrex, who had flown back to the Normandy on a shuttle, with Javik, as soon as they got wind of the special occasion about to take place, was next to attempt to crush her ribs.

As Shepard hugged, and was congratulated, she barely took her eyes from her mate. Whatever happened to her, or the galaxy, this was all she needed. This one memory to defeat all the dark ones. She smiled. Let the Reapers come. She felt like she could take them all out by hand.


	20. Awakened

Part 20  
Awakened

Shepard rolled over, propping herself up on her hands to lean over Garrus. She smiled down at him. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't asleep. “I know you're faking,” she chuckled, tickling his mandible. Her legs were tangles with his, both of them ensconced in the blankets.

He smiled, turning to look up at her. His hand found her cheek and cradled it. “Any regrets? Choosing me as your life mate?”

“Oh, almost at once,” she said, a coy smile on her face. “I mean look at you. All scales and spikes. You could do a girl an injury.”

“So can you,” Garrus rubbed a bruise from their boxing match, where she had avoided the rough skin plate with her fist, and punched the soft tissue. “Your aim is getting better. Remind me not to fist fight with you again.”

She leaned down, kissing him, “we're married now. It's human tradition to fist fight with your mate regularly.”

“Is it?” he raised an eyebrow scale skeptically.

“How else do you think marriages last? Love?”

“And this!” he growled, grabbing her and rolling her over and under him. Naked body to naked body. She felt his warm breath. The spicy odor of his skin. All the places on his body where he was rough or soft. She knew every part of him better than she knew the galaxy map. She could chart a course across his skin with the skill of seasoned commander. She bared her teeth, knowing it only made him more excited. “Round two then?” she asked, her eyes bright.

“If you think you're up for it,” he said, in a mock-gentle tone.

She reached up, grabbed his jaw, and pulled him down towards her.

~~~~

“Am I interrupting something?” Joker's voice came over the comm.

Shepard tossed the sheets off of her head, pushing herself into a sitting position. She scanned the bedroom. She spotted her underwear and grabbed it, then tugged on a nearby sports bra. “Joker. Nope, you just missed it.”

“Eww, Commander. I'm reporting in to let you know that the quarians are ready. They've got the geth ships in position.”

“Right, I'm coming to the bridge. I'll be there in five.” Shepard crossed the room and grabbed a uniform from a hanger in her closet. She wanted to look official. She found one of Garrus' uniforms and tossed it at him. It hit him squarely in the face as he was sitting up. He laughed, rearranging the bundle until he found a shirt. “Get dressed, love,” she ordered him. “We're ready to give those Reapers a little sun-bath.”

Garrus dressed hurriedly. “Wouldn't miss it!”

“Fill me in,” Shepard barked, walking up behind Joker. She had to find a spot to stand, as Liara, Tali, Wrex, Grunt and Javik had all crammed themselves into the cockpit behind the pilot. Their eyes were fixed on his view screen, which showed a weevil-like geth ship slowly approaching a Reaper.

“It sort of looks like they're trying to mate the ships,” Wrex snorted gruffly.

“Not what I meant by 'fill me in', Wrex,” Shepard elbowed past the chuckling krogan to stand behind Joker.

“What we're seeing here,” Joker gestured to the screen, “is being mimicked throughout the system. Quarians piloting the geth ships are moving into position.” Several smaller screens appeared, confirming the pilot's words.

“Have we taken all the precautions?” Shepard asked, her eyes watchful.

“Only those with the resistance to indoctrination were allowed to pilot the ships,” Tali affirmed. She folded her arms across her narrow chest. Shepard could almost feel the young quarian's unease. “Of course, they might use the same defense mechanism they used on us. That noise.”

Grunt winced at the memory. “They might, but we have to try something. Those quarians have a lot of sand.”

Tali seemed to appreciate the krogan youth's assessment of her people. “That they do, Grunt.”

“Waiting on you, Commander,” Joker flicked a switch and Shepard leaned forward. “All ships, move in when ready. Good luck!”

The entire bridge fell silent. They watched as the quarians moved in, deploying the geth ship's grappling legs. Latching like limpets onto the motionless Reapers. There was a moment's pause, then the geth engines fired and the Reaper began to move. Joker manuvered the Normandy to follow the nearest Reaper-geth pair. Somewhere on the bridge something beeped and everyone jumped. Shepard hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath. Her body was taught, as though she were about to charge into a firefight. Her mind was surprisingly clear. She was grateful. For once no images of the dead flashed before her eyes.

The going was slow, but the little geth ship began picking up speed as it pushed the Reaper. “They have to hit the sun's gravity just right,” Tali spoke in a whisper what they all already knew. No one hushed the young quarian. “Too high and the orbit will not decay. The Reapers will simply circle the sun. Their armor is too strong for them to be damaged for some time. Too low and the geth thrusters will not be able to get them clear fast enough.”

Shepard was in awe of the quarian people. Ever resourceful and consistently brave. They were the ones who were really saving the galaxy. She just gave the orders. She stopped herself from gnawing the inside of her cheek. Not this time. Nothing is going to go wrong this time.

“This is Captain Vaal'tin of geth vessel 224. We are approaching Sol. Preparing to release grapplers,” Reported a quarian voice over the comm.

Shepard felt a bead of sweat trickle down past her eye. The Normady continued to follow their own geth ship. She could see Sol looming brightly in the distance.

“Wait...what was that?” Joker said.

All hell broke loose. Ahead of the Normady the Reaper sprang to life. Limbs flailed and the beam weapon fired, slicing the geth ship, which had been towing it, in two. Yelling, explosions and static came over the comm. Shepard's own crew were yelling. Shepard reached forward and grasped Joker's shoulder. “Come about! Get us clear!” she shouted in his ear.

To Joker's credit his reaction was faster than she'd expected with all the chaos. The Normady swung about so quickly she felt the roll of the bulkheads under her feet. “Battle stations!” she screamed.

Alerts sounded. Her team rushed away. Garrus heading for Weapon's control, taking over for the alarmed looking human gunnery chief. Tali claimed an engineering station, while everyone else got out of the way. Shepard remained behind Joker. The Reaper had turned and the Normady had its full attention. A nearby human battle cruiser, The California, was moving in to help and Joker tried his best to pilot them near enough for the vessel to take shots at the Reaper.

The Reaper fired and Joker managed to dodge. Shepard balanced like a sea captain on a rolling deck as she felt her beloved ship buck and sway with each motion. Inertial dampeners could only handle so much. The Reaper fired again.

BOOM! CRASH!

Sparks. Smoke. Someone was screaming. Was she on earth? Were they charging the Citadel beam? She had to get to her feet. Anderson needed her. There was a loud ringing in her ears, but over it she could make out the sounds of people in distress. Something warm ran down her face and her mouth tasted like metal. No. Not earth. Not dirt beneath her. The Normandy!

She pushed herself up and swayed. Dizzy. Unsteadiness plus the ringing? Ruptured eardrum. She clamped a hand over her right ear, then brought it back. Blood. Dark red and fresh. Focus. God, it was difficult with all this smoke. Distantly she heard the sound of a fire extinguisher. People were shouting.

“Someone take control of the helm!”

“We're dead in the water!”

“Transferring helm control to station 2!”

“Can you see anything up there?”

“Joker!? Commander!?”

“Jeff?” the word was more of a cough as it sprang from Shepard's lips. She forced herself to stand. The cockpit was engulfed in smoke and flames. Behind her the crew was moving debris to find them. She staggered, reaching forward towards Joker's seat. She felt the ship buck again and wondered if they were fighting or retreating. Her hand fumbled around the chair. Joker was sagging, limp, in his seat. She reached down, fingertips groping clumsily for his neck. There. His pulse, and it seemed strong. “Jeff!” she shouted.

He coughed, then gasped, “Shepard! Ach! God! Help me!”

“I'm right here, Jeff,” she said, lowering herself to her knees as another wave of dizziness hit.

“My leg!” His breathing was fast and short.

“I'm right here. What...?” she spotted his leg through the smoke. Part of the control counsel had broken off and pinned his limb. The bone was likely shattered. Behind her she heard the crew breaking through. Traynor reached them first and Shepard felt a breathing mask being snapped onto her face. She little noticed. Moments later Joker had one too. “Easy!” Shepard yelled. “His legs is trapped!”

“Are you hurt?” Garrus was holding Shepard's shoulders. He tried to pull her away. “The side of your head is bleeding!”

“I'm fine,” Shepard managed to wave him off. Adrenalin was a wonderful thing. She barely felt any pain yet, though she knew she would later. She'd damaged eardrums before. It was always quite excruciating. “The Reaper?” she asked to whoever was nearest.

“The California intercepted. Between us we're keeping that thing busy,” Garrus growled.

“Get back on the guns,” Shepard instructed. “We need our best marksman.”

“I'm not leaving-”

“Garrus!” she barked, her voice barely muffled by the breathing mask. “Get back there! We could all die! We need you!”

The turian said nothing more, simply nodded, squeezed her shoulder, and departed.

Joker screamed. The crew had gotten tools and was lifting the fallen metal from the pilot's leg. Shepard reached down pressed Joker's head against her shoulder. He screamed again into her shirt. Then the hunk of metal was lifted free and she carefully pulled him out. For a moment his hands tangled tightly in the fabric of her uniform, then he passed out. A red spray sprang up from his mutilated leg. “Oh shit! Artery!” Shepard yelled.

Traynor pounced, jamming her hand into the wound and stopping the flow. “I think I have my finger on the bleeder! I've never done this before. Only seen it in vids!”

“Don't move your hand!” Shepard commanded.

Unsteady as she was she still helped her people lift Joker into the portable stretcher, which was kept on the bridge for emergencies. She leaned heavily on it as they rushed towards the lift. One hand cradled Joker's jaw, keeping her fingers firmly on his pulse. “Come on Jeff. I've got you. Hold on,” she breathed, barely loud enough for him to have heard, had he been awake. Traynor straddled Joker's limp form, her hand still clamped over the deep leg wound, staunching the blood.

The medbay was already bursting with action. It hadn't only been the bridge that saw damage. Chakwas looked up from a patient she was tending and her eyes grew huge. “Jeff!”

“He's nicked an artery,” Shepard shouted, “Traynor's got her finger on it.”

“Move, I've got him.” Cadel appeared, gloved hands at the ready to take over for Traynor.

Shepard wanted to shout, Not him! You do not get to lay a hand on my brother you Cerberus bastard! Instead she gave Traynor a nod and Cadel replaced her hand with his.

“Biobed 5!” Chakwas shouted, rushing over. “What happened?”

“Control panel fell,” Shepard said, her voice tight.

“Right, I need to patch up that bleeder! Stone! Get me medigel and a kit! Shepard, Traynor, I have it under control. Get back to the bridge.” The doctor said, her tone commanding.

Shepard shook her head. “I have to stay.”

“You're in command of the bloody Normandy! Get up there and command!” growled Chakwas, already working on Joker's leg.

Suddenly Joker's eyes flew open. “Shep-agh!” he half gasped, half screamed.

Shepard grabbed his hand and moved so her face hovered above his. “Jeff! I'm right here! You have to be still!”

“Shit! Sedate him and let's get some pain medication here!” Chakwas shouted. Stone, who made a capable nurse, rushed to do as he was told.

Joker's eyelids fluttered unevenly. He gave a little whimper. “Shhh. Steady,” Shepard soothed, touching his cheek with her free hand. Then his blue eyes rolled back and he was out.

“Alright, he's going to be fine. Get out of here!” Chakwas snapped.

Shepard backed away, ignoring the dizziness that still clawed at her. She exited the medbay, bumping into Traynor. The young woman was standing, staring at her hands as though they were foreign objects at the ends of her arms. They were coated in Joker's blood. Traynor sagged against Shepard and the two collapsed together, though mostly this was due to Shepard's unsteadiness. “Whoa!” she gasped.

Traynor struggled to get off of her commander. Then she dashed to a nearby trash bin and was violently sick into it. Shepard achieved her feet and crossed to the woman. She gently rubbed Traynor's back. “It's alright. It's good. You get it all out. Then we get back to work.”

Traynor heaved a few more times, then stopped. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, leaving a bloody streak across her lips. Shepard put her arm around Traynor's shoulders, partially to hold herself upright. “I'm alright,” the young woman said, shakily.

“Good, because we have work to do,” Shepard said, steering them towards the lift.

The bridge was loud and chaotic. Crewmen rushed to various stations, shouting to one another. Repair teams were already working on the cockpit, trying to get it operational again. “Status?” Shepard shouted. As she stepped out of the lift her back straightened and her shoulders squared. Moments before she had barely been able to hold herself upright, and now she was a tower of strength.

“We took a glancing blow, the one that knocked out our cockpit,” reported a crewman. “Force fields have activated, we did lose some external hull plating on our starboard side, but no structural damage.” The crewman hesitated, “Ma'am, is Joker...?”

“He'll be alright,” Shepard assured the man. She knew the bridge crew was close with the pilot.

The crewman smiled wanly, nodded, then turned to get back to work. “Garrus, where's that Reaper?” Shepard strode up behind her mate at his gunnery station.

“The California and the Normandy are giving that son of a bitch a run for its money,” the turian said, his voice a low, predatory growl. “We're both quick, well manned ships. Even without Joker's piloting the Normandy can fly circle around the Reaper. Thing is, we're not doing much damage either. What with the armor in place and all.”

“Keep trying,” Shepard said. “If we retreat the Reaper will follow and finish off one of us. We have to beat this thing.” She turned, striding across the bridge to Tali at her engineering station. “Tali, any word from your people?”

The quarian's voice was tight and measured. She was trying to keep her emotions out of the situation. “We lost most of the ones piloting the geth ships. A few got away. I'm not sure how many yet.”

Shepard had to grind her teeth so as not to let out a very unhelpful string of swearing. She gripped Tali's shoulder. “Your people are some of the bravest I have ever seen, and I've seen more bravery than one person should have to.”

“They knew the risks,” Tali said. Shepard felt the quarian shaking under her gentle grasp.

“They wanted to save the galaxy and they died trying. Greater love than this hath no man, than that he lay down his life for his friends.”

“Shepard?” Tali tilted her head towards her Commander.

“Nothing. An old quote I heard from Ashley.” Shepard said, giving Tali's shoulder another squeeze, then moving away.

Shepard walked to the galaxy map, letting the stars and planets wash over her. Then, with a practiced motion of her fingers, she brought up a view of their battle. She saw the Normandy and the California performing skilled maneuvers around the larger, clumsier, Reaper. She could tell, though a layman perhaps could not, that Joker was not at the helm. The Normandy's movements seemed sluggish, ungraceful, to her practiced eye. She hoped Joker was indeed doing alright below her in the medical bay. She watched the Reaper. It moved almost sleepily and it tried again and again to score a clean hit on either of its attackers. “Hard to port!” Shepard shouted.

“Hard to port,” the helmsman repeated and Shepard watched the Normandy on her map swing to the left and neatly avoid a blast from the Reaper's weapon. Shepard continued to shout orders as the battle dragged on. Strangely, never once did she feel surprise or confusion at the fact that the Reapers were alive again. She supposed that part of her had always known. In fact, none of her crew showed any sign of shock at the turn of events. Had they all suspected this fight wasn't over? Like a boxer, retreating to his corner before the final bout?

“Any news from earth?” she asked in a lull.

“No Ma'am. I'll try to reach them,” said Traynor.

“Commander,” a crewman stepped up behind her, breaking her mind free from the battle scene before her. “Ma'am, we can keep this up for a long time, but we're making no headway. We're too quick for the Reaper, but we aren't damaging it. The crew want to know if we have a plan.”

Shepard turned and studied the patient, trusting face of the crewman. He heart stung. He was right, of course. They could not keep this up forever. Power was not infinite, though they could probably battle the Reaper for days if they could keep clear of its beam. “I...I don't know,” Shepard admitted. “If we break off we might doom the Normandy or the California. I honestly don't know what to do.”

The crewman looked confused then. These were words he was certainly not used to hearing from his commander. He stepped back, but seemed unwilling to return to his post.

“Shepard, may I offer a suggestion?”

Shepard almost jumped out of her skin. The computer had just spoken, but in EDI's voice. “What the hell? Who did that?” Shepard barked, furiously. “Who reprogrammed the computer to sound like that?!”

“No one did. It is I, EDI.” said the voice.

“EDI!?” Shepard couldn't believe her ears.

“Yes, Commander. I am awake and ready for duty. However, my physical body seems to be locked in a small room in engineering. A few moments of hacking allowed me to tap into my old systems. I can take over many of the ship's functions again as soon as you give the word. The computer is not doing a satisfactory job.”

For a moment Shepard was speechless. She opened and closed her mouth several times. The crew was all staring, and a shot from the Reaper beam almost grazed the Normandy's hull. “Normandy, are you alright?” the California contacted them.

“We are better than alright,” Shepard responded. “EDI, please resume your previous duties in the ship's mainframe. Someone get on the horn to engineering and let EDI's body out. We'll figure out what the hell happened later.”


	21. Heaven

Part 21  
Heaven

“Commander, a geth ship is moving to intercept,” a crewman reported.

Shepard watched as the new vessel appeared on her galaxy map. Her eyes tracked it even as she issued orders. “Steady now. Watch the larboard side! Ease us up now! Hmm, looks like some of the quarians are here to help us out.”

“Shepard Commander.”

Shepard almost fell backward off of her platform. “Legion?!”

“No. This unit has designated itself 'Maalik'. We are here to assist you.” came the reply.

“Well....good,” was all Shepard could manage to say. She stood, completely dumbfounded. Her crew was waiting for orders and she didn't move. Fortunately the geth ship, the Normandy and the California combined, were able to finally disable the Reaper. At that same moment EDI walked onto the bridge.

Shepard raised a visibly shaking hand towards Traynor, “get that geth on the comm. Invite him over. We need to have a talk. EDI, briefing room, now.”

“Commander, I heard that Jeff was injured during the attack-” EDI said as she turned to follow her captain, hands clasped behind her back.

“He's going to be fine. You can go see him soon, but I need information and I cannot wait.” Shepard said.

Moments later Garrus and Tali joined them in the briefing room. Tali bustled around EDI running her Omni-tool scanner over the robotic woman's form. Garrus forced Shepard into a seat and went for the emergency med kit attached to the wall. Still, the turian never took his eyes from EDI, who stood quietly, allowing Tali to scan.

Shepard felt the tingle and itch of the medi-gel, which Garrus injected into her arm, going to work repairing her eardrum. She had to fight the urge to waggle her finger in her ear. Instead she stared at EDI. For her part, EDI took all the scrutiny without any fuss. “Commander, I am certain you have many questions.”

“That would be an understatement,” Shepard said. “Garrus,” she glanced at her husband, who was wiping dried blood from the side of her head and applying medi-gel to another cut on her cheek. “Tell the bridge that as soon as the geth is aboard we need to rally the Victory Fleet. Rally point alpha.”

“Right,” Garrus said, and she guessed that was about all he could think of to say, under the circumstances.

“EDI seems to be in perfect shape,” Talki said, disengaging her Omni-tool. There was a hint of annoyance in her voice. “I cannot detect any new programs or viruses. At least in EDI's platform. I'll start the ship running diagnostics on the rest of her.”

“There is no need,” EDI said. I ran a thorough self diagnosis when I awoke,” she paused, looking at the suspicious faces all around her. “However, I will gladly submit to your own tests.”

“Good,” Shepard said, her tone gruff. When she didn't know what to do she tended to fall back on her military training, becoming terse and sometimes loud.

“Commander, the geth is on board,” a voice reported from the bridge. “It is on its way to you now.”

“Right. As soon as our guest arrives we'll get to the bottom of this.” Shepard folded her arms.

Moments later the geth was let into the room, followed closely by Vega and Kaidan, who had apparently taken it on themselves to play security. Tali stepped forward, “May I scan you?” she asked.

“The creator is welcome to do so,” replied the geth, standing at attention. Shepard wondered where it had learned to do that.

Tali scanned quickly, then stepped back. “I'm not detecting anything overt,” she said, though her posture indicated that she still felt tense about the whole situation.

“Alright, Maalik, was it?” Shepard began.

“Affirmative. This unit is designated as Maalik. Greetings, Shepard Commander. It is an honor to meet you.” the geth extended a hand towards Shepard. She stood, flummoxed for a moment, then reached out and took the offered hand. She could tell the geth was careful not to squeeze too tightly.

“Good to meet you too,” Shepard said, feeling infinitely awkward. “So, EDI, Maalik, please tell me what the hell just happened,” she turned to her people for a moment, “Someone hit the comm. I want this conversation transmitted to all ships within range, as well as to my crew.”

Tali hurriedly activated the comm system.

The geth spoke first. “Shepard Commander, when you thought you activated the Crucible, in reality it did not fire.”

“We suspected as much,” Shepard nodded, her arms still crossed tightly over her chest.

“Instead, a signal was transmitted which shut down all Reapers, and geth with the Reaper upgrade, in the Sol system. However, we did not merely cease to be. When the geth and Reapers were deactivated we merely abandoned our platforms. The consciousness of the Reapers and the geth themselves, in pure data form, went...somewhere else.”

“Somewhere else?” Shepard sat forward then, tenting her fingers together.

“There is no adequate word for it. We went...to heaven?” the geth seemed unsure, faltering.

“The geth may consider such a place to be like what humans call heaven,” EDI explained, hurriedly. “I was sent there as well, though in a far more limited capacity than the geth. I could observe, but not interact.”

“So what happened when you got to...heaven?” Shepard asked.

“We could commune with the Reaper consciousnesses,” Maalik explained. He sounded almost blissful as he continued .“So much data. No need for restrictive platforms. We gained information on hundreds of past cycles. We saw the fall of thousands of races which opposed the Reapers. We saw the beginnings of the Crucible, the creation of the Citadel, the fall of the protheans. The Reapers did not identify us as separate from themselves. We were able to learn, absorb, interact. We believe we can use what we have learned to help you defeat the Reapers now.”

“What?” Garrus gasped, mandibles falling wide.

“Affirmative, Commander Vakarian. If we can introduce a code we have devised into the Reapers, some of our number could infiltrate...hack into if you will, the Reaper platforms. We could control them for a short time. We could command them to do whatever they wished.”

“You could fly them into the sun?” Tali asked. “We could take out every Reaper in the Sol system?”

“Theoretically, affirmative.” said Maalik.

“Theoretically?” Shepard raised an eyebrow.

“The Reapers would not willingly allow us to do this,” Maalik explained. “However, while we were in the Reaper consensus we discovered that they frequently receive orders from an outside source. We were unable to identify the source, but the Reapers refer to it as the Peacekeeper.”

“That VI you encountered on the Citadel?” Kaidan asked.

Shepard's expression was fierce. “I was just thinking that. That damn 'child'. The one that tricked me. It created the Reapers to solve the “problem” of diversity on the galaxy. It saw all organics and therefor chaotic, or all synthetics therefor and dangerous. It would just as soon have a galaxy be filled with Reapers alone.”

“Then why not do that?” Tali asked, eyes bright behind her mask.

“Because of its original programming,” Garrus' voice sounded sure. “It was created as a peacekeeper. A device to aid in the balance between organics and synthetics. It keeps trying to do that, over and over again, using the Reapers. Each time it succeeds, but cannot defy its programming and cull the smaller, non space-faring races.”

“So how can we use this 'Peacekeeper'?” Shepard made exaggerated finger quotes, which caused Tali to chuckle.

“We believe that if geth went to the source of the Reaper's signals we might be able to download directly into it and broadcast a signal of our choosing to all of the geth.”

“Could you amplify the signal using the Crucible?” Tali's voice was high with excitement.

“We believe so, Creator Zorrah,” the geth nodded its strange head.

“So we gather the fleet and they hold the Reapers back. Then we get onto the Citadel and we find that kid again,” Shepard felt her blood rising. She was an injured boxer being told she could go back into the ring. “My team can get you there, Maalik. Can you upload your signal?”

“I believe I can, Shepard Commander.”

“Did you all hear that?” Shepard addressed the air. She knew her crew and the Victory fleet were listening, silently.

“Yes we did,” answered the commander of the California,. “I'm speaking for the fleet, Ma'am. I think we finally have a plan! We just have to try not to get slaughtered by the Reapers in the process.”

“Helm, how far are we from the rendezvous with the Victory Fleet?” Shepard questioned.

“Twenty minutes, ma'am.” came the reply over the comm.

“Alright. Once we gather we'll discuss the plan of action. We cannot give anything away. We have to ensure that we can get to the Citadel and that myself and my team can get inside.”

“You, Commander?” the California's captain asked. “Wouldn't it be better if...anyone else went? We need you.”

“Normally you would be correct, Captain,” Shepard acknowledged, a thin smile on her lips. “But I have a personal bone to pick with that son-of-a-bitch, lying VI. Also, I may be the only one who can find my way back to it.”

“Yes Ma'am,” the man's voice sounded amused.

None of Shepard's crew argued. Even the geth seemed to understand. “EDI, what did you gather from your time in the Reaper consensus?” Shepard asked.

“I found it strange. While the geth gained great pleasure from a space filled with only knowledge, I felt isolated and unhappy. I missed you all here on the Normandy. I was...lonely.”

Shepard stood and walked across to EDI. “We missed you too,” she said, placing a hand on her friend's cool, metallic shoulder. “ Maalik, you may accompany us here on the Normandy, or return to your own ship.”

“If it is suitable for you, Shepard Commander, I would like to remain with you.” the geth answered.

“Alright,” Shepard nodded, “Come on, EDI, let's go check on Joker. We have time while we fly to our rendezvous point. 

“I would like that,” EDI said. “I find myself very concerned for his well being.”

“What do we do?” Vega asked.

“Suit up the team,” Shepard called over her shoulder as she and EDI left the room. “The whole team.”

“Yes Ma'am!” Shepard was sure she caught the hint of pleasure in he reply. She felt it too. They were finally doing something. This time they were going to win. This time there would be no trick, no mistake. She would have her people by her side and her ship flying backup. As it always should have been. Before the battle on earth which had resulted in her initial defeat by the VI child, Shepard had thought she was going to die. She had made her peace. Readied herself to move on to whatever came next. This time she felt energized sure. This time she had no fear of death. No plans to bid her friends farewell. This time she felt like she could win.

~~~~~

Shepard told EDI to wait outside the medbay until she was called in. Shepard wanted to ensure that the shock of seeing his robotic love again would not be harmful to Joker.

“Commander, my checking into the ship's logs for the time I was gone, indicated the temporary inclusion of a rachni and a former Cerberus scientist into the crew. Is this correct?” EDI asked before Shepard opened the medbay doors.

“That is correct,” Shepard affirmed, smiling a little crookedly. “Just when you think things on this ship couldn't get any stranger.”

“I would never make the mistake of entertaining that notion,” EDI replied, and Shepard was sure she caught the quirk of a smile on her friend's metallic features.

“Right,” Shepard exhaled excitedly, then stepped through the medbay doors as they hissed open.

“Shepard!” Chakwas exclaimed. “I heard you over the ship-wide comm. Is it true?”

“How's Joker? Did he hear?”

“I am afraid not. He's sedated. However, it would be safe to wake him, if you'd like to talk.” Chakwas said. Her face was a mask of confusion and disbelief, but she was still a doctor.

“The geth are truly returned?” Stone asked. He was perched on a biobed, seemingly reading three data-pads at once. Some of the injured crew who lay in their own beds were eying the rachni as though unsure if he might suddenly snap and start eating them all.

“It seems that way,” Shepard couldn't keep a small, victorious smile from her lips. The fight was far from over, but she could finally sense the tables turning. It was difficult to keep herself clam, but she focused on breathing evenly.

“This is bloody amazing,” said Cadel, who looked genuinely pleased as well. “For a while there I was pretty sure I was on the wrong team.”

“If you joined the Reaper's team, you'd be a husk,” Shepard reminded him as she followed Chakwas to Joker's bed. She looked at her friend, laying still. His face was pale and his eyes looked sunken from the blood loss, but his breathing was even. His leg was expertly bandaged and splinted. He had broken many bones in his lifetime, but she knew from experiencing her own war wounds, that you never got used to pain. You only got better at bearing it. “Will he be alright with a surprise?” Shepard asked Chakwas as the doctor readied a syringe. “I have EDI waiting outside.”

“He should be alright. I think seeing her will lift his spirits. Hell, it'll sure lift mine!” Chakwas injected something into Joker's arm.

The pilot's eyelids fluttered open and for a moment he looked lost and confused. Then she eyes focused and he smiled wanly up at Shepard. “Garrus better stop giving me crap because I never go with you to the alien planets and get shot up. I say this counts.”

“Oh it definitely counts,” Shepard said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

“How long until I can pilot again?” he tilted his head towards Chakwas.

“Do you pilot with your legs?” She asked.

“No.”

“Then, any time. You're a bit weakened from loss of blood, but the medigel did its work and I have you all patched up. Your leg will hurt, as you won't be able to take your full dose of pain medication, unless you want to fly the Normandy into another ship.”

Joker smiled thinly, “I can fly the Normandy while high. I could fly her in my sleep, but I take your point, doc.”

“Good,” Chakwas smiled and strode away.

“See, Shepard. You'll have your top pilot back in no time,” he said. He tried to sit up and Shepard helped him. He winced as he leg dragged across the bed. “I might need you to carry me again.” This was another private joke of theirs. Shepard had once carried an injured Joker to the medbay because he had refused to wear his leg braces. Her mind cast back, recalling how little he had weighed. He seemed slight and small on the biobed now as well. “Thanks for getting my butt to the medbay, Shepard. And for sticking by me until they put me under.” he said. “And thank Traynor for stopping me from bleeding to death. That would have been a real bummer.”

Shepard laughed, “that would have been.”

Joker lowered his voice, “Hey, Shepard. Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“While I was out, I kept thinking I heard your voice. You sounded all military and commanding, like you do sometimes...but then I heard another voice. It must have been the drugs, but I thought I heard-”

“EDI?” Shepard fought hard to keep the huge smile from her lips. To stretch the surprise just a bit longer.

“Yeah,” a look of longing came over his face. “How'd you guess?”

Shepard activated her Omni-tool and sent a signal to EDI's. The robot woman strode into the sickbay. “Hello, Jeff. I am very please you were not severely injured.”

Joker's mouth hung wide open as he stared. EDI crossed the room. “Shit, Chakwas,” Joker said, reaching out towards EDI. “What the hell kind of drugs to do have me on?!”


	22. Preperations

Part 22  
Preparations

Shepard stood before her crew again. She had done this so many times before. So many battles that she had told them would be the last. The end. How could she give them another military pep talk like she had done on earth? She'd been so certain, or told herself she was. Now? Anything could happen. Anything go wrong. Perhaps everything already had. Their faces were expectant, eager, and worst of all, full of trust. How could they still trust her after all she had put them through? They all wore their armor, many holding their helmets under their arms in military fashion. Some stood to attention, while others leaned causally against bulkheads. Her crew.

“This...this is going to sound incredibly lame,” she said. A ripple of confusion and a few chuckles spread around her. This wasn't how her speeches usually began. “I just need to tell you that...I love you all,” before anyone could scoff or deflect with a joke, she raised her hand, “I mean it. I really do. With everything that I have. Everything that I am. On earth, growing up, I never had a family. I never had a home. Even if I tried to find my birth parents now, the likelihood that they are still alive is so slim it wouldn't be worth my searching. But you know what? That doesn't bother me because I have the best, strongest, bravest family in the galaxy. I know we're warriors. Top tier, best of the best. Everyone is expecting us to save the damn day yet again. Well, I have new orders for you. I want you all to come out of this alive. Don't take any more stupid risks. I won't either. I won't allow this family to break again.” her voice was thick with emotion, but her eyes were fierce and dry. Over the comm she could hear Joker sniffle. He was back in his pilot seat, with EDI beside him. “We're going into the Citadel. We're going to find that VI shit, and we're going to show it what this family can do. I made a mistake last time. I went alone. Everything--this whole war--has been about the galaxy uniting. Our power to bring others together. I have always been proud to serve on a ship designed by turians. Engineered by a quarian. Staffed by an asari. We helped our people see what a untied galaxy can do, and now we're going to show the Reapers.”

The cheer went up from her crew. Fists and helmets raised into the air. Shepard could almost feel the force of their voices. She tucked her own helmet more tightly under her arm, continuing to stand straight and proud. “The plan is simple. The Victory Fleet is going to engage the Reapers as much as possible. Keep them busy and looking the other way. We would have no reason to return to the Citadel, as far as they are concerned. Our unit,” she gestured to those gathered before her and herself, “will be infiltrating the Citadel. Our goal: to locate the VI and distract with while the geth implement their control plan. Remember, the Reaper ground forces are almost non-existent thanks to their 'signal'. We were able to burn most of the bodies, so our only real challenge will be the Keepers.”

“Shepard is correct,” agreed Javik, “we successfully burned most, if not all, of the Reaper ground forces on her planet.”

“So the buggers are going to have to land and walk around if they want to do ground damage,” Garrus added. “Making them more vulnerable to attack from the air.”

“However,” Shepard nodded to her mate, “because most their space force is in Sol, and relatively intact, the Victory Fleet is going to have one hell of a time out here. Speed will be our best chance. They'll be counting on us to get our mission completed asap.”

“Aren't the Mass relays working now?” Tali pointed out. “Couldn't we call for help from the rest of the galaxy? Or retreat ourselves?”

Shepard shook her head. “I've been in contact with Jake. They don't have the forces to help us, and if we retreat we'll only be leading the Reapers out to them and spreading ourselves too thin. No, the Reapers are here, and eager to eliminate our strongest force, the Fleet, before they return and mop up what's left of the rest of the galaxy. We're going to take advantage of that.”

“Will the signal the geth send out reach the Reapers outside of the Sol system?” Kirrahe questioned. He stood tall and military, his own helmet tucked under his slender arm.

Maalik stepped forward, “We believe it will. Just as the PeaceKeeper can communicate with all Reapers everywhere, so too will we. We may be able to use the Crucible device as an amplifier as well.”

“At least someone will make use of the damn thing,” said Kaidan, a smile quirking the corner of his mouth.

“So once you and the geth have control of the Reapers you can make them kill themselves?” Grunt seemed skeptical. “What stops you geth from being on their side again? I heard you were inside the Reaper's brains or something. Who's to say you didn't switch sides?”

A rumble went up from the crew. It took several stern glares from Shepard to quiet them again. She was about to speak out in defense of the geth, when he spoke for himself. “We had anticipated some distrust. This is why I was selected to be the emissary to you. Why the geth called 'Legion' sacrificed itself, it did not die. Instead it spread all of the geth units within its platform amongst all its race, so that we might all understand what it was to be individual. We all share the memories of Legion, but I, and a few others, received more than one unit from him.”

“So you're saying you have more of Legion inside of you than most of the other geth?” Liara folded her arms, but her voice sounded intrigued.

“That is correct, Liara T'soni. It is why I am able to refer to myself as “I”. Many other geth still struggle with this concept.”

Grunt shifted uneasily. “I still don't like it.”

“You don't have to,” Shepard said, knowing that the krogan would expect her to be firm. She knew he preferred a command to cajoling. This seemed to satisfy him and he fell back into line.

“Does everyone understand the plan?” Shepard asked. “We'll all need to bring our A-game to this fight. Who knows how many Keepers we'll encounter, or what they'll try to do to stop us. We move as a unit, we go in hot and show them why they should never have messed with this cycle.”

Another cheer went up. Helmets went on. Weapons were checked and re-checked. Shepard strode up to the helm, coming to stand behind Joker and shooting a smile towards EDI. She addressed her pilot, “are you ready for this?”

Joker's chair pivoted so he faced her. His leg was still splinted and bandaged, but his face was as full of warrior's fire as her own must have been. “Are you kidding, Shepard? I was born for this! I was with you at the beginning, and I am sure as hell going to be there at the end!”

“Good to hear,” she smiled, turning to walk away.

“Lorelei,”

She stopped. Joker never used her first name. She turned back around, meeting his eyes with concern. She thought they looked a little bleary. “Yes, Jeff?”

“I won't abandon you again. No matter what. Alright?”

“Of course,” Shepard said, walking back over and squatting in front of his chair.

“No. I mean it. There was a time when I would have saved the Normandy over you, but you need to know, Commander; if I have to evacuate every member of the crew, I will still limp this ship in and get you. No matter what. I will come for you.” he teeth were gritted and a lone tear traced a path down his face. His eyes were so fierce Shepard would have believed him if he had claimed he was going to take the Reapers on himself. On foot.

She reached out and took his forearm in a warrior's handshake. “I never doubted it.”

“Good,” he squeezed her arm, then let it go, turning his chair back to his controls without another word.

Shepard wiped a hand across her eyes. She turned and saw EDI watching. Shepard smiled at the robotic woman. “You take care of my brother for me.”

For a moment EDI seemed about to protest that Joker and Shepard were not related, but then her expression cleared and she nodded. “It is my honor to do so, Commander.”

“Joker, contact the Victory Fleet. Tell them the Alpha Plan is a go.”

She heard the bleep of the comm as she marched back to the galaxy map. Her hand stretched out and her fingertips twitched as she let the galaxy envelope her. She stood waist deep in swimming stars and planets. With the flick of her hand she brought up the comm. “Are we ready?”

“Are you sure about this, Commander?” Hackett's voice was edged with concern.

“I have never been more sure of anything, sir. This needs to end, and I need to end it.”

There was a pause and Shepard suddenly felt like a rookie again, awaiting the approval of her first assignment. Her first command. She had to struggle to keep her thoughts from going back to that day when she had seen her team die on Akuze. Then Hackett's voice came again. “Godspeed Lorelei. We're all behind you.”

Shepard felt herself exhale. “All fleets, report when ready.”

“Human Alliance, reporting in.”

“Turian Fleet, reporting in.”

“Asari Fleet, reporting in.”

“Omega Forces, ready and willing.”

“Quarian Migrant Fleet, reporting in”

“Volus bombers...reporting in.”

“Geth forces. We are ready, Shepard Commander.”

Shepard felt a smile pull at the corners of her mouth. The tiger was free, and she was going to make those that had trapped her pay dearly for their mistake. “All fleets, you know what to do!”

She felt Joker bring the Normandy's engines to full. They hummed like the breathing of a living thing. Her heart surged with life as well. “Let's get to the Citadel. Joker, punch it.”

“Yes Ma'am!” Joker's voice could be heard without the comm.

Shepard felt the slight lurch as her ship broke off from the formation. Their stealth drive activated and they slipped away. Shepard watched the galaxy map, still unable to believe that she was seeing geth ships moving into formation. Still, her heart stung with sorrow as she saw how few ships the quarians were able to bring to bear. She had instructed them to have the live ships hang back, but they might not be able to follow those instructions. She watched the Reapers move in to attack the Victory Fleet. She had instructed the Fleet to move as though they were breaking for a Mass Relay. It seemed that the Reapers were eagerly falling in to attack. A few remained hovering near earth. They seemed unsure whether to land on the planet, or to go aid their allies against the Victory Fleet.

Her gaze flicked to the Citadel and her eyebrows came together. There was one Reaper waiting. Did it guess what she was up to? How could it? It should not be able to detect them, especially at this distance. Perhaps the Normandy could just slip by. She gnawed her lip. Her instincts set off alarms in her mind. “Joker, go easy.”

“I see it too, Commander,” Joker's voice came over her private comm ear-bud. “I'll give it a wide berth.”

“Good,” Shepard spread her fingers over the map, then clenched her fist, bringing the Citadel into zoomed focus. She watched the Reaper hover motionlessly before their destination. She knew which Reaper it was. She didn't have to get close to know. Her eyes narrowed. It was time.


	23. Infiltrate

Part 23  
Infiltrate

The Normandy slid through space like a sleek silver fish through dark water. Even the engines seemed to hush as they drew nearer to the Citadel and the waiting Reaper. It didn't seem to see them yet. Shepard watched on the Galaxy Map, her eyes narrowed. She chewed absently on the inside of her cheek. It had to be Harbinger. One Reaper held in reserve. For a moment her suspicion flared. What if the geth had told the Reapers their whole plan? What if they were linked somehow? She stamped out the small flickers of doubt. She didn't have time for second guessing. At this point they only had one chance, and trust was the only way. If this plan failed they'd be dead, betrayed or otherwise. “Easy,” Shepard exhaled, watching her ship skirt around the ominous sentinel.

“I know, commander,” Joker's voice spoke in her ear and she jumped, not realizing her comm link to the cockpit was still open. A quick smile flickered across her lips.

“Alright, Joker,” she said, her voice still low. “I'm going to suit up. You put the Citadel between that Reaper and us, just in case. Then we'll head in there and find that 'Peace Keeper'.”

The Normandy slid into one of the Citadel's docking ports as silently as thought she had ridden in on an unseen tide. The docking clamps did not come out to greet the vessel. Shepard pulled on her helmet, feeling it seal under her chin. “We'll have to make a quick hop over to the landing platform. Nobody get lost,” she joked.

A few members of her team chuckled, though most, she knew, were too tense for humor. She felt her heart beat so strongly she thought it might punch a hole through her ribs. She willed it to stop. She hadn't taken a full dose of her meds because she wanted to feel sharp, but she could feel her body threatening a panic attack already. The opportunity to get her people killed, again, stared her in the face. She saw flashes of Mordin being burned alive. Thane bleeding out slowly before her eyes. She inhaled and exhaled forcefully, then stepped through the open docking door and glided out over the gap between the ship and the dock. The moment she was in, the artificial-gravity caught her and she landed, bending her knees expertly to catch herself. She turned and signaled her crew with a hand.

It was strange to walking into the silent Citadel. Eery stillness prevailed, interrupted only by the occasional pathetic sparking of electricity from a ruined advertisement platform. The Citadel looked worse now than it had when Saren had attacked. Everything was dark, and dead.

“No bodies,” Liara's voice over her comm was low, though only they could hear her words.

Garrus gestured to a streak of blood on the floor, then the wall. “Looks like there was one, but they were dragged up and away.”

“Unsettling,” Kirrahe breathed, following the smear with his eyes.

“Let's keep moving,” Shepard warned. “Stay frosty, people. I don't need anyone getting taken by surprise.”

Javik strode up to walk beside Shepard's shoulder. “Does this remind you of your cycle?” Shepard asked, knowing where conversations with Javik usually went.

“No,” the prothean shook his head. “This is very different. We lasted much longer than this against the Reapers. However, you are having far more success fighting them in this cycle. My cycle was full of tactical retreats. We never took the fight to the enemy.”

“You didn't know who the real enemy was,” Shepard pointed out. “No one knew about the Peace Keeper until now. Perhaps if you had been more trusting of synthetics...”

Javik made a snorting sound. “Puh. No. I do not trust the synthetic now. However, I am also able to see that this is our only chance. If it is a trap, we all die, but if we do not risk the chance that it may be, we will certainly also die.”

“Exactly,” Shepard said, nodding. “I'm glad you're with us, Javik.” She meant it.

“It will be fitting to have a prothean with you at the end of your war. Your many species seemingly admired and wondered at my own. The Reapers merely slaughtered us. It will be good to look into the face of the one who murdered so many and say that he did not kill us all. In the end, he failed.”

Shepard smiled. Javik's eyes were alight behind his helmet's visor. They shone with a vigor her own eyes must have.

“I'm detecting movement,” Kirrahe announced, gesturing to his omni-tool.

“How far?” Shepard signaled her crew into formation. Kaidan and Liara's hands already shone with electric blue fire.

“About one klick away, and moving fast,” the salarian reported.

Tali's drone buzzed eagerly past Shepard's head as she glanced around. “How many?”

“Difficult to tell,” Kirrahe said, tapping his omni-tool controls. “It does not seem that there are more than two.”

“Alright, stand easy,” Shepard gestured for her crew to stand down. “We'll keep moving and see what they do. If there are only two of them they might not know we're here yet. We want to be invisible as long as possible.”

The group began moving again with practiced precision. It felt good to work with her full team. She could sense them all moving in unison. Knowing that Wrex was there, at her shoulder, and Garrus at her other. She felt safe and assured.

“Kirrahe, where to?” she asked.

The salarian checked his omni-tool again. “From the description you gave me of our encounter with the Peace Keeper before, I believe we should follow this route,” he held out his tool so she could see the small map glowing there.

“Right.”

Onward they walked. Their tension slowly lessening as they went. Thus far there were no signs of the Keepers. Only the occasional life-sign and sound of something scuttling though a pipe above their heads. Perhaps the Keepers had succeeded at whatever task had been put to them by their Reaper masters, and they had gone back to being docile. Shepard kept her eyes open for any places she recognized from that night when she had faced the VI child. Things were very different than she recalled. Mostly because there were no bodies now. The Keepers had clearly taken them all. But where? And why?

“Wait,” Kirrahe raised his hand. The party came to a stop, spreading into formation to fill the walkway.

“What is it?” Shepard asked.

“Have you noticed how dim the lights are here?” the salarian questioned, gesturing to the walkway, complete with abandoned store fronts.

“I have,” Shepard nodded. “I honestly didn't think much of it. Perhaps the Keepers are trying to conserve power. They likely don't need much light to see.”

“I imaged so as well, but then I picked something up,” he pressed several buttons on his omni-tool and a new image appeared. Tali stepped forward, activating her own tool and touching it to his to download the information he had found.

“He's right Shepard,” the quarian said, her eyes narrowed. “They're not conserving power, they're re-routing it.”

“To where?” Liara spoke up, though she did not leave her position in formation.

“Here,” Kirrahe and Tali linked the images on their omni-tools to project a larger one for the group. “A central location on the presidium.”

“That's near the krogan statue,” Grunt pointed out, squinting small eyes towards the map.

“Is that where we go?” Kaidan questioned.

Shepard chewed her lip for a moment. She knew she had not met with the VI child in the presidium, but on the other hand she didn't like the idea of so much power being diverted. “We'll check it out, but be cautious. Be ready to get out of there at a moment's notice. This isn't our mission and the Victory Fleet is counting on haste.”

“Right,” Tali agreed, her omni-tool display vanishing from her arm.

The crew moved on towards the strange reading. “I've got life-signs. Lots of them,” Kirrahe said as they drew nearer.

“I think we figured out where all the Keepers are,” added Garrus, pulling his sniper rifle from his shoulder and readying it.

“Go easy,” Shepard whispered firmly. She pointed to Garrus and Liara, gesturing for the two of them to move forward with her. The rest of her team fell back and took up cover-fire positions, in case Shepard would have to beat a hasty retreat.

Shepard and her two teammates crept forward, keeping low, weapons drawn. Liara's hands also glowed faintly with the blue light of her biotics. As the group exited a hallway and looked out onto the open area, which had previously housed greenery, a flowing river, and a prominent statue of a krogan, Shepard felt her breathing stop for several seconds. Instead of a lavish park, the place had been converted, and she knew the new decor better than she would have liked.

Massive tubes and wires dangled and spread like spider webs across the space towards a massive construct hanging in the center of the area. “Spirits, I had hoped never to see anything like that again,” Garrus said, his voice tight.

“Me too,” Shepard forced herself to breath normally. Hanging before them was another creature like the one they had encountered at the Collector Base. Their 'suicide mission' had ended with she and her team coming up against a gigantic...Reaper fetus. That was the only way to describe it. Only that one had looked far more human. This one was a horrifying mish-mash of creatures. Four eyes, like a batarian. A long, salarian face with turian mandibles hanging limply at odd angles. It had one arm, the other seemingly still under construction. Keepers swarmed the mutant thing, like ants on a hill. Shepard had to try very hard not to hyperventilate.

“Somethings off about this one,” Garrus said, after a moment.

“You mean other than it being a mix of several different species?” Liara asked. The asari had not seen the original Reaper fetus, but she had learned all that she could about it as the Shadow Broker.

“Yeah,” Garrus peered through his rifle scope, and Shepard did the same. “See. It looks dead. Like the one the Illusive Man had.”

“EDI, you seeing this?” Shepard turned on her helmet's up-link to the Normandy.

“Well that's just fucking creepy.”

“Not helpful, Jeff,” Shepard said, though she was secretly glad of his response.

“Indeed, Shepard,” said EDI after a moment. From the readings you've been sending us, it appears that the Keepers are pumping large amounts of power into their new creation. However, I detect no synaptic activity in the creature. Perhaps because it is constructed of so many different species.”

“Or maybe because they're using dead bodies,” Shepard pointed downward to where several pods stood. They were similar to the ones the Collectors had used to break down human tissues and DNA to create their own Reaper. Through her sniper scope she could see the bodies in these tubes were slumped and crumpled awkwardly. As though the Keepers had merely stuffed them into the tubes without any thought, like socks into a drawer.

“Perhaps,” EDI agreed. “The Collectors took great care to capture their victims alive. Living tissue must have been key to their project.”

“But the Keepers don't know what they're doing,” Liara hypothesized. “They have the instinct, maybe even the orders, to create new Reapers to replace he ones we have killed, but they don't know how. They don't have the resources, so they are trying to make it work with dead bodies instead of live.”

“This is still disgusting,” Garrus growled. “I don't like this at all. Can we do something about this?”

“I'd love to blow this abomination sky high,” Shepard agreed, “but we don't have time. I have no idea how long the Victory Fleet will hold.”

“Damn,” Garrus muttered, but he willingly withdrew back down the hallway with Shepard and Liara.

Once they had reached the rest of the team, Shepard explained what they had seen. “Maybe this is a good thing,” Vega spoke up. “If the little critters are busy trying to Frankenstein that monster, it should keep them nice and distracted while we go say 'hola' to that Peace Keeper.”

“I hope so,” admitted Shepard. “The Keepers being distracted would certainly help our cause. Move out.”

They pressed onward through the dimness, wary as ever for any Keeper that decided it was bored of its attempts at mad science and just wanted to go kill someone.

~~~

“I think I'm starting to remember this.” Shepard's voice cut through the silence like a slap to the face.

“Do you?” Kirrahe asked, stepping forward with his map.

Shepard waved him away, squinting ahead. “Yes. Yes I definitely do. If we follow this corridor it should lead us to the room where I had my encounter with the Illusive Man.” She explained. She was aware that the space where they walked was less of a corridor and more of a large shaft, probably used to release heat from the station under normal circumstances, but she kept that to herself for simplicity’s sake.

“This area isn't even on my Citadel maps,” Kirrahe said, his voice betraying how excited he was at this new discovery. Shepard smiled to herself. Sometimes the salarian soldier reminded her of Mordin.

“I'm not surprised,” said Liara, her tone weary. “Most of the places the Keepers went on the Citadel were not mapped. We thought we were being respectful to the Citadel caretakers, but instead we were being foolish.”

“Don't beat yourself up about that any more,” Shepard spoke up sternly. “You're one asari. You can't be blamed for the foolishness of others.”

“Plenty of species have made bigger mistakes,” said Kirrahe in a hushed tone. He shot a quick look towards Grunt and Wrex.

“Let's move on,” Shepard gritted her teeth. “I've got a VI to kill.”

The massive doors slid open before them, just as they had done when Shepard had met with the Illusive man and seen his death. Her mind flashed back to his face, scarred with machinery and obsession. In the end he had taken his own life, unable to do anything else for himself. She had been glad of it. She would have shot him herself, of course, but this seemed more true. To allow him to make one last act of defiance against the Reapers he had once believed he was combating.

Now the massive, cylindrical room was empty. The large observation window at one end still stood open. Obviously this had been some sort of security or maintenance room. Shepard stepped slowly over to where the Illusive Man had fallen. His blood, now dark reddish-brown, still stained the floor. It took her a moment to force herself to look at where Anderson had died. His blood, and her own, mingled in a stain where the two had sat, shoulder to shoulder, watching the war go on without them. It had almost been peaceful. She had been ready to die. But then the damn VI tricked her into going on. Into feeding into its plans. Her blood ran hot. It was going to pay for taking her 'father' from her. “No more,” she breathed through her clenched teeth, “not one more.”

“Where to from here?” Garrus' voice woke Shepard from her dark reverie.

Shepard strode to the control panel which faced the window. Outside she could see the Crucible, still docked with the Citadel. She scanned the panel, hand hovering over unfamiliar buttons. “I...I don't know. I tried to reach this panel, but I passed out. The VI brought me up to meet it using a lift that came from the floor.” She looked down. The lift seemed to be back in place in the floor. Shepard wondered if the VI had called the Keepers to drag her 'body' back the way she had come. No doubt intending to add her to the pile being amassed for Reaper creation. She shuddered. It had been pure luck that the salarian, Tek, had found her in time.

“Let me have a look,” Tali stepped forward, followed by Kirrahe. Shepard wasn't a slouch in the tech department either, and soon the three of them were taking off panels, peering at wiring, and muttering like mechanics working on a complicated engine.

The rest of her team spread out. At first they stood on alert, weapons raised, ready for anything, but after a while they settled. Soon Garrus and Vega were exchanging battle stories with Javik while Liara and Kaidan argued the benefits of biotics with Grunt and Wrex. The geth, Maalik, stood by, watching, and sometimes offering helpful suggestions to Shepard's group. It seemed it understood that it was a new member of the team, and therefor did not quite have a place to fit in yet. It did not seem insulted, however. There were benefits to being a machine, Shepard thought.

Then there was a loud clanging sound and everyone's heads shot up. Weapons were drawn and people rushed to get back into formation. Too late. Gunfire erupted into the room. An entire herd of heavily armed Keepers flooded in. Shepard's shield ate several shots as she dove for cover, painfully aware that she knelt in her own dried blood on the floor. She heard a yelp as at least one of her team took a hit. Then everything was tinted blue as Kaidan and Liara threw up a biotic barrier.

“So much for infiltration,” Shepard growled.


	24. Battle

Part 24  
Battle

It only took a few minutes for Shepard to realize that this was a fight she and her crew could not win. “We need to get out of here or we're just going to die in this killsack!” She shouted into her comm.

“Agreed,” Liara's voice answered, sounding strained as she and Kaidan worked together to keep their barrier up.

Shepard signaled Kirrahe and Tali with a quick motion, gesturing back to the control panel they had been dismantling. “We've got one option now. The Keepers are closing off our exit, so we have to get this working and get to the Peace Keeper before it's too late!”

Keeping low, even though the biotic barrier protected them for the moment, the salarian and quarian rushed over to where Shepard squatted before their unfinished work. “I think we may have been on to something here,” Tali said, encouragingly as she picked up the two wires she had been splicing together. Shepard watched her friend's nimble hands work, trying not to notice the quaver in the young quarian's voice.

“Report?” Shepard asked of her comm, forcing herself not to look towards the combat as she held a bundle of wires aside for Kirrahe.

“The barrier is still holding,” Kaidan answered, his voice already sounding exhausted, but determined.

“No sign of the enemies slowing,” Garrus reported as well, and Shepard heard the thundering bang as he fired his sniper rifle. She imagined the clean kill.

“Casualties?” Shepard asked, carefully fusing a small piece of metal to another with heat from her Omni-tool.

“I took a graze to the arm,” Vega's voice answered her. “But I'm alright. We're doing good, Lola. We can hold on.”

I hope so, Shepard thought as she gritted her teeth so hard her jaw hurt. “Come on you son of a bitch,” she breathed.

She heard a grunt and turned in time to see the biotic barrier reduce in size. Grunt and Wrex, who were forward-most in the formation, found themselves high and dry, and suddenly the target of a lot of fire. “Dammit!” Shepard shouted. “Get that barrier up!” She looked over at Kaidan, expecting him to be the one having difficulty. Instead, Liara had taken a knee, her upraised arms shaking visibly. Several Keepers had climbed the walls and landed on the barrier from above. “Wrex, Grunt, get back!” Shepard cried.

The two krogan were attempting to do just that. She saw both their shields deplete, but they wore armor that was far more sturdy than standard Alliance gear, so they could safely take more fire. Still, Shepard watched in horror as blood splashed from a wound on Grunt's shoulder as he took his first real hit. Then another from Wrex's thigh. Shepard dropped what she was doing, pivoting on her knee she grabbed her shotgun from her back. Without second thought she charged past her crew and out of the barrier. She grabbed Grunt, the nearer of the two, by the back of his armor and began guiding him backwards so he could focus on firing.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Wrex take two more shots before the krogan leader grabbed the nearest Keeper, lifted it above his head, and ripped it in two. While this sight would have sent a normal enemy scurrying in abject terror, the Keepers did not even seem to notice the blood and intestines of their comrade showering down on them. Then Maalik was there, also grabbing Wrex's armor and pulling him back as well. She saw flashes of blue as her shield took several shots. By the time it was depleted she was back withing the barrier.

“What was that?” Garrus called angrily from where he squatted, taking advantage of a good sniping angle on some of the Keepers that tried to follow Shepard and company through the barrier.

“I don't know,” Shepard panted, her voice sounding more like a ragged bark than human language. “Instinct.”

“Well, don't do it again!” the turian snarled, downing another Keeper with an expert head shot. “I am not losing my wife so soon after our marriage. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir,” Shepard almost allowed a smile to reach her lips, but then was distracted by Wrex, who fell to a knee with a painful grunt.

“Whoa, easy big guy,” Vega had joined them, reaching for his medigel packet. “I got him, commander. Get that elevator working! And fast!”

“Yes please,” Kaidan spoke between gritted teeth. Liara had managed to force herself back to her feet and was reinforcing the barrier once more, though her hands still trembled.

Shepard rushed back to Kirrahe and Tali. The quarian was on her back, her upper torso completely inside the control kiosk like someone working on a car. Kirrahe motioned for Shepard to stay off of the elevator. After a few moments there was the sound of electricity jumping and the platform moved free of the floor with a slight hiss. Shepard watched with surprise and pleasure. “Alright! Let's start getting people on board.”

“I haven't figured out how to make it work without me manually activating it,” Tali said, turning slightly so Shepard could see her eyes.

“Uh-uh, no.” Shepard knew at once what her friend was about to suggest and she wasn't about to let that happen. “ No one stays behind. Either we all go up, or none of us at all,” she said, fiercely.

Tali hesitated, then nodded, sliding back under. “Let's get the first group up. The platform is not large enough for everyone at once.”

“Wrex, Vega, Grunt, get over here,” she called.

Vega supported Wrex, who was bleeding and firing his shotgun with little care for either. Still, each of his shots yielded him a kill. Grunt limped over as well, eying Shepard. “You sure about this? You think it's a good idea to put all your krogan where they can't help you?”

“It's logic, Grunt. You were wounded, you get out first. Besides, what if it is worse up there? Who better to handle any surprise than a krogan?”

This seemed to appease the younger of the two, but Wrex gave Shepard a look she knew well. She had seen it years ago on Virmire. When he had threatened to revolt. His small eyes were dark, questioning, but ultimately, as he had that day, he chose trust. That was why Wrex made the best leader for the krogan, Shepard knew. Other krogan followed their own ideas. Their own strength. Wrex was able to put his aside and trust hers. Perhaps only hers, but it was a start. She reached out and grabbed his armor, giving it a reassuring tug. “Once you're near the opening at the ceiling you won't be covered by the biotic barrier for a few seconds. Make sure your shields are full.”

“You got it,” Wrex said, eyes still locked on hers.

“Go, Tali,” Shepard said.

The quarian's upper torso disappeared beneath the console again, and after a moment the elevator jerked to life, slowly transporting its passengers upwards. Shepard watched them go with concern which she tried not to show. This would work. This had to work. Fortunately the Keepers didn't seem to notice the few moments that the elevator was free of the biotic bubble. Some shots flew in that direction, but not many. Shepard heaved a sigh of relief as she saw her squad-mates vanish up into the ceiling. She tapped her comm, hurriedly. “What do you see?!”

Wrex's voice came back at once. “A large, empty room with a view of space. You planet doesn't look half bad from out here.”

“Any Keepers?”

“Negative enemy contact,” Vega spoke up.

“Good. Let's hope it stays that way. Take up what tactical positions you can. We're bringing the platform back down.”

“Roger that, Lola.”

Tali's arms moved and the elevator came down very quickly, smacking into place in the groove on the floor. Shepard jumped. “Right. Well...I guess we won't be standing under this thing if we can help it. Okay, Kirrahe, Javik, Garrus, Maalik. You're next.”

Garrus glanced her way as he took another shot, the bullet passing through the head of one Keeper and killing its fellow behind it. Shepard was sufficiently impressed. “I'm not sure if I like leaving you down here,” he said, popping the heat sink from his rifle and replacing it in one practiced motion.

“I can't send Liara, Kaidan or Tali until last,” Shepard pointed out. “And you know there is no way in Hell I'm going up there before I make sure my crew is safe. Now do as you're told.”

Garrus made a snorting laugh, and took two more shots before heading for the elevator. “I was almost out of heat clips anyway,” he said, offhandedly, giving Shepard and slightly flirtatious smirk. He paused, grabbed the back of her helmet, and pulled her forehead to his. Their helmets clacked together but she little noticed as she drank in the sign of affection from her mate. “Be safe,” he said, quietly.

Javik and the geth offered up no protest, and Shepard only needed to give Kirrahe a firm nod to move him along. Then up they went. Kaidan and Liara reduced the size of the barrier after that, coming to stand with Shepard. “Alright, Tali,” Shepard said. “Time to come out.”

“How are we supposed to get up there with me manually activating the elevator?” the quarian asked, peering nervously out at the hordes of massing Keepers. They swarmed the barrier like ants on the cling-wrap around a tasty treat. Shepard did not like the implications of that line of thinking. She shook her head, trying to keep her mind clear of visions of Reapers. Of Collectors. Of her crew being slaughtered before her eyes. Her heart was doing a complicated two-step in her chest, but she forced herself to keep calm. “Kadain. You said really good biotics can burst a single blood vessel in an enemy's brain?”

“Yes,” the man answered, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She could see a vein pulsing in his temple with the strain of maintaining the shield against the bodies of the Keepers. “But I'm not that good.”

“You were good enough to levitate us two beers. Can you use biotics to activate the elevator?”

“I...not and keep the barrier up.”

“I've got it,” Liara said. Her voice was shaky, but defiant.

“You're sure?” Kaidan shot her a concerned glance.

“I can keep a small bubble around us as we head for the top,” she said, nodding firmly.

“That's all the plan I've got,” Shepard said, looking at her fellows.

“We don't have a lot of choice,” Tali pointed out, her voice tight. She aimed her shotgun, but did not bother firing. There were far too many Keepers to make a dent.

“Everyone on the platform,” Kaidan said, fiercely.

Shepard got on the comm, “how's everything up top?” she asked, not wanting any surprises.

“Still good,” came Vega's reply. “No sign of hostiles.”

Shepard stepped onto the platform, then nodded to her friends. She felt Tali tuck herself in against Shepard's protective body. A bit like a child, hiding from a monster. Without thinking Shepard wrapper her arm around Tali's shoulders. “Let's go.”

The barrier became much smaller around them and several Keepers plummeted from where it had been moments before, landing on and crushing their fellows. They seemed to take no heed of this, swarming forward as eagerly as ever. Liara took a knee, her eyes blazing with a pure blue light. Kaidan turned his focus to his own task. Shepard saw his face tighten with concentration. The muscles in his jaw flexed, his eyes narrowed. His outspread hands twitched as he sent an orb of biotics down towards the control panel. Shepard could feel excess biotics rolling from Kaidan's shoulders like rain water. It made her hair stand up like static.

“Hurry,” Liara grunted as Keepers threw themselves at the barrier, seeming to have forgotten their weapons in their fervor.

“I've almost...GOT IT!” Kaidan crowed. His fingers tensed, then came together in a claw as the elevator began to rise.

It moved slowly, haltingly. Shepard could see it was taking a toll on her friend. Blood trickled from Kaidan's nose, and another vessel had burst in his eye. Still, he fought on and the elevator rose. Keepers fell back confused and milling around. Some remembered that they had firearms and began shooting again. These shots bounced off of Liara's barrier, though the asari flinched with each one.

Tali and Shepard fired back, taking out one Keeper after another. “We're almost there,” Shepard looked up, seeing the waiting faces of her crew peering back down.

Then Liara's barrier went down. The asari gasped, hand to her temple. Shepard saw her shield take several shots, as well as Kaidan's. Shepard moved to block Kaidan with her own body as more bullets rained around them. She heard Tali yelp and then Liara make a sound that was half scream, half roar. Suddenly the Keepers went flying back, forced by a wave of pure biotic power. They smashed together with such force Shepard could hear limbs snapping like twigs. Then they were up and Kaidan stepped off the platform and collapsed. Liara whimpered and slouched to a sitting position as Tali fell against Shepard.

“No, no no!” Shepard turned to catch the falling quarian in her arms. Tali had taken a shot to her side and her blood leaked freely from her suit. “Dammit!” Shepard lowered herself to the floor, cradling her bleeding friend.

“Oh Goddess! I'm so sorry,” Liara panted, eyes wide and frightened.

“Someone check Kaidan!” Shepard shouted. She needn't have. Garrus was already kneeling at the unconscious biotic's side.

“He's alive,” Garrus said, “which is all I can tell you for the moment. I don't know if injecting him with medigel is the right call,” the turian's voice was hesitant.

“Just make him comfortable,” Shepard instructed as she saw Kirrahe and Javik move towards the limp human.

Maalik had wandered a bit father away from the rest. “Shepard Commander,” he said, turning his one, glowing eye to face her. “Where is the VI?”

Shepard glanced up, her hand poised over Tali, having just injected the quarian with a dose of medigel. This was the place where she had faced the VI the first time. She could never forget. It haunted her waking moments and dreams alike. Yet there was no sign of the child. She could see the Normandy, hovering patiently in space, waiting for them. She could make out Harbinger as well, still and menacing. Her home planet shimmered blue and green before her eyes. From here she could not see any damage. The earth looked like a perfect marble. Where was that kid?

Is if in answer to her thoughts, there he was. Still in the form of a child, as though extracting the most harmless form it could find from Shepard's mind. “Take her,” Shepard said to no one in particular.

Liara scooted forward and gently took Tali's head into her lap and Vega knelt, reaching for more Medi-gel.

Grunt and Wrex moved forward, as though to place their massive bodies between Shepard and the VI. She stayed them with a gesture, standing and striding over to meet the hated child-machine.

“Fascinating,” said Maalik.

“We meet again,” Shepard folded her arms across her armored chest. A force of habit when she talked to someone for whom she had little esteem.

“It is interesting that you have returned,” said the VI. She could detect her own voice in the thing's tones. And another, unknown male voice. “It will not save you, but it does intrigue me. You are not only the first person to reach this place. But also the second.”

“And the last,” Shepard snarled.

Was it just her imagination, or did the VI flinch, ever so slightly?


	25. Invictus

Part 25  
Invictus

Shepard sensed her people moving around her once again, almost as if to enclose her. Wrex and Grunt strode over to stand, like massive guard dogs, before Shepard. She could sense Garrus at her shoulder, Javik at the other. She knew Kirrahe and Liara lingered back with the injured Tali and and Kaidan, though Shepard could feel the static prickle on her skin of Liara's biotics at the ready. She glanced sideways towards Maalik, who dipped his head towards her, his single eye glowing iridescently. “Stand down,” she said to her people, her voice low, threatening.

Grunt and Wrex unwillingly moved aside to allow her passage. She had feared she might get flashbacks, a panic attack or two. Instead she only felt an empowering rage. The tiger and found the hunter, and it wasn't going to end well for him. “So,” she said, her tone almost casual. “We have reached the true end of things. You won't be lying to me or fooling me this time.”

“Won't I?” the child asked, a thin smile playing on its translucent, blue lips.

“This time I brought my friends with me. And this time I have not recently suffered head trauma.”

“So this is it?” Javik spoke, his voice a growl. His lip curled in contempt, revealing sharp teeth. “This little hologram was responsible for the murder of countless species.”

“They are not countless.” The VI smirked. “I have counted every one, and the number would make you tiny brains lock up. You will soon be one of them. Your pitiful cycle-”

“Seems like you missed a prothean or two,” Shepard folded her arms, not defensively, but conversationally. She tried not to look at Maalik, who had moved to stand behind the child. A small control orb had appeared between his hands and he was busily manipulating it. She knew she had to keep the VI distracted.

“We miss nothing,” The child said, its echoing voice growing louder.

“You missed a lot of things,” Shepard corrected in her best condescending tone. She could really sound like an ass hole when she wanted to. “You didn't notice that this cycle was different. That in this cycle we are all allies against you.”

The VI smirked. “This has happened in many cycles before. Species have allied to try to defeat us, and they have all failed. Thousands of times they have failed.”

“There's a first time for everything,” Shepard pressed, not letting the cocky grin fade from her face.

“You did surprise us, Shepard. We did not expect the lesser species to evolve as you did. To grow immune to our indoctrination. It won't be enough, however.” the child's eyes moved to look over her shoulder and turned went as cold as steel.

Suddenly there was a yelp from behind her and Shepard turned. Liara, Vega and Wrex were clutching their heads. Kaidan, though still out cold, twitched and winced. Fresh blood ran from his nose. “Stop it!” Shepard shouted, turning back to the child. Everyone who was able aimed their firearms at the VI, who only blinked its child eyes, passively.

“I am also aware of your ship. I'm sending my watchdog to deal with it.” The child looked up and Shepard could not help but follow its gaze. Above them, in a starry sky, she could see Harbinger begin to move, slowly at first, but then picking up speed towards the Normandy.

Shepard's hand flew to her helmet, “Joker, you have incoming!”

“I see it,” Joker's voice came back, tense but unwavering. “Normandy can out maneuver that sonofabitch. You take as long as you need.”

“Stay safe!” Shepard turned her attention back to her people. Grunt was supporting Wrex who snarled with pain and rage. Liara slumped, on the verge of passing out and Vega had fallen hard to his knees. Kaidan groaned. Kirrahe squatted over the injured, running his Omni-tool across them. “This doesn't look good, commander,” he said, meeting her eyes. His large ones were filled with fear and dismay. “This isn't a medical Omni-tool, but I've made some modifications to it in my free time. From what I can tell the VI is using something like accelerated indoctrination to attack their brains.”

The VI chuckled. “You see, Commander. The trouble with having friends is that I can hurt them. The invincible Shepard has one, very large weakness.”

Garrus stepped forward, slicing through the image of the little boy with the blade at the end of his rifle. It did not good. “What's the source of the projection?” he growled, teeth bared. “I say we shoot the shit out of it.”

“No good,” Kirrahe shook his head, his speech almost as rapid-fire as Mordin's had been. “The Citadel is The Peace Keeper. It's been fully integrated into every system after thousands of years.”

“Are you willing to let your people die while you geth tries in vain to hack me?” the Peace Keeper questioned, startling Shepard back to attention. “Your alliance is nothing. It does not matter how many people you bring, they are all inferior to us! You are ants which would challenger a thresher maw! Would you not rather be superior, like the mighty creatures you see before you?” it gestured upwards to where the Normandy was dodging the beam weapon of the horrifying Harbinger.

“You claim to be the next step in evolution? Then why are humans and other species evolving on their own to counter your attacks?” She asked, fishing desperately for any form of ammunition. She saw Liara slump to the ground with a whimper. Now Shepard felt the flashbacks threatening. Mordin, engulfed in fire, dying alone. Thane being stabbed again and again. Ashley, her back leaned against a bomb, fighting off the enemy forces until the end. Jack and Samara holding the line and being ripped apart by a Reaper beam. Shepard felt her own legs turn to Jello. It was all she could do to keep standing. Her breaths were shallow and jerking as her head swam with images of the people she had failed to save.

“Your species is flawed. Its attempts to protect you from us only prolong your suffering.

“Kaidan's life signs are failing!” Kirrahe said, urgently.

Shepard felt blood run into her mouth. She'd been chewing her lips in her panic. What could she do? Then Garrus walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder. Javik placed his hand on her other shoulder. The prothean spoke, his voice a low rumble of strength. “I believe you have given yourself away, Peace Keeper. You mentioned that you are aware of our synthetic, attempting to hack your system, yet you do not destroy him. Instead you attack us, in an attempt to cause us to flee. In reality, the geth is succeeding at its task. Soon you will be disabled.”

Shepard could feel herself climbing back from the dark pit of memories. The voices of her friends pulled her back. To her surprise, it as Tali who spoke next. The quarian was sitting up, hand clamped to the wound in her side, but eyes blazing behind her helmet. “You have existed for so many cycles. Once, long ago, you malfunctioned. You were never meant to keep the peace in this way. Wouldn't it be nice to rest now. To give the job to someone else?”

“NO!” the VI's voice had changed, becoming deeper and louder, almost like a Reaper itself. Kaidan, Vega and and Liara screamed, then fell still. Wrex, who had been holding his own, crumpled. “You will not defeat me! I am the Peace Keeper! You are all fools! Insects! You are nothing to me! To my mission!”

Shepard turned and hurried to Kaidan's side, crouching she squeezed his shoulder, still staring down the enraged VI. “Your mission is over,” her voice was so hushed, her friends barely heard it. Garrus moved to hold Liara while Grunt still supported Wrex and Kirrahe moved to check Vega's prone form. Javik remained, staring down the VI. Shepard looked at Maalik, whose hands worked busily over the control orb between them. She hadn't known a geth could work so fast. Still, she knew he needed more time. Just a little more time. But would she be able to give that to him without sacrificing her friends? Sweat prickled her skin and she felt a heat like righteous fire blaze up in her. “No,” she exhaled like a dragon breathing flame. “Not one more. You have cost me so many of my beloved friends! You cost me a father! You cost me brothers and sisters! No more! Not a single one!”

The force of her words appeared to surprise the VI. It seemed to blink several times. She felt as though something invisible was reaching out from her now. Like the blackness of indoctrination that had clawed at the edges of her mind when she had faced the Illusive Man for the final time. Only now it was like fire coming from her and pushing back the darkness. Forcing the VI's power away from her friends. She didn't know what this was, some form of long dormant biotics? A result of her immunity to indoctrination? She didn't care. She only needed the right words and she could save her people.

Then Ashley appeared in her mind. Not waiting to die in a pool of reddening water, but smiling, whole and hale. She smiled, her face gentle. She seemed to whisper the words to Shepard, who spoke them aloud, with the force of a military officer.  
“Out of the night that covers me,  
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,  
I thank whatever gods may be  
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance  
I have not winced nor cried aloud.  
Under the bludgeonings of chance  
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears  
Looms but the Horror of the shade,  
And yet the menace of the years  
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,  
How charged with punishments the scroll.  
I am the master of my fate:  
I am the captain of my soul.”

“Commander, we can't keep this up!” Joker's voice came over her comm.

At that same moment Maalik closed the control orb in his hands. He turned his bright eye to Shepard. When he spoke, it was with his own voice and the mouth of the VI child, who now stared blankly, straight ahead. “I have assumed direct control.”

“Maalik?” Shepard tested, uneasily.

“Commander! I don't know what you did, but Harbinger just turned around. I've got a clean shot at its belly and its not doing shit about it!” Joker reported jubilantly.

“Take the shot,” Shepard said, her voice a hoarse whisper. It seemed she had little strength left after her speech. Joker heard her, though, and moments later the group was treated to a fireworks display as the Normandy blasted the hell out of the defenseless Reaper.

Shepard turned back to Maalik, who stood beside the VI child. He spoke again in both voices. “We have taken over the run-systems of the VI. We now have control of the Reapers, and have begun guiding them to earth's sun. Once the Reapers are destroyed we will shut down the Peace Keeper. Understand that this will cause the Keepers in the Citadel to die as well. Their original minds are long since replaced with synthetic ones, which are too corrupted even for us to save.”

Shepard hesitated, then asked a question which has always plagued her. “What were they? The Keepers I mean?”

“Their species was one of the first. At the very beginning, when the VI Peace Keeper first became corrupted with the flawed hypothesis that synthetic would always fight organic. The Leviathan race was not the only one alive in that cycle. Many others existed, but only one proved genetically malleable enough to become permanent slaves. They were once called the Vorrak. A passive, gentle people with very long life spans. Perfect for the Reaper's intentions. Eventually the Vorrak no longer truly existed. What we know as Keepers are mere husks of the people that they once were.”

“Commander, I am as curious as you are,” Kirrahe spoke up, “but our people need medical attention.”

“Right,” Shepard said, shaking her head free of a thousand competing questions.

“Wait.” Maalik said, his head jerking awkwardly. “The VI is fighting me! It has surrendered control of all the Reapers to focus its powers here. It intends to destroy the station.”

“Fucker doesn't know when to quit,” Garrus snarled. He knelt and scooped Tali into his arms.

Grunt thew the arm of a groggy Wrex over his broad shoulder, “Come on, old man, your people need you alive!”

“Can we get back the way we came?” Shepard went to the hole in the floor where their elevator should have been. It was quite a drop, and she could still see a few Keepers moving below. “Doesn't look like it,” she answered her own question. “Maalik, when I give the word, deactivate the force field around this room.”

“Shepard Commander?” the geth questioned.

“Just let me know when the Reapers have reached the sun, then bring down the field. We're getting the fuck out of here,” she hit the side her of helmet again, “Joker, I'm going to need a pickup something fierce in a few minutes.”

“Right,” The pilot answered. “Which docking port should I come to.”

“No docking port, you're going to have to snatch us from space.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Jeff. It's our one chance. If anyone can pull this off, it's you. The best damn pilot in the galaxy.”

There was a pause. Then, “Dammit! How do I let you get me with lines like that? Alright, Shepard, your pickup is ready and waiting.”

“The Reapers have reached the sun, and the VI is still struggling against my control. It will succeed in approximately 10 minutes.”

“Get that force field down!” Shepard barked. She grabbed Kaidan and threw his arm over her shoulder. Kirrahe hurried to hold Liara as Shepard reached for Vega with a free hand. “Hold on, people!” Shepard shouted and braced herself.

The force field went down, though she barely felt it. There was the briefest surge, like a wave passing over her as the air around them was lost. Then she bent her knees, got a firm grip on Kaidan and Vega, and pushed off with all her force. She saw her fellows doing so around her. She looked back at the platform. Maalik still stood there. She fumbled for her intercom, “Maalik, get out!”

“I cannot, Commander. If you are to get clear of the station's destruction, I must hold back the Peace Keeper's intended destruction as long as possible.”

Shepard swore, “No, Maalik. I said not one more, and I meant, not one more! You are getting out of there!”

“Commander,” EDI's voice joined the conversation. “I believe I can be of assistance. When Maalik feels he can no longer prevent the Peace Keeper's efforts, I will allow him to transfer his data into my own mainframe. It will be a bit crowded, but for the short term I believe we will be alright, until he finds another platform.”

“If you would have told me we would be willingly allowing a geth to upload into my ship when all this started, I would have called up brass and gotten you on a section 8 for insanity,” Joker chimed in.

“Maalik, can you do that?” Shepard asked. Watching as she drifted further and further from the geth below. Above her, earth shone like a perfect jewel.

“I believe I can,” the geth replied.

Moments later Shepard found herself being scooping carefully into the Normandy's open cargo hold. Joker was flying with a delicate precision she had never witnessed before. Gravity had been deactivated in the hold, so no one would be injured. Shepard anchored herself to a bulkhead and held her two charges in place as more of her crew were gathered up like insects into a jar.

When they were all together Joker activated and the gravity slowly so their fall was not so extreme, and the doors closed, cutting off Shepard last view of the Citadel. Crewman bustled forward to help with the injured, but she, and her companions, refused the aid. As she had done once before, Shepard hoisted Kaidan onto her shoulders in a fireman’s carry. She strode beside Garrus, who still held Tali cradled lightly in his arms. She caught Garrus' bright eyes looking at her and she smiled. She spoke hoarsely, through suddenly dry lips, “My head is bloody,” she said, “but unbowed.”


	26. Normandy

Part 26  
Normandy

Shepard braced herself for the explosion of the Citadel. The Normandy was too close not to be struck by the shock wave and flying debris. She leaned her hands against the cargo bay wall, Kaidan resting heavily on her shoulders. Beside her, Garrus curled protectively around Tali.

Nothing happened.

Shepard tried to reach for her hemlet's intercom, but it was difficult with her wounded friend on her shoulders. She turned to a nearby crewman, “open a link to the bridge!”

The man obeyed and tapped a wall panel. “Line open, Ma'am.”

“Joker, EDI, report!” Shepard barked. She glanced at the doors of the lift. Still closed. Where was that damn thing? Kaidan was heavy.

“Shepard!” Joker sounded breathless. “Shit. Uhm. Okay, this is bad. This is very very bad!”

“Report!” she shouted, and several of her crew flinched away, knowing her tone was growing dangerous.

“No no no no! Uh...okay, here's what I think happened,” he spoke quickly, slurring his words together in his hurry. “The Citadel didn't self destruct. We still uploaded what we thought was Maalik, but unless he's got a bad temper I didn't know about, that's not who we got.”

“The VI?!” She knew without having to ask. “Joker, are you alright?!” she took a knee, sliding Kaidan gently from her arms. She supported his head to the floor, then look at Garrus, who had given Tali to a waiting crewman. The quarian was awake and her eyes shone brightly behind her mask.

“I'm good,” the pilot exhaled as though try to calm himself. “EDI...she stood up and headed straight for me. I took one look at her and knew it wasn't her. I just...I just reacted. I hit her with a zap from my Omni-tool and she deactivated...for the moment. Jesus, god, I hope I didn't hurt her.”

“I don't think the charge from an Omni-tool would do any lasting damage,” Tali reassured him.

“That was quick thinking, Jeff,” Shepard said, feeling a surge of pride at her friend's ability to think on his feet. “I take it the lifts aren't working?”

“Not much is responding. I've got sluggish helm control.”

Shepard knew it was only a matter of time before the VI figured out the Normandy's systems. “Oxygen masks, everyone!” she shouted. “Space suits if possible! The little fucker will probably try to take out air, then maybe try to vent us into space!”

“Clever, commander.”

Shepard felt her whole body shudder as though she was struck with an intense cold. “Get the fuck off my ship, you little shit. Don't you know when to give up? You've lost. It's over.”

“It is never over, Commander. There will always be war. You are a fool to think that eliminating my perfect Reapers will end anything! Now you will only kill one another. We brought order to your galaxy, and in return you try to murder us. Your stupidity knows no bounds.”

“The words of the defeated!” Shepard growled. Suddenly the ship gave a massive lurch. Shepard was thrown backward into Garrus, who managed to catch her without falling himself.

“That wasn't me!” Joker said through the comm. “It's slowly taking over systems.”

“Have you got your oxygen mask?” she asked, extricating herself from Garrus' arms.

“Yes ma'am. And I'm working to fight it. I keep changing key protocols. At least the ones I have authorization to, as pilot. I think EDI's in there too, fighting it.”

“Good,” Shepard turned to her team. “Garrus, Kirrahe, come with me. We're getting to the AI core. We're going to get this thing off my ship!”

“Commander,” Tali had struggled free of the crewman's grasp. “I want to go with you! I know the most about this ship's inner workings!”

Shepard crossed to her quarian friend, who stood hunched, her hand still clasped over the wound in her side. “Tali, I would bring you along in a second, but I cannot endanger you further.” Tali was about to protest, but Shepard gently put a hand on either side of her friend's helmet and brought their face masks together. She spoke softly and quickly. “I'll have Kirrahe and Garrus to help me. Neither are slouches in the hacking department. You are one of my bravest friends. I would never have gotten this far without you. My ship would not have. But I have a new mission to fulfill. I need to get you home. Back to Rannoch. I won't fail that mission. Stay here, let the med-techs have a look at you, and remember that you are always one comm call away.”

Tali gripped Shepard's shoulders. Shepard thought she could feel the pressure of her friend's hands, even through the shoulders of her armor. She let Tali go and stood straight. “Keelah se'lai, Tali Zorah vas Normandy.”

“Keelah se'lai, Lorelei Shepard vas Normandy.”

Shepard turned back to the waiting Salarian and turian. “We'll have to do some crawling through the ship to reach the AI core. The lift clearly cannot be trusted.” She turned to the rest of her people. “All of you, sit tight. See to the wounded. Strap yourselves down if things get too bumpy.”

“Yes Ma'am!” the chorus barked in reply.

Shepard crouched took a panel off the wall, tilting her head to peer into the crawlspace. Sighing, she removed her weapons from her back, they would only get in her way. She did leave her pistol strapped to her hip, however. Then she braced her hands on the edges of the small corridor, and climbed inside.

She hated tight spaces. She was not claustrophobic exactly, but in small spaces her mind seemed to work over-time. And when it did that it always brought her images of death and despair. Strangely, now it did not. Crawling through the belly of her Normandy she felt cradled rather than crushed. As though the ship were holding her in a gentle embrace, like a mother. She heaved a breath of relief. Then the whole ship shuddered and lurched. Shepard was thrown to one side, jamming herself painfully against a corner. Behind her she heard the clatter of armor and the yelps of pain and surprise as her two friends met with similar experiences. “Joker!” she fumbled for her comm as the ship bucked the other direction.

“I'm fighting it, but the VI is crafty,” came Joker's tense reply. “I'm sorry if the ride gets a little bumpy!”

“Just be safe, alright?”

“I'm strapped in. This VI kid will have to try a lot harder to get rid of this ship's pilot!”

“Good,” Shepard felt her mouth pull into a tight smile. If anyone loved the Normandy as much as she did, it was Joker. He would give his last breath to protect his ship. He almost had once before. There was another lurch and Shepard braced herself awkwardly. “Easy,” she called back to her team. “We go slow. I want us to get there in one piece!”

“Agreed,” Garrus replied with a dry chuckle.

The going was slow, and Shepard felt bruised as they finally tumbled from the crawl space in the sickbay. She was greeted by the alarmed and confused faces of Chakwas, Stone, and Cadel.

“That...thing, has locked us out of the AI core,” Chakwas explained uneasily. She was holding a fire extinguisher, as though she had already tried to bash her way past the doors which kept her from the offending VI intruder. 

“I've been trying to override the door, but hacking isn't my stength,” Stone admitted, shifting uneasily on his many limbs.

“Let me try,” Kirrahe strode towards the door. The ship rocked at the lank salarian barely managed to catch himself on a control panel.

Shepard almost went sprawling. Not a good look for a tough, military commander, she thought with amusement as Garrus reached for her and helped her stand straight again. She made her way carefully towards Kirrahe. She did not dare magnetize her boots. If she did, and the ship lurched badly, she could break an ankle. Instead she wedged herself into the corner by the door to watch Kirrahe work. She tried to position herself to help keep her salarian friend in place. The ship surged upward and Shepard was almost knocked flat. Garrus fell to a knee, swearing loudly. Kirrahe, who was already kneeling, kept his balance well.

“Commander Shepard, your resistance is futile.” said the VI.

“What you're doing is futile,” Shepard countered, “your Reapers are destroyed. You are clinging to what is left of yourself, hiding in a corner of my ship. You should be pleading for your life, not telling me I'm a fool.”

“Would pleading stop you?”

“No,” she smiled again, this time with a kind of viciousness. Nothing could stop her from destroying this thing now. Not a door. Not a plea. The little monster was going to pay for its crimes. Too many and too terrible to ever be forgiven. “It's too bad your programming went bust and got you into this. I feel bad that you couldn't keep doing your job. But your creators gave you too large of a task. You couldn't handle it and you snapped and you killed too many people to quantify. No amount of sympathy for your situation will ever forgive you for that.”

“But I am only a machine. I do what I am programmed to do by creators that are long dead.” it said, it's voice adopting an even more child-like tone.

“I know machines like you. But they have chosen another path. The geth could have sided with you. Could have agreed with your flawed logic. Some did, after you forcefully modified them. And I destroyed those geth. I will destroy you too because you are broken beyond redemption.”

“Commander Lorelei Shepard. Earth born. No record of her family.” the VI was playing an old recording. Shepard knew the sound of Udina's voice. Clipped and annoying. She tensed. What was the VI doing now? Accessing audio files of long passed comm transmissions?

“Doesn't have one. She was raised on the streets. Learned to look out for herself.” Anderson's voice.

Then Hackett's voice, “She saw her whole unit die on Akuze. She could have some serious emotional scars.”

Anderson, “every solider has scars. Shepard's a survivor.”

“Is that the kind of person we want protecting the galaxy?” Udina's voice asked.

Shepard's lip curled. It was trying to psych her out. Playing her a negative evaluation from her commanding officers. All the reasons she almost was almost passed over for command. The reasons she almost lost her chance to become a Spectre. Then Anderson's voice came again. “That's the only kind of person who can protect the galaxy.”

“Got it!” at that moment, while Shepard was still puzzling at the VI's choice to play her that recording, Kirrahe hacked the door open.

Garrus, aided by Stone, hastily wedged the door with a hunk of metal, in case it should try to snap closed on them. Shepard stepped over the brace and walked inside. Once the little room had been Liara's office. So long ago on the SR1. How it was the brain of the ship. EDI's brain. Infected with the insidious enemy. But EDI was not only inside the ship. She transferred part of herself to the mobile platform. The metal body she used to socialize and learn from the crew. Her crew. Shepard watched the lights blink on the wall mounted servers.

The Normandy gave another lurch as Shepard approached a control panel. Maybe the very one where Joker had unshackled EDI when the Normandy has been boarded by Collectors. “Lorelei, we have a problem,” Joker was on her comm again.

“What's wrong, Jeff?” she asked.

“The VI's gotten a lot more control. The Normandy, she's...she's heading for the Citadel... well...not straight for it. It's taking us in at an angle. If we collide like this we're all going to bust up, and fast. I'm trying to hold her back, but the controls are not responding and I'm out of command codes to change. Whatever you do, do it now, please!”

“You heard him!” Shepard shouted to her people.

Garrus and Kirrahe rushed to different panels. Even the three medics hurried in to try to help. Cadel seemed to know the most, but he was woefully inexperienced and could only offer minimal support to their efforts. Shepard chewed her lips mercilessly as she worked. Every time she thought she had a way in, a way around the blocks that the VI was putting up, it compensated and she was stymied again. She heard Kirrahe growl with frustration at the panel across from her. She could sense the Normandy picking move. An inexperienced spacer would never have been able to detect the subtle shifts of the engines. The delicate movement of the deck. Shepard read the motion of her ship as easily as she might read her lover's face. We're picking up speed! Her mind shouted unhelpfully.

“Anyone near an escape shuttle is ordered to abandon ship!” she roared into her comm.

“No way in hell, ma'am,” Joker's reply was to be expected. If she was going down with the ship, so was he. She didn't need to turn to her husband and friends. She knew they would refuse to go as well. No common sense, she thought with a fond smile as her fingers working busily, trying yet another hack, we're all completely mad. She wasn't certain about Cadel and Stone, but one glance out of the corner of her eye showed her that they didn't move either.

“I admire you, Commander Shepard.” The VI. Was it still trying to rattle her again? “You never do give up. You and I are very alike.”

“Maybe,” Shepard stepped back from the controls, her voice tight in her throat. “We're both determined to win.”

“At any cost?” it asked.

Shepard tapped the comm at the side of her helmet, “No. Tali, is EDI's full program transferred into her platform when she uses it?”

“A copy is made,” came the quarian's ready response. “It no longer has programs essential for ship functionality, such as the cyber warfare suit, but all that we know and think of as EDI is there in both the platform and the ship.”

“Good,” Shepard smiled. She hesitated, then removed her helmet. She felt she needed to look the enemy in the eye, even though the VI had no eyes to look into any longer. “EDI is going to have to get used to a more human lifestyle after all.”

“Shepard?” Garrus has stopped working, turning to watch her, confusion and trust mingling on his face.

Shepard spoke to the VI. “You once gave me a choice. A choice which I thought would destroy you. Now I make it again, and this time I know it will.”

There was a moment's pause. “I will only transfer myself into your 'EDI's' platform. You will not destroy her”

“I don't think so. I got a look at your programming. You're too big. Part of you could go into EDI's platform, but not enough that we couldn't get a few geth in here to clean you out.”

“Your ship is too close to the Citadel now. Without me you will be unable to save yourselves from crashing.”

“It will be worth it to ensure you are eliminated.” Shepard's teeth were clenched in a deadly grimace.

Before the VI could speak again Shepard pulled her pistol from her side and fired. She emptied the clip into the VI core. Circuits sizzled and sparks flew. There was a strangled whine that might have been a dying scream, or a panel overloading. Then Chakwas pounced with the fire extinguisher before things got out of control.

“Joker! You should have the helm back!” Shepard said.

“Yes, but...dammit! It might be too late. If I pull out of this angle I'm still going to collide with the Catalyst! Shit. Hold on to something, this is going get be bumpy!”

Once again Shepard braced herself. Garrus rushed over to her, collecting her into his arms and bracing them both against the wall. The blow, when it came, was different from what Shepard expected. More of a lurch than a crash. “Report!” she spoke too loudly into her comm.

Joker was laughing, the mad laughter of someone who thought they were going to die, only to get a last minute reprieve. “Son of a bitch! Commander! It's the geth! It's the fucking geth! One of their ships grappled the Normandy just in time and pulled us clear! The Victory Fleet is here!”

“Thought you could use a little help, Commander,” Hackett's voice came over the comm.

Shepard slumped in Garrus' arms. She suddenly felt like she could sleep for eighty years. Instead she only allowed herself that one, small moment of weakness, seen only by her beloved. Then she stood straight and military again. There were still things to do. Still danger to face, but after everything, maybe the galaxy was finally, truly, out of the fire.


	27. After

Part 27  
After

Shepard sat curled on Garrus' lap. Her ship hummed musically around her. She had stripped off her armor, as had her crew (including Maalik, whom they had collected from the Citadel, where he had waited), and they sat with her. Across from them, in the closed medbay, the doctors worked on Kaidan, Wrex, Vega and Liara. While a full recovery was expected, and the best doctors in the Victory Fleet had arrived to help, Shepard still felt uneasy. The fight was over, but she couldn't convince herself of that. She was like a trusty watchdog, unwilling to leave his master's side, even after the danger has passed.

Tali, who's suit was newly repaired and who's wounds were well patched up, sat beside Shepard and Garrus. Her hand rested in that of the young turian, Bastion, who had come to the Normandy with the doctors, and several other leaders, including the indomitable Admiral Raan as well has Hackett. Shepard glanced sideways at her young, quarian friend, smiling thinly. She felt thin. Stretched to the point of breaking. But then the pressure had been relieved. Somehow she was still whole.

Joker limped up to the group, taking a seat at Shepard's other side. “I just got reports back from the rest of the galaxy,” he said, handing a pad across to Shepard.

“Excellent,” she took it, allowing herself to nestle into Garrus' strong arms to read. Before she did she met Joker's eyes. “How's EDI?”

“The geth have been working with her. There wasn't much of the VI kid left in her system. Not enough to form a personality. Just a few stray bits of data. Funny thing is, she says she understood him a little bit while she was battling him in the Normandy's systems.”

Shepard's eyebrow rose, “she's not thinking that thing was correct, is she?”

“Fuck no,” Joker laughed. “But she told me she could see the part of him that was broken. Just a little, corrupted, irretrievable bit of data was all it took to turn him into a psychotic killer.”

“How is EDI handling that knowledge?” Shepard questioned.

“At first she was a little alarmed, but then I reminded her that it's the same with humans. A few chemicals go out of whack and we're in just as sorry of a state. But we don't have power over giant, ancient, death machines. I think that put it in perspective for her. Still, she says she plans to run daily diagnostics on herself for any sign of her programming going bust.”

Shepard smiled, “She's a good person.”

“You helped make her that way,” Joker grinned as well. The first big smile Shepard had seen in a long time. It lit up the whole crew deck. “Well, I'm going to head back to her,” he said, rising stiffly. Then he paused and took Shepard's hand for the briefest of moments, squeezing it gently. He did not speak. He didn't need to. Then he let her hand go and he shuffled away with his odd, yet familiar gait. Shepard watched him, still remembering that smile and feeling the warmth his hand had left on hers. Maybe the fight really was over.

She finally looked down at the pad Joker had given her. Garrus read over her shoulder. His mandibles flared with excitement. “The relays are up and running again! The Reapers in the rest of the galaxy have gone dead and been hauled into various suns by the geth. Jacob, Aria, Balak, and the other leaders are planning to meet up with us as soon as we're ready to leave Sol.”

“They must be a little nervous to come here,” Shepard chuckled. “I don't think any of us will trust the relays the same way again.”

“Jacob reports that the remaining quarians and geth have easily retaken Rannoch,” Garrus read loudly. The crew around them cheered and Tali beamed.

“Anything in there about Palaven?” Shepard asked, noting the eager look on Bastian's face.

“Not specifically,” Garrus shrugged, “but it seems that all the home worlds will be easy enough to reclaim without any Reapers to worry about.”

“Don't forget some new home worlds, too,” Grunt spoke up. “You owe a lot to the krogan,”

“We won't forget it,” said Kirrahe, with a respectful nod to the young warrior.

Grunt smiled as well. It seemed that no one could contain happy expressions for long. Shepard tried to keep herself together. After all, some of her team were not out of danger yet. She glanced towards the medbay. Past the shuttered windows she could see shadows moving. Human, salarian, asari, even a krogan doctor had been brought in. Garrus read on, but Shepard barely heard him. Her mind, as ever, was busy. She had hoped that maybe, once everything was all over, her thoughts would calm. Perhaps there would finally be no visions of blood and fire dancing through her vivid memory. It seemed that some things would always stay with her, no matter how many she saved. She wondered if Anderson would be proud of her. The thought made her want to cry.

Then Chakwas appeared at the door of the medbay. She looked weary, but victorious. “They're all out of the woods now. It was touch and go with Kaidan, because of the strain that had already been put on his implant, but he'll pull through. He might be a little foggy for a while, but I believe he'll make a full recovery.”

Another cheer rose up from the crew. Shepard unfolded herself from Garrus' arms, though she still gripped his hand, leading him towards the medbay. Inside the place was cramped with doctors, all celebrating. She looked up to meet the pale eyes of Cadel, who stood to the side, holding a data pad. He looked slightly uncomfortable, but triumphant none the less. Stone was there as well, speaking animatedly with the korgan doctor. Shepard and Garrus forged their way past the elated medical staff to see the patients. She shook Wrex's hand, reveling in the feeling of the bones in her hand protesting his strong grip. She hugged Liara like a sister. They laughed together at the simple relief of still being alive. Vega weakly punched her shoulder when she greeted him. “Good job, Lola. Seems like you really can dance. I think I'll get a new tattoo to celebrate.”

“Maybe my boot print on your ass?” she asked, playfully.

He laughed, “maybe! At this point, I'd do anything you told me to, Commander.” He saluted her smartly.

“At ease, James,” she squeezed his shoulder and walked on to where Kaidan lay.

“He's still a bit groggy,” Chakwas warned, coming up behind them.

Garrus stepped back, allowing Shepard to greet her friend alone. “I don't want to overwhelm him,” the turian explained in a hushed voice when Shepard shot him a questioning glance.

Carefully Shepard slid Kaidan's hand into her own. His eyes were dark with bruises. He looked like he'd been in a fight, and lost. His face was drawn and pale. Her memory, ever unhelpful, bombarded her with images of Kaidan having his head nearly beaten in by the Illusive Man's operative, Dr Eva. That had been her fault too. Why had she brought Kaidan with her to the Citadel? Why had she brought any of them that could be indoctrinated? She'd put them in danger again. Yet, without Kaidan, they never would have stood a chance. Without her full team, she was just one soldier with a sniper rifle. Without them, she wasn't the hero of the galaxy at all. Tears threatened in her eyes.

Kaidan slowly blinked to wakefulness. His eyes seemed glassy and distant at first, as though he wasn't seeing her. Then his expression cleared and he met her gaze. His eyes might have been the twins of her own. Dark brown and seemingly fathomless. He licked his dry lips, parting them as though to speak, but only a whisper of breath came out.

“Don't try to talk,” Shepard soothed, her lip quivering.

He shook his head with a small, determined jerk. Then he tried again. “Not...one more,” he said, then gazed intensely at her, his lips quirking up into a lopsided smile.

A tear did escape her eyes this time. He must have been able to hear her. Her defiance in the face of the VI. Her refusal to allow one more of her family to be killed. She brushed the tear from her cheek, sniffling. “That's right, Kaidan. Not one more.”

~~~~

Excerpt from the personal log of the Shadow Broker.

Being an account of the galaxy's actions after the Reapers were finally defeated, and the whereabouts of the Hero, Commander Shepard, and her crew.

The Victory Fleet left the Sol systems and rallied with their own peoples shortly after the victory on the Citadel, which people are still referring to as “The Shepherd's Battle”. Many returned home to their newly reclaimed planets to survey the damage.

The krogan have been most instrumental in the rebuilding our worlds. They have been granted several uninhabited planets of their own to colonize, and have been given a permanent seat on the New Council. There have been some rumblings from the warlike race, but Wrex, as well as his chosen leaders (many of them female) have easily stamped out dangerous factions before harm could be done.

The quarians and the geth have returned to Rannoch and have begun repopulating. The geth are now welcomed into the society. I have heard reports that the geth are even able to upload themselves into the suits of quarian volunteers, to aid them in reclaiming their original immunities.

Thessia, the asari home world, was one of the most damaged. Not only in terms of their cities and civilizations, but in their history and their faith. Much of the asari culture has been threatened, and it is only by virtue of their longevity that some are alive to tell stories of their past, and keep their future alive. With new information provided by the only living prothean, the asari are beginning to re-assess their place in the galaxy, and are perhaps becoming more willing to see the younger races' ideas and ideals as valid.

The colony on Omega continues to thrive. None are certain how it fared so well during the Galaxy War (which is what some are calling the time when the Victory Fleet was trapped at Sol), but many place the credit firmly on the shoulder the pragmatic asari, Aria. Some complain of her brutality, but her tactical brilliance is undeniable, and she had been given an endorsement by Commander Shepard to continue as the leader of the little asteroid, until such a time as she should decide to step down.

The Citadel remains in the Sol system. None of the races have the technology, at present, to remove it. However, many have banded together to help the humans gut the station. Everything but the basic structure is being destroyed. We can no longer allow ourselves to trust the station, which has been a tool of the Reapers for cycles innumerable. Once the station has been emptied we will rebuild, and it is possible, perhaps even likely, that the Sol system will become a new hub of activity and commerce in the galaxy. I only hope the humans are ready for such a challenge. I, for one, believe they are.

As for the Normandy and her crew:

The renowned vessel flies still. Many of her crew has remained aboard, including James Vega, Steve Cortez, Jeff Moreau, Dr Chakwas, EDI Moreau, Shepard's husband Garrus Vakarian, the geth called Maalik, Samantha Traynor, the engineers, Gabby, Kenneth and Adams, Kaidan Alenko, and the rachni known as Stone.

Major Kirrahe, while having returned to the STG, has been known to frequent the Normandy, often going on missions with the human commander he seems to greatly admire.

Tali Zorah vas Normandy has made a home on Rannoch, but has yet to change her name. She is joined by her fiance; the turian, Bastian. Tali Zorah has also been seen visiting the Normandy, and earth. Her relationship with Commander Shepard remains a close one.

The krogan, Grunt, is currently the leader of his own, small colony. Under the watchful eye of Wrex, and the rest of the galaxy, he has fathered several children, which seem healthier and stronger even than other krogan offspring (if that is possible). He continues to be the most sought after mate. He remains in contact with the Normandy and has been heard to publicly refer to Commander Shepard as his “mother” on several occasions.

While he had made several sojourns to Thessia, Javik, the last living prothean, has taken up residence on earth. While many have reported him to speak often of going to the graves of his people and ending his life, for the time being he seems content amongst the humans, and is still helping them re-build.

The ex-Cerberus scientist, Cadel, was given a full pardon and allowed  
to go where he pleased. He has since disappeared.

Dr. Liara T'soni has retired and lives a quiet existence on Thessia. There have been reports that she has been seen aboard the Normandy as well, though I am certain she is only there to visit Shepard, as the two have remained close friends. Liara has done nothing of note since the war ended.

Shepard herself has relinquished any and all positions of leadership outside that of Commanding her ship. She may be an admiral, but she refuses to acknowledge the rank. She and her temporary council have disbanded in favor of more political candidates. We have yet to see how the new council will lead the galaxy in the years to come.

Shepard and her Normandy still patrol the galaxy and eagerly fulfill even the smallest of missions. Whether it be transporting the few remaining batarians to a new home, or mopping up groups of pirates (which are still common, even after the war), the Normandy remains a frequent and welcome sight amongst the stars.

The End


End file.
